NBA Playoff Round 2 Recap and Conference Finals Predictions

15 May

Let’s begin…

Alright so it’s time to put some NBA seasons to rest.

Hey Utah you’re rents due. I feel bad for all the little blonde haired blue-eyed children in Utah. You just didn’t have what it took to push the Lakers in any way. Thanks for beating Denver, because I was tired of looking at the tattoos. I have nothing bad to say about you guys. You had a great season and you overachieved.

The Atlanta Hawks, you frauds have got to go. You pulled the wool over my eyes. Everyone should leave Atlanta quickly and quietly. You have to treat that Atlanta Arena like a crime scene. You guys should have at least tried to win a game. My goodness, you guys laid down like Lassie. Everyone in Atlanta should stop playing basketball for a week, and help Joe Johnson look for his game. Hopefully he finds it on his way to New York.

The San Antonio Spurs are next up. It hurts me to do this, but I have to ask…George Hill? Really, did you really think he could compete with a 2 time MVP? Come on Pop, that’s ridiculous. After all the Championships you’ve won, how could you not know that Tony Parker could expose Steve Nash? I think this offseason should be spent finding a true backup for Tim Duncan, and try to find someone that has ACLs. I heard ACLs are important.

Now we all know who’s next. For a full disclaimer I want to let you know I am a Cleveland fan. So, I have a vested interest in sports in Cleveland being great. However, I will call it like I see it. Now let me proceed in ripping the Cleveland Cavaliers. What happened? Were you surprised? Were you shocked? Was your elbow hurting? You guys wet the bed in the second round. 20 years from now when you realize that you lost a playoff series to Rasheed Wallace when he wasn’t interested in playing, fire Mike Brown again.

So here now we are in the Conference Finals. There have been causalities along the way, but the best four teams are definitely left.

The Eastern Conference Finals

The Orlando Magic v. The Boston Celtics. I don’t know who I should pick in this series. Orlando has advantages off the bench, at coaching, and at center. Boston has the experience, the big three, and the best point guard in the series. At the same time Boston has the sometimes engaged often enraged Rasheed Wallace, while Orlando has the king of lying down, Vince Carter. I will pick the Orlando Magic in this series. As much as I hate to think that Vince Carter will be in the Finals, I think it will happen. Boston struggles guarding multiple scorers. Orlando doesn’t have a consistent second scorer. They have Vince, Rashard, and Nelson as second scorers by committee. Orlando struggles when they can’t shoot, and Boston will definitely run them off the 3 point line. The problem Boston has is they just don’t have the legs to win the series. I would pick Orlando in 5 but they have Vince Carter. I will pick Boston in 6.

The Western Conference Finals

The Phoenix Suns v. The L.A. Lakers. The Lakers have the clear advantage in this series, and truthfully it’s not close. If the Lakers play to there potential they could beat Phoenix in 5. However in the last statement lies the problem. The Lakers don’t always play to there potential. So Phoenix has a chance, because I know Steve Nash will play hard every game. If Phoenix plays hard, and Bynum and Odem don’t show up the Suns have a chance. I don’t play ifs when it comes to picking series. So, I’m taking the Lakers in 6.

We have a finals rematch.

Jay Hollingsworth wanted a shout out on my blog, because I counted out the Celtics. So, here it is Jay, “Shout Out.”

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)


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