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Category Archives: Pop-Culture

TheKortneyShanePillar Is Going Away. It Was Just Time


Let’s begin…

The Kortney Pillar is moving. Where you ask, to my own website which will be officially launching next week (you can see it now here). That’s right you’re boy is taking ownership of his own content.

Now nothing is going to change. You’re going to get the same content: A comedic approach to Sports and Pop-Culture.

I will no longer writing my blog on my wordpress site. I won’t be shutting it down, but it will no longer be updated. Now if you want to continue getting my content just go to, www.kortneyshanewilliams.com/thekortneyshanepillar Go there now.

You can also get the RSS feed here: http://kortneyshanewilliams.com/thekortneyshanepillar/?feed=rss

Thanks for supporting my content. Spread the word. I will see you’ll there.

The Drink Is Always Purple

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.kortneyshanewilliams.com

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

www.kortneyshanewilliams.com/thekortneyshanepillar

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Jersey Shore: “Ronnie The G.O.A.T.


 

Ronnie Needs A Book Deal

Let’s begin…

    I have been watching Jersey Shore since the exception of the program on MTV. Originally the Jersey Shore was highlighted on an episode of MTV’s show True Life I’m A Jersey Shore Girl, in 2004. In 2009 MTV casted it as its own reality show, and formed what is now known as Jersey Shore (by the way what took them so long, and why am I so proud to know this information). It didn’t take long to figure out the show was a keeper, and it took even less time to figure out that Ronnie had the potential to be the greatest reality star of all time. He has everything it takes: mood swings, chemical imbalance, binge drinking, and infidelity. In the business we call that, the total package. Now I want more.

    Can someone please sign Ronnie to a book deal? I want to know this guy’s secrets. I have never seen someone repeatedly cheat on his girlfriend, somehow justify it, and convince the woman to apologize to him. This kind of talent is once in a lifetime. He is a franchise player in the making, and soon to be a Hall of Famer. As a matter of fact if Infidelity had a hall of Fame, Ronnie would be the guy shaking inductees’ hands, welcoming them in.

    Now if we could somehow get Ronnie a book deal. He could sell some of his best moves to the general public. It would be a real life version of, “Breakin’ all the Rules” (terrible movie, but watch it so you can laugh at this joke). Now I’m not interested in practicing Ronnie moves. Ya boy has his own game, and it works great. Plus there’s a good chance Ronnie’s secrets involve some weird amount of steroids and street pills. So, I think I’ll pass. However, I would like to read the book. That book would be essay style porn. A car accident you have to see. A grease fire (add more ridiculous analogies in your head).

    So, let’s start a campaign. Maybe I should create a Facebook Page? Hold on, already did that. Support the cause here, “Ronnie Needs A Book”. Now spread the word.

Ps. I can’t believe I wrote this post. Sad thing is, I fist pumped throughout the whole thing, while wearing an affliction tee shirt. “Douche”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2011 in Pop-Culture

 

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Uncle Toms And The Fab Five


The Fab Five

Let’s begin…

    ESPN has added the Fab Five to their critically acclaimed 30 for 30 series. The documentary about the 1991 -1993 Michigan Wolverines basketball team highlights the journeys of Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King, Chris Webber, and Ray Jackson. Those players were freshmen in 1991, and would later be better known as the Fab Five. They introduced rap music and baggy shorts to America on one of the biggest stages in sports.

    The documentary was produced by Fab Five member and ESPN basketball analyst Jalen Rose. It didn’t take long for Rose to become the star of the documentary (I don’t blame him. If you give me control of anything I’m taking over. You could make me the co-producer of a cooking show, and within two segments I’m doing my comedy act). He displayed ultimate transparency when taking about his childhood, Michigan, and decisions he made.

    When talking about his teams’ battles against Duke. Rose stated that he hated Duke, and “… felt like they only recruited black players that were Uncle Toms” (can we retire the slur Uncle Tom? I mean as Americans we have a better imagination than that. Let’s hold a poll and select a new term. I would argue that any slur made popular before 1980 should be retired Barry Sanders style). He believed they only recruited black players that came from well to do families. This made him resent Duke University and the black players that played for them. Since the airing of the documentary these comments have sparked a controversy, and even prompted Grant Hill to make a response.

    Now I’m not going to regurgitate the angle that has been stressed all week, or condemn Rose for his comments. It was how he felt at the time. When someone decides to talk about their past, you want to hear the truth. Unless you’re asking your wife how many people she had sex with. You want to lie, and not say 15 (15 is way too many).

    I want to talk about what this comment exposes. First it exposes the resentment that surrounds Duke and the type of players they recruit. To be honest they do recruit a certain kind of black player that has been successful for their university (I wrote about this: Black at Duke, or Maybe Not). I don’t blame them for that. That’s their propagative. In addition since 1990 they’ve led all schools in National Championships, and have consistently put players in the NBA. So, it works for them. However, despite their resume, they’re still seen in the black community as a school that only recruits white players. It’s the same feeling that surrounded the Boston Celtics until the mid-90s.

Rose’s Uncle Tom comment also exposed a dirty little secret well known throughout the black community. It’s a class issues that highlights the idea that well off black people. Somehow become jaded by their reality, and lose their black identity. Now I would argue that this isn’t true. If you are black in America, you know you’re black! At the same time someone could argue that there are indeed black people that disconnect from their identity. I would agree with that statement. However, there are people among all races that disconnect from their identity. Those people are the exception. Let’s not make the exception the rule.

    No one should see black individual as a, “sell out” because they want to further the black community, by educating themselves and promoting the idea of a nuclear family. At the same time people in a single parent home, that aren’t as well off, shouldn’t be look down upon as not worthy. Everyone’s black experience is of equal value to the black community and society as a whole. The real sell outs are individuals that don’t take care of their responsibilities. People that walk out on their kids, rob people, kill people, and/or spend their life in and out of prison. Those are the individuals that should be resented throughout the all of society. My man Chris Rock spoke to this brilliantly during his comedy special Bring The Pain, in a segment better known as, “Niggas vs. Black People.”    

    I hope the issue of class in the black community ceases to become an issue. Instead let’s focus on the true sell outs.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

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The Academy Awards Brought To You By Kortney Shane


 

Let’s begin…

The Academy Awards are tomorrow night. So it’s only right that I issue my movie awards for the year. Now I have to let you know that I have my own special categories and qualifications. First of all any movie that I have seen this year qualifies. It doesn’t matter if the movie came out 10 years ago. This mean that Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo could be my movie of the year. Also I have no problem saying that a movie sucks. If it was bad it was bad. So, I will break it down, and try to keep it simple.

*Please note that I do not plan on seeing Black Swan. I have seen enough reviews of this film to know it will make me vomit at some point in time. I put the over/under at 15 minutes.

Movies of the Year

The King’s Speech

    This movie was dope. I was skeptical going in, but it surpassed all expectations.

The Fighter

I enjoyed it, but come on. We’ve seen this genre of sports movie in all its possible forms. The movie didn’t surprise me, but it was worth seeing.

Inception

Even though I still can’t figure it out. I’m pretty sure something cool happened. Plus I enjoyed the way they made the city block turn upside down. The moral of this story is if

The Town

    This is a great movie. Ben Affleck did a good job directing.

The Social Network

    This was my favorite movie this year

Gran Torino

I know it came out a while ago, but notice my qualifications.

“What Was That” Movies of the Year

Alice in Wonderland

    I thought this would be worth my time, but I was sadly mistaken. This thing just didn’t work.

Piranha 3D

This is the poster child for when 3D goes too far. It reminds of 1997 when skater jeans were in style, and everyone was wearing Jincos. We have to get this #D thing under control.

The Expendables

I don’t know if you wasted your time watching this movie, but I sure didn’t. I saw enough in the previews to make me pass on this. I would venture to say, that theres not enough steroids in Hollywood to lure me into watching a Sylvester Stallone action film.

Grown Ups

    I think this movie was supposed to me laugh, but it confused me. I’m still trying to figure what was going on.

MacGruber

    This should have never happened.

Actors of the year

Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

    This dude is my pick for performer of the year. He was incredible.

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

    He killed it.

Don Cheadle, Brooklyn’s Finest

    Not a good movie, but a great performance

Jeremy Renner, The Town

    It’s official; dude is a beast when he’s in his element. Renner takes over any time he’s on the screen.

Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino

    I’m not an Eastwood fan, but this was dope. I would have put him as actor of the year, but something tells me he won’t qualify.

Christian Bale, The Fighter

    He was great in the movie. I just hope he was acting.

Actresses of the year

Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

    She was great.

Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road

    I finally finished this movie, and she was great.

Melissa Leo, The Fighter

    She was great at portraying the classic overbearing parent, that can’t get her life together.

Amy Adams, The Fighter

She sold the idea of the hard edge woman from Boston. I even felt like I was in Boston. (What did I just say? Truth is I’ve never been to Boston. I just assume it looks like what I’ve seen on T.V.)

Natalie Portman, Black Swan

    I’m going to take everyone’s word for it, and assume she was great. I do not plan on watching this film. In case you forgot why, pleas reread the first paragraph.

“Please Stop Making this!” Movies of the Year

For Colored Girls

    I like Tyler Perry’s “Black men a terrible” movies just as much as the next black guy, but I think this is enough.

Jackass 3D

    It was funny at first. Now the desperation to stay relevant is saddening.

Little Fockers and Shrek 4    

    I’m knocking both of these out with one shot. Please stop. If not for me, do it for the kids.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010

I really want to like this movie, but there was nothing ne. I think it’s reached its limit, unless somehow they could set up a fight between Jason and Freddie. That would be something worth seeing.

 

I not sure who win what, but if I were you I would bet on my predictions. The good about being me is, I’m not you, and I don’t trust me.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2011 in Pop-Culture

 

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The 2011 Grammy Awards According To The Truth


Let’s begin…

    So the Grammy Awards are tonight, and under normal conditions I would be happy. However this year’s lineup is terrible. Both the award nominations and performances this year are underwhelming. It has been reported that Dr. Dre will be performing. Really? Now I love the Doctor just as much as the next guy that grew up in the suburbs. I would just rather remember him as the guy with the Jerry Curl that didn’t like the police. I don’t want see Dre at 46 wearing skinny and a Kangol, trying to reinforce his gangster. Speaking of Dr. Dre…can we please stop with the Eminem charade, because it’s starting to get sad? There is no way “Recovery” should be nominated for Album of the year. Now I understand that they want a representative from Hip Hop in the Album of the year category. I just think that nomination should have gone to Jay-Z for “The Blueprint 3.”

    I will concede that there weren’t a lot of great albums that came out, but do you think that’s going to stop me from creating a list of this year’s must have music (the answer is absolutely not in case you didn’t catch my self-importance).

These are the top albums this year in no particular order (I don’t highlight singles, because I think they can be a misrepresentation of what an album truly is).

Sir Lucious Left Foot…The Son of Chico Dusty

Big Boi

This album reminds me of all the reasons why I’m still pissed off that OutKast broke up. Big Boi brings his regular style

  

  

How I Got Over

The Roots 

I’m a big fan of the Roots, so my opinion can be considered bias. However, I don’t know how anyone could argue with the merit of this album. One would think that the quality of their work would slip, because of their job as a house band for Jimmy Fallon, but this isn’t the case.

  

  

The Blueprint 3

Jay-Z

This is just another notch in Jay-Z’s belt. At this point his career is unexplainable. Dude is still getting better. At this pace I’m expecting at least two more retirements, and timeless classics.

  

  

Need You Now        

           

Lady Antebellum

It may surprise you that I have this on my list, but I have to respect the game. Not only is this album in my library, but it’s in rotation.

 

 

Thank Me Later

Drake

As much as it pains me say, this album is hot. I have this bet with my brother that Drake is all hype, and my bet isn’t looking good (We also have a side bet with Lady GaGa that still have a lot of faith in). I don’t know what he’s doing, but dude is delivering the mail.

 

Battle Studies

John Mayer

I totally understand why some people can’t stand this guy’s music. At times I even agree. This is not the case with this album. I believe it’s his most versatile album to date.

Hope you enjoyed my show.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2011 in Pop-Culture

 

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Super Bowl XLV: Commercials, Lil Wayne, Black Eyed Peas, and Christina Aguilar


The Black Eyed Peas Gave Us A Halftime Show To Remember

GreenLet’s begin…

    I want to break down the Super Bowl without talking about the game. Why you ask…because I have heard enough Super Bowl analysis to last a lifetime. If another person tries to explain to me why the Packers won, I’m going to vomit (I also don’t want to talk about the game, because I lost some money on a bet). So I want to start by addressing the commercials. Now I’m not breaking new ground by saying those were some of the most under whelming commercials, in recent Super Bowl history. With that being said my two favorite commercials were: Doritos House Sitting and Budweiser Wild West (click the links to see them). That Wild West commercial was the funniest commercial all night. Something about Cowboys singing Elton John makes me smile. The weirdest thing about that commercial is, if Elton John were around during that time, they wouldn’t have allowed him in that bar (awkward).

   When did Lil Wayne get out of jail? Nobody told me (I almost forgot that he went to jail since dude drops a new album every Tuesday). I found out rather shockingly. I woke up Friday morning after having my usual cup of coffee, turned on ESPN, and there was Lil Wayne…in a green sweater vest, answering super bowl questions. I was like, “What” You’re not even going to acknowledge his recent vacation. I’m not the best interviewer, but I think you have to start by asking him about prison. Maybe see if he kicked his old habits, just say, “Hey Dwayne, do you still enjoy the purple drank? …you’re not going to answer? Well if you want us to promote this terrible rap song, you need to talk about your time in the clink…speaking of that rap song. What made you think green and yellow remix was a good idea? You can’t say it was because of the original song, because that version sucked too. So, the faster we get done talking about the purple drank, the fast we can get answers about that terrible song.” By the way, when did Lil Wayne become a Packers fan? I thought he was from New Orleans. “Those rappers will do anything to stay relevant (I said that in my old man from Tuscaloosa Alabama voice).”

     Next up, The Black Eyed Peas. What happened? I know the microphone had problems, but explain the sound of their voices. I was under the allusion that they could sing. Apparently I was wrong. They must use the same studio equipment that Ashlee Simpson uses (Shout out to Ashlee. Let me know when the new album is dropping, because I’m eager to find something to confusing). Having the Black Eyed Peas perform during the Super Bowl halftime show was a bad decision. Not because of the fact that they may or may not be able to sing (I’m going to go with can’t sing). The problem is they only have 3 good songs. Once they hit their limit they kind of looked at each other as to say, “Now how are we going to fill the last 15 minutes? We should have added a second impromptu verse to that last song. I have an idea, why don’t we stop the music, and announce to everyone that it’s time to take a bathroom break.”

    Now I have to address Christina Aguilar. “Oh Christina!?” I think Morgan Freeman said it best when trying to lobby for the United States to get the World Cup, “I’m sorry I missed a page.” Aguilar should adopt that quote as her Super Bowl manifesto. I’ve watched her version of the National Anthem about 6 times, and I still can’t figure it out. I even went as far as falling asleep to the audio. What was she trying to accomplish? I thought maybe she forgot the words, but she looked so confident. At one point I started questioning myself. “Maybe I have the words wrong. Let me Google it…no I stand corrected. She is making stuff up.” Now that I have had time to reflect, I think we should adopt Christina Aguilar’s version of the National Anthem as the official remix. We could get Timbaland to produce it while Christina does the vocals. Maybe we could even talk those cowboys from the Budweiser commercial into to the background. The only problem is we have to get Christina to remember the words.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2011 in Football, Pop-Culture

 

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How The Jersey Shore Saved The Summer


The Jersey Shore Didn't Disappoint

Let’s begin…

Did Jersey Shore do its job or did Jersey Shore do its job. I love sports which is the reason I struggle to find anything worth watching on TV during the summer, because baseball is the only thing on T.V. There is nothing I want to see less than regular season baseball (actually I would watch baseball over that Frank Caliendo Show. That thing was garbage (pronounced gar-bah-gg)).

So I was leaning on Snookie and the gang (gang?…why’d I say that) to get me through the summer, and they came through. Every episode of season 2 of Jersey Shore was great. They should get the MVP for compelling Television. The show has everything you want: men working too hard to impress women, women that don’t care about image, steroids, breast implants, transvestites, and tee-shirt time. If I was ask to script a more exciting show. I’d ask Pauly D to direct it.

Takeaways

  • Everyone on this show now understands they are actors. It’s no longer a reality show. This is a sitcom. The Situation is as much of a character as Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men, and maybe real like.
  • Ronnie and Sammie Sweetheart are a great couple for T.V. They never disappoint to entertain you with everything you don’t want in a spouse. They have a future in entertainment as long as Ronnie takes it easy on the juice.
  • If you’re not The Situation, Ronnie, or Sammie save you money. Your chance in entertainment is about as P. Diddy making a band that works out.

 

This show has possibly one more season before it falls flat. I just hope they air it next summer.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on November 2, 2010 in Pop-Culture

 

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