It hit the headlines right after Dez Bryant hit the microphone at the Dallas Cowboys training camp, “Dez Bryant refuses to carry Roy Williams’ shoulder pads.” Now Rookie hazing is a familiar occurrence in all fields of athletics. Most first year players are asked to carry equipment, by lunches, and/or perform other task by veteran players. It’s tradition. An NFL right of passage. That’s why so many people can’t understand why Bryant has a problem carrying Williams’ shoulder pads.
I think Dez Bryant being hazed by Roy Williams is intriguing. First of all it’s Roy Williams. He hasn’t been elite since middle school intermural. It’s hard to take a demand from someone when you’re in direct competition with them. Not to mention that he’s overpaid and can’t play. I bet if Jerry Rice would have told him to pick up the pads, he would have done it. If I was Dez Bryant I would have said, “Dude, you know you’re Roy Williams, right? I’m about to take your job in like two days, and you’re asking me to pick up your pads? How about I do you one better? After I take your job, I’ll pick up a job application for you. I heard UPS is hiring, and they need someone to drop packages.”
The other thing that crossed my mind when I first heard of this story was…hasn’t Dez Bryant been hazed enough? If the purpose of hazing is paying your dues, I think he’s done enough. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have to pick up pads (Because he should, just not a player you’re competing against. Maybe pick up Tony Romo’s or Wade Phillips’ pads), but he has definitely earned his rookie stripes. He was denied an opportunity to play his senior year of college, took less money to get into training camp, and in a pre-draft interview he was asked if his mother was a prostitute. Dude has gotten raked for the last year in the name of football. So Dez should ask Roy, “If you go through what I went though, then I’ll carry your pads…What…you’re willing to go through it…Well, is your mother a prostitute?”
Comedian (Maybe a writer)