The Cleveland Cavaliers Send Miami’s Talents Back To South Beach

30 Mar

Cavalier fans say, "Get Out!"

Let’s begin…

The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat last night.

Now I know it’s just one win for a team that is terrible. A team in the Cavaliers that have no chance at the playoff this year, and probably even next year. With that being said, do you think that’s going to stop me from overeating? This post is for Cleveland fans that have been slowly slitting their wrist for the last 3 months. If you’re not a Cavs fan you may want to sit this post out, but thank you for clicking it, because I still get the credit for the hit. I am a Cleveland fan, and ya boy is about to represent.

    The Cavs played nasty last night. They fouled hard and didn’t back down when challenged by Miami (thank you Ryan Hollins for not backing down the Dwyane Wade. You are now my twitter avatar, “You’re Welcome!”). They gave them what I like to call, the Zaza to Garnett treatment. I loved every second of it. The only thing that could have made last night better was post-game tears.

Now I think the Cavaliers should build on this, and become a tough team. The Cavalier organization should make a conscious effort to change their image. They can shed the frontrunner image, and embrace toughness as their mantra. Cleveland like other Midwest cities is tough. It’s full of blue collar, grind it out people. So, why not put a team out on the floor that represents your city. It just seems practical, even the owner is a tough crazy man. As a matter of fact Dan Gilbert should spark the campaign with a letter on the Cavaliers website, “Anyone down for a little Comic Sans?”

As for the Miami Heat, this game was probably an admiration. They are better than the Cavs. However, it was interesting to see their response in a playoff like atmosphere. They seemed disinterested, and a little caught off guard. If I were a Heat fan I would be concerned, because this is another game where Miami got punched and didn’t respond.

Miami is supposed to be gearing up for the playoffs. They should be firing on all cylinders by now, poised to make a title run. However they have yet to solve the problem that has been hanging over them this entire season. They still aren’t executing in the half court consistently.

Playoff basketball is all about half court execution (Unless you’re playing the Dallas Mavericks in 2007). Teams that rely on the fast break don’t win in the playoffs (Please see Mike D’Antoni’s playoff record). So as the playoffs approach Miami has to get their game on point.

With that being said, the Cavs win! It’s a beautiful day in Cleveland. They have officially broken up with their ex-girlfriend. She may have left for someone better, but they have the car and the house. There is only one way to sum up the way the city of Cleveland feels today, “The world is better now because the Heat is losing.” (Courtesy of Dwyane Wade).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

1 Comment

Posted by on March 30, 2011 in Basketball, Uncategorized


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One response to “The Cleveland Cavaliers Send Miami’s Talents Back To South Beach

  1. Kyle K. Williams

    April 4, 2011 at 11:26 am

    Ummmm. With you until you said Cleveland has the car and the house. Ummmmmmmm, No. They don’t.

    They’re just the bitter boyfriend who is awkwardly, but rightfully still defined by the girl they poured their whole life into for 6 years. They alienated their friends, even their good wits, and (unlike the Nuggets) tried to “tough it out,” when they should’ve been cutting and running.

    So jaded by “witnessing,” that they couldn’t even see that their main squeeze would/could turn into the b*tch she’s become. And just like that guy, their stuck. Not with a car, or a house, but out in the nude. Covering their manhood. Hoping, desperately praying it ain’t so, that she decides to come back. Then he thinks, and maybe if he plays it nice enough, she will. She’ll feel bad for him and come back.


    Nope she keeps tweeting, and boasts of her new boyfriend and how he’s the new “captain of [her] ship.”

    So when she comes back to town the second time, still naked, still homeless, but now pissed off, and full of pride in the “half-rate” sloppy seconds he’s been forced to put on the court, the Cavs wait for the perfect time, and right when the ex-girl and her team were looking, they proudly show off all they got left.

    Stick their chin out, unmask their manhood, and give the girl the finger, and reel in the reaction. A 23 point lead and ONLY double-digit win.

    No car, no house, on the contrairy. On all accounts stating, we ain’t got much. A team full of replacement players, a coach dissappointed coach, a hobbling PG with a WR number, and a junkie for our announcer.

    No house, no car, and no South Beach, but we got something you don’t got . . .

    . . . (yeah ummm Idk what that is. Manhood, fans (that hate you?), season ticket holders we won’t give refunds???, idk. oh yeah . . . )

    A garage! . . . That your friends CAN’T get into. Ha!


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