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“Hey New York I Thought Everyone Wanted To Play There…You Should Have Told Cliff Lee”

14 Dec

Cliff Lee Stuns New York

Let’s begin…

“Oh Cliff, thanks for giving me a knife to stick in the side of New York’s delusion.” When you talk to a New York sports fan they have a way about them (I would call it swagger, but their confidence is based on being something they’re not). Everybody says, “New York always gets there man.” That’s all I ever hear. Well somebody should have told Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee (I’m still waiting on LeBron James to show up. “You promised him to me. Somebody get Isaiah Thomas on the phone.”). Both of them spurned New York this summer for another franchise.

I have to give Cliff Lee credit. He used two teams as pawns in order to get what he really wanted.

  1. A Chance to be competitive every year
  2. Pitching in the National League
  3. No Pressure

I can’t wait to watch the press conference. I’m expecting him to show up with Don King and Nick Saban. Cliff Lee will step to the microphone and say, “These are two of my three best friends. Shout out to Kanye West, he couldn’t make it. Nick told me not to talk too much. So, I’m happy to be a Philly and let’s go Heat.”

I’m not going to completely dump on New York, because they did sign one big free agent “number 2, Derek Jeter (pronounced Jee-tah), number 2″ Oh yeah, and good luck signing Andy Pettitte. I think the city on New York should put some money together, and buy C.C. Sabathiaa back brace. He’s going to be sore carrying that pitching staff.

The truth about New York is no one wants to play there. That’s why they have to over pay superstars. If it were true that everyone wanted to play in New York, the Knicks and Mets would be contenders every year. A majority of athletes and people don’t want to live in cold weather. In order to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. You have to entice them. That is why the Yankees are the best franchise in baseball. They’re willing to pay you to be uncomfortable (Boston is also willing to do it, because the Yankees have forced them to do it). However if all things are equal…there are a lot of people lining up to take their talents to South Beach. That is why New York sports fans are delusional. They have one friend that’s good looking but, they all walk around like they’re hottest girl in the club. When in actuality, if your friend isn’t with you? You should be at a truck looking for change.

In this last paragraph I’m going to grab the Yankee fans off the Brooklyn Bridge (It will probably be a while before you had the chance to jump, because you have all those Mets’ fans in front of you). The Red Sox or the Yankees will represent the American League in the World Series (I give the nod to Boston because they have better pitching but its close). They have the best 2nd baseman in baseball (Robinson Cano) and a 1st baseman (Mark Teixeira) in the top three. And they also have tons of money. So, they’ll be okay.

Now excuse me while I figure out who the Cleveland Indians are going to bring in.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Baseball

 

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