The NBA Playoffs, There May Be D-Wade After Shocks

17 Apr

“Hey We Made It”

That’s what the people in my head are saying. We made it. Can you feel it? The NBA Playoffs are here.

    Before we get to the playoffs let me say this. The NBA season is too long for how uncompetitive some of the teams are. Its ridiculous how bad New Jersey, Golden State, and New York are, I literally think that there are more qualified basketball players in college and the D-League.

    Now let’s get to the playoff talk. I’m not going to talk about every team so, if you’re a fan of the Bulls or Milwaukee sign off now, and move to L.A. First, of all don’t be surprised by Boston this year. That’s not a good team. I even argue that they never were a true championship team. Only thing that would surprise me is if they won a series. I think that they may lose in the first round. I’m not calling the upset, because at anytime during game 2, Rasheed Wallace may remember that he’s actually supposed to be playing basketball. For that reason I think they win one series and after that they get whacked.

    The scariest teams in the playoff are Atlanta and San Antonio (in their respective divisions). Atlanta is a match up disaster for any team. They have size and speed on the wing. That’s hard to defend in any athletic field. The Spurs have a great coach, and the have the best chemistry out of all the teams in the west.

    Let’s just skip right to the Conference Finals. Start the drum roll, The Conference Finals will be Spurs/Mavericks v. Lakers and Cavilers v. Hawks. I go with Spurs or Mavs because I don’t know if Dirk will show up down the stretch. He may still be suffering from D-Wade ’07 Finals after shocks. He also had that episode with David West, where he was patted on the cheek. Google those videos, and watch Dirk’s eyes. He looks like he’s in the ring with Tyson in 1989. With that being said, if Dirk shows up the Mavs win.

    In the east I’m calling the upset. The Atlanta Hawks will get to the Conference Finals. If you’ve been watching for the last couple of years they have been right there. They have everything you need to beat Orlando. A good point guard, match up problems on the wing, and…oh yeah, Orlando have Vince Carter. I will always pick against him. He played his best basketball in those Nike Shox commercials. He reminds me of A-Rod, except he’s not as good, not as rich, and he don’t have a clutch bone in his body. Okay I guess we should scratch that comparison. I found a better one, just Google Jose Mesa.

    The Finals will be the Cavs v. one of the three teams out of the west. I would out right pick the, but Derek Fisher can’t guard anybody, and Bynum is made of Paper Mache. If the Spurs slip the Mavs, Tony Parker would work Derek Fisher and possibly get to the Finals. The Mavs have the best team on paper, but…the D-Wade after shocks could be in attendance. So, let’s say everything goes somewhat normal. I predict the Lakers will go to the Finals. Mavs can’t take advantage of the Lakers biggest flaw at the point guard. Jason Kidd is just too slow. Also, too much Kobe, too much Phil Jackson, and “This just in” Ron Artest may have food coloring in his hair.

    So, in the Finals we get what we have wanted for 3 years. Kobe v. LeBron

    At this point I will sign off. I’m not predicting the Finals because I’m a Cavaliers fan. Therefore I’m not subjective when it comes to them. I don’t want to entertain the idea that they may lose. So, why don’t you just tell me what you think? If you think Cleveland will win I will be happy? If you think L.A. will win I will act like I never heard it.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

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Posted by on April 17, 2010 in Basketball


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