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NBA Playoffs: It’s time For Penthouse, Townhouse, and Outhouse Invitations

15 May

Let’s begin…

 

The Outhouse

First the entire Atlanta Hawks franchise must get in. I’d even throw Mookie Blaylock and Stacy Augmon in the Outhouse, because of association. By the way I hope the debate about whether Joe Johnson is a max player is over. He isn’t a max player even though he will be paid like one (please see Rashard Lewis).

    Mike Beasley, I know you’re young, but welcome to the Outhouse. Enjoy your stay.

    The Denver Nuggets state of mind is welcome to have a whole section. Please leave your intelligence at the door.

    Dirk Nowitzki and Mark Cuban are up next. However, Cuban can go, but only if you leave Dirk.

Oh, Antawn Jamison get in the Outhouse, and don’t leave until Kevin Garnett stops pissing on you. I’ll make a deal with you. If you skip the last 4 years of your deal, I will start a Facebook campaign to send you back to D.C.

Mike Brown why don’t get in, and switch off with Antawn Jamison. You got worked by Doc Rivers, one of the worst postseason coaches ever (don’t email me until you check his record). So, Doc if you would do the honor, unload that big lunch.

    “Please rise and welcome the last guy into the Outhouse for the second year in a row.” I was just practicing Mo Williams’ intro.

 

The Townhouse

Ron Artest, Rajon Rondo, Paul Peirce, Vince Carter, Amare Stoudemire, you’ll are welcome to stay in my Townhouse. Please sit in the, “I don’t know if you’re for real yet” section. Now relax it may not be permanent. You guys have at least 4 playoff games left, so it could get better. Except for one of these guys, just guess who…it took you too long. Vince Carter he may lay down in the Out house while Peirce does the honors.

    Kevin Garnett and Doc Rivers zip up your pants and come it here.

    How about we send an invite to Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook? You may make it in the Penthouse eventually, but as for now share the couch.

    Brandon Jennings welcome. By the way, you were right to skip college and go to Europe. It made you a better player.

Darren Williams and Carlos Boozer, come on in. Jerry Sloan can show you around, he practically lives here.

I’ve been debating whether I should, but I think I will. So LBJ, LeBron James, King James, The Chosen One…which ever one of your alter egos showed up for games 4 and 5 of round two please get in. If you don’t go to New York, please tell me a day in advance. I want to go to Florida and laugh about it with Isaiah Thomas.

 

The Penthouse

Dwight Howard, Stan Van Gundy, and the L.A. Lakers (except for Artest, he’s coloring his hair in my Townhouse sink) are all welcome. I have a feeling all you guys will be here a while.

    Steve Nash, it’s been a long time coming, but now you’re official.

    Grant Hill you’re that last one in. You have always showed up. Thanks for not taking the Anfernee Hardaway approach.

 

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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