New York, New York and…Coach K?

08 Apr

Let’s begin…

So, I woke up this morning, started my coffee pot, read my bible, and turned on my computer. I see the front page story on ESPN about the New Jersey Nets. Their soon to be new owner Mikhail Prokhorov, wants to hire Coach Mike Krzyzewski (now the coach at Duke University) and will pay him $15 million dollars.

My first thought was, “Wow that’s a lot of money, and he’s definitely not worth it.”

Then I started listening to sports radio and analysts talk (people that get paid to do this. Unlike me, I do it out of the goodness of my heart) and most of them were actually arguing that it would be a good idea. Many of them said, “Well if they get LeBron James, Coach K, and John Wall, they could be good next year.”

Hey, check this out guys that have no idea what reality is. There are four conditional terms in that statement, and it’s very probable that none of them will happen. Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but LeBron is 26, and ready to win now. You think he’s hinging his legacy on, John Wall? That guy has never once woken up, and thought, “The playoffs start today.” That has never entered his mind. If, and I repeat if, John Wall is great it will be about four years until he’s ready to win multiple playoff series (for the boys and girls paying close attention, LeBron is now 30. Now tell the idiot next to you with the “Nets to Brooklyn tee shirt on). So, 4 years in john Wall is an All-Star, LeBron is still the best player in the league, and coach K is getting paid like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 2…but hold on! Did you forget john Wall’s contract is up? He’s going to want to get paid. Oh yeah, and that other guy, last name James, he’ll have one year left on the max five year deal. He’ll have maybe one Championship appearance, and zero titles. What?…huh…why zero you ask? A couple reasons, Dwight Howard and Kevin Durant (we can debate Durant later. For right now I’ll continue kicking New York fans in the groin). So, who’s to say at that point LeBron (still 30 by the way) won’t leave, along with Coach K.? Now you’re left with john Wall, a player you would have had regardless.

But the whole idea of the Nets (I don’t know if I should say New Jersey or Brooklyn? Does it matter? They’ll suck either way) getting all these players, speaks to the bigger idea, and assumption about New York. All I ever hear is “New York is the Mecca of basketball” says who (personally I blame it on Sinatra), and why would they say that? Is it because they have better pick up basketball than Philadelphia or is it the And 1 mix tape? Neither the Knicks nor the Nets are championship organizations (and don’t throw 2 championships in the 70s. If 2 championships made you a championship organization, The Florida Marlins would have signed Alex Rodriguez?) The problem with professional basketball in is this. Are you ready? Alright, New York City basketball is like the guy you went to high school with that every girl wanted. So they never developed the art of getting women (babes, chics, or broads, depending on what era you were born in). Now there 30 year old in the club try to get women by knocking their books out of their hand. Oh and it never work (Did I really need to say that?). Mean while, there friend with better looks (the Yankees) and their other friends with no natural talent that ended up adapting (Mets, Jets, and Giants) have passed them bye. Now the Knicks and Nets are struggling to get back in the “Cool Cat Club.”

This is what New York should do. Build a team. Then maybe you wouldn’t need LeBron, Coach K, and John Wall to be competitive.

        With that being said, I will be moving to N.Y. in less than a year. Let’s just say the comedy scene is Championship level.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

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Posted by on April 8, 2010 in Basketball, Sports


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