Category Archives: NFL

The Public Has The Super Bowl Twisted

Will The Packers Win Super Bowl XLV?

Let’s begin…

I’m not sure what’s going on, but hopefully I missed something. I can’t figure out why everyone is picking the Green Bay Packers to win the super bowl. I hope people know that they are playing the Pittsburg Steelers. In case you forgot let me refresh your memory.

The 2010-2011 Pittsburg Steelers won the toughest division in football this season. They beat the 2nd and 3rd best teams in the NFL this year to get to the super bowl (Baltimore Ravens and New York Jets respectively). The Steelers also have Ben Roethlisberger, who by percentage is the second winningest quarterback in NFL playoff history (By the way dude is wearing two rings, so don’t try hitting me with the, “Well Aaron Rodgers only lost one playoff game.” No Ben is on a different level, so relax and try not to cry on your Packers Jersey). This is the team everyone is picking against. Are you kidding me?

I’m picking the Pittsburg Steelers to win the super bowl (in case you haven’t pick up on that by own), and the more people talk about how great the Packers are, the more confident I feel. It may seem like my opinion is based solely on the Steelers, but it actually based more on Green Bay.

Take a look at the teams the Packers beat to get in to the super bowl. The Philadelphia Eagles, with a terrible defense and a quarterback that was in prison 2 years ago, the Atlanta Falcons, who were the biggest fraud in the NFL, and the Chicago Bears, who ended up have to play their 3rd string rookie quarterback (By the way Chicago should have won that game). Now I will acknowledge that Aaron Rodgers is a good quarterback and maybe one day he will be great. However that’s one guy. Now I will give you Greg Jennings stretching the field and Charles Woodson locking down the corner (I love me some Charles Woodson). Those are strong points for the Packers, and probably an advantage. Green Bay’s problem will surface the first time James Harrison hits A.R.

Aaron Rodgers’ biggest flaw is his health. He was on fire during the NFC Championship, until Julius Peppers hit him. After the hit A.R. was not the same. That’s the blueprint to easily beating the Packers, and Pittsburg will execute it.

At the end of the day the Pittsburg Steelers are better on defense and at coach (I didn’t breakdown coaches because come on, that’s Mike Tomlin on the sideline. Even Packers fans think Pittsburg has better coaching). I have more confidence in the Pittsburg Steelers talent to show up in a big spot.

Steelers win, 28 – 19

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

Leave a comment

Posted by on February 3, 2011 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

NFL Playoffs…Frauds Exposed

Will Sanchez Have To Run For His Life Against The Steelers?

Let’s begin…

I’m going to start with the NFC because when I think Fraud I think NFC

The biggest fraud in the NFL this year was the Atlanta Falcons. I never believed they were good. People keep telling me how great Matt Ryan is, but I’m not seeing it. Before I give someone that kind of credit you have beat somebody (I say that like Matt Ryan cares what I think). He is a good quarterback, but he’s not elite. So please stop comparing him to my man A.R. (That’s short for Aaron Rodgers. I talk to Aaron about the nickname and he’s cool with it).

Next we have the Seattle Seahawks. I’m not going to call them a fraud, because that word doesn’t describe them. I don’t believe anybody thought they were a good team. They over achieved this year. So, congratulations to the Seahawks, and enjoy the 25th pick.

Time for the AFC

The New England Patriots fooled us again. Sunday was Super bowl XLII all over again. The build up to the game was eerily similar. In one corner you had the Patriots led by Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. They were hitting on all cylinders leading up to the game. They were beating teams convincingly, and it looked like it was time to size them up for another super bowl ring. On the other side you had the New York Jets with a young quarterback, and a great defense. They had bravado, and the confidence of a team that felt like they were better. I couldn’t believe how much they reminded me of the 2007 New York Giants (I was expecting Plaxico Burress to come out of the locker room and start catching touchdowns from Mark Sanchez). The bottom line is the Jets have better players. The only weakness is at quarterback. (Hey Pats’ fans you may want to skip ahead to the next section, and act like the rest of this paragraph doesn’t exist). In a couple years Mark Sanchez will become a better player, and the Jets will dominate the AFC East. Let’s see if they can squeeze a super bowl out of this.

I have nothing critical to say about the Baltimore Ravens. That was a great football game. The Ravens vs. Steelers is a perfect display of what it takes to win. Baltimore did have a chance to win the game, but came up short. If I had to give Baltimore advice I would say, “Cut T.J. Houshmandzadeh, because he has no hands, and hire Trent Dilfer as a quarterback coach.”

NFC Championship

Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears

I have no idea who will win this game. Every 15 minutes I change my mind. So, I have concluded there are a couple things you want to watch. If the Bears are able to get pressure without blitzing the Packers offense is in trouble. On the other hand the Packers defense is no slouch. Jay Cutler must protect the ball, and manage the game. If he does that, the Bears will win this game with their special teams’ play.

AFC Championship

New York Jets vs. Pittsburg Steelers

As much as I want to say this game is close, I just can’t buy in. The Jets are a good football team. They play great on defense, but are just okay on offense and special teams. It hasn’t been a problem yet but against the Steelers the youth of Mark Sanchez will be exposed. Just think about the teams the Jets beat, the Colts and the Patriots. Both of those teams are putrid on defense. This worked to the advantage of New York, because Sanchez was allowed to adjust to emotion and speed of the game, during his first couple of series. Against the Steelers they won’t have that luxury. From the first snap to the last, Jerome Harrison will be trying to take his head off. I think Sanchez will have a bad game, and ultimately spell the end for the New York Jets.

I’m picking the Pittsburg Steelers and the Chicago Bears to play in the super bowl. Now let’s watch the game, and laugh when I’m wrong.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer


Posted by on January 18, 2011 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

NFL Wild Card Weekend, “Can You Believe it?”

Manning is a flash from the past

Let’s begin…

    Can you believe it? The Seattle Seahawks won this weekend. I was astonished, and immediately I thought the Saints were on the take. I want to pull Sean Payton aside and ask him to empty his pockets. He would probably start babbling before admitting that Pete Carroll had it direct deposited into his off shore account. The Seahawks did come to play. Their defense was good, the offense was serviceable, and Marshawn Lynch was a beast…on one play. That run by Marshawn Lynch was nasty. It reminded me of the running game in NFL Quarterback Club ’98. Every stiff arm you threw ended with the defender on their back (If you don’t know what that looks like. You Tube that Lynch run again). So big ups to Seattle. My dream is one step closer.

    This weekend was what everyone expected it would be (except for that Seahawks win/Payton payoff). The Ravens rolled while the Jets and Colts played a close game. As expected the most entertaining game this weekend was the Michael Vick Eagles vs. the Aaron Rodgers Packers. Going into the game I thought it was a toss-up. I picked the Philadelphia Eagles because they were the home team, but I had no confidence in the pick. Rogers and the Green Packers ultimately won the game after Vick through an interception.

Now that Aaron Rodgers has won a playoff game. I hear people saying he’s arrived as an elite quarterback in the NFL. Umm maybe it’s just me, but I thought he’s been elite for the last 2 years. You can’t name 5 quarterbacks better than Aaron Rodgers. Since Rodgers has been the fulltime starter for the Packers his touchdown to interception rating is 86 – 31 (respectively) and his quarterback rating is 98. So if it took until Sunday night to figure out dude is elite, you’re just not paying attention.

I want to close this out borrowing from Dennis Green, “He is who I think he is.” I’m talking about the great Peyton Manning. Can we officially stop with the greatest quarterback of all time comparisons? I’m not pinning this solely on the game yesterday, because Manning didn’t get any help yesterday. Even his coach made it tough on him. (When Jim Caldwell called that time out with time running out on the Jets game winning drive Peyton look at him with a face that said, “What are you doing!?” Caldwell look back with an expression that said, “Hey, don’t you see the Jets aren’t ready. I want to make sure they have enough time. I thought we both decided to choke this game away. I just want to do my part.”) The fact is over Manning’s career he’s been the greatest regular season quarterback of all time, and a playoff choker. The difference between him and Dan Marino is somehow Rex Grossman got to a Super bowl which he gave to Peyton Manning. “So if you want to crown him, crown him. But he is who I think he is.”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

1 Comment

Posted by on January 10, 2011 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It Would Be Great, If The Seattle Seahawks Won The Super Bowl

What If The Seattle Seahawks Win It All?

Let’s begin…

Now I’m not a fan of the Seattle Seahawks. I just think it would be great if the Seattle Seahawks won the super bowl, because they are terrible. Think about all the great story lines. Imagine a team winning a super bowl with a quarterback controversy (I can’t figure out how you have a quarterback controversy when the both stink. Just pick a pile of feces to play with), a losing record, and a city that doesn’t even want them in the playoffs (If the Seahawks lost Sunday they would have had the number 8 pick in the draft. They would have been able to get a quarterback, and cut one of those pile of feces). What would Roger Goodell say when he presents Pete Carroll with the Vince Lombardi trophy, “Congratulations to the Seahawks. I’m sure you all are just as shocked as everyone else. As soon as the FBI finishes investigating those Brett Favre photos, I’ll have them figure out who you paid to get here. So take this trophy and don’t tell anyone about this.”

The greatest thing that would come out of the Seahawks winning the super bowl is the silencing of the football purist that live to spout off principles about “what it takes to win.” “You have to have defense. Defense wins championships.” “No it’s not defense. You need great coaching.” If Seattle were to win those purist would blow their head off and analyst that believed the same way would have to find a new gimmick. I know ESPN is sweating, because have of their analyst are employed by them.

With all that being said the Seattle Seahawks have no shot. I mean none. There’s a better chance that Michael Vick will organize the 2010 Westminster dog show.

This is just a personal fantasy of mine. I know it won’t happen, but I will be routing for turmoil.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer


Posted by on January 4, 2011 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Emergency Post: “Make Way For Bill Cowher!”

Let’s begin…

Can we please stop with the Bill Cowher mania! He’s a good coach. I repeat, a good coach. He’s not exceptional by any stretch of the imagination. So I can’t figure why everybody is treating him like Vince Lombardi. Cowher is not going to turn around anybody’s franchise. He can get you over the hump if your team is ready to win, but what is that saying. If that’s what you’re looking for save 20 million dollars and higher Barry Switzer (In my opinion Switzer is a better coach than Cowher. That’s right I said it. Now give me time to put the cap back on this banana cognac).

Bill Cowher is going to get a head coaching job (probably in Miami) and he’s going to be over paid (just like 20 other NFL coaches). This doesn’t make him a bad hire (it would be a good hire for certain teams), it just makes him another NFL coach. So let’s stop treating him like the Dali Lama. This is an above average NFL coach trying to get a job. Treat him like Brian Billick, John Gruden, Jason Garrett, Leslie Frazier, and Urban Meyer (That’s right I said it).

Now let me get back to doing something important.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

Leave a comment

Posted by on December 23, 2010 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The NFL…Boring?

The NFL and Celebrations Should Go Hand and Hand

Let’s begin…

    I know I’m not supposed to say this, but overall the NFL hasn’t been exciting this year. I know people will argue with me and regurgitate the rhetoric of NFL analyst. You’ll try to tell me that the NFL is must watch television, but I don’t see it. Maybe you’re living in the past when the NFL had personalities and fun. However in 2006, fun began to be stripped from the NFL by commissioner Goodell.

In 2006 Roger Goodell was chosen to become commissioner of the NFL. He wasted no time in deciding to make Public Enemy Number One “fun”.

Now I don’t blame him for focusing on behavior in the NFL, because the players were out of their minds. Bill Belichick was stealing opponents’ signals, Pacman Joneswas starting gun fights at strip clubs, and Mike Vick was running a dogfighting ring. So there was a need for someone to come in and establish order. The problem is Goodell wanted to be a first ballot Hall of Fame kill joy (kill joy? Why did I write that? I couldn’t think of anything better), so he couldn’t stop there. Next on the agenda was to ban celebrations.

I have never heard a valid argument as why celebrations should be banned. People talk about the integrity of the game and respecting your opponent. What’s respectful about giving a 20 year old man paralysis? I know the goal is to distract me, but I’ve seen the NFL integrity, and it’s brought to you by Geico. So spare me the Vince Lombardi speech. I think banning celebrations stripped the NFL of the personality that brought people like me to the game. Think about Deion Sanders (who is the best athlete to ever play the game). He wouldn’t be able to step on the field without being fined.

Now I’m not saying the NFL doesn’t have a good product. As a matter of fact they have a great product, and there are still players I like to see. I like watching Michael Vick baffle defenses and Peyton Hillis run over linebackers. The problem is I don’t like watching Peyton Manning (I know I just blasphemed, but Manning is about as exciting as a M. Night Shyamalan film). Couple that with the television networks, which have made a conscious effort to force the Colts down my throat. And you have something that I’m not excited to watch.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

Leave a comment

Posted by on November 29, 2010 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Andy Reid Says, “Kevin Kolb, I Mean Michael Vick Is Our Quarterback

Michael Vick Is The Philadelphia Eagles' Starting Quarterback

Let’s begin…

    I thought the reason the Eagles traded Donovan McNabb was because they had a better quarterback. I didn’t know that the better quarterback was Michael Vick, and Kevin Kolb didn’t know either. When Andy Reid announced that Michael Vick would be the starting quarterback I was shocked. This is the same guy that said just 2 days earlier that Kolb was the starter and the future of the Philadelphia Eagles. I applauded Reid for reversing his decision. It’s obvious that at this time Vick is a better player, but it’s hard for a veteran head coach to swallow his pride publicly.

    Now that the burden is squarely on Vick’s shoulder, what will happen? I don’t know, but it will be must see T.V. There hasn’t been a quarterback as exciting as Michael Vick since…Mike Vick. Watching this guy play now brings back old memories. I think about that incredible touchdown runs and the way he won a playoff game in Lambeau Field. You also think about the guilty plea to bankrolling a dogfighting ring. You think about the prison time, and the rumors about him never playing again. Then you think about his return to the NFL, and how he was a third string quarterback. No one expected him to play significant time, but after a trade and an injury, Vick got his opportunity.

It’s very rare that someone takes time away from athletics, and upon returning regains their previous level of excellence. I think that Michael Vick has a great opportunity be a better quarterback than he was before. He has a favorable upcoming schedule, and the NFC East is not a great division this year. Whether he succeeds or crashes and burns I will be happy to watch. I just have one request, please don’t fight dogs! I don’t want the burden of defending that.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

Leave a comment

Posted by on September 25, 2010 in Football, NFL


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: