RSS

Tag Archives: Baseball

The Great Manny Ramirez, Juiced His Way Out Of the Hall of Fame?


Manny Is Still Great?

Let’s begin…

I don’t know if you’ve heard but Many Ramirez has decided to retire from baseball. When I heard the news I thought, “Manny is done, and he just doesn’t want to play anymore. Maybe he realizes that his skills have diminished to the point that he can no longer be elite.” Then a report was issued by ESPN.com that stated that Ramirez had been busted for performance enhancing drugs…again…for the second time, consecutively. I couldn’t believe that someone could be so careless. You know you’re going to get tested, and you’ve already been busted. So, you decide to do it again…what? Come on Manny.

If I could talk to Manny (who am I supposed to be, “If I could talk to Manny” I’m a Douche) I would want to know why? Is it because you were jealous of other players? Were you influenced by other great baseball players, or did you need it to become a great player?

Usually I believe that great players are not made hall of famers because of performance enhancing drugs. I mean these are great athletes, the best of the best. In addition to that no one can become a hall of famer on drugs? Then again maybe they can. I would argue that Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa, and Mark McGwire, were all made potential hall of Famers because of steroids. All you have to do is look at their numbers, and you can see the spike in their respective performances. However that’s not the case with Ramirez. His numbers never jumped or dipped erratically. This makes it tough to decipher when he started using steroids. Furthermore it allows me to believe that there’s a possibility he used them for his entire career.

I don’t eliminate anyone from the hall of fame for steroid use. The only reason I eliminate people is because you’re a scrub or you’re just not good enough (please see Jose Canseco, because he’s a good example of both scenarios). That’s why Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, and Roger Clemens are in my Hall of Fame. They are just great players. I considered Manny Ramirez to be in this category as well.

When it originally came out that Manny had taken steroids I wasn’t surprised. It had become so rampant in the baseball community that assumed everyone was taking them. So, I decided that I would judge players based on their career pre and post steroid era. This is where I have a problem with Ramirez being in the hall of fame. Manny has been busted during the steroid era, and post steroid era. So, I am led to believe that he took steroids throughout his entire career. Consequently this makes all of his numbers tainted.

As a Cleveland Indian fan, I would like to look over the transgressions of Manny Ramirez, but I can’t. He cheated the game. I can’t let him in the Hall of Fame. With that being said, Manny Ramirez will always hold a special place in my sports pantheon. I will remember him has an entertainer and great hitter, with once in a generation talent. I’m not going to remember the dreadlocks or the lost years in L.A. I’m going to remember the Manny Ramirez that led the Boston Red Sox to the World Series Championship. I will remember the guy that I first identified with a Cleveland Indians uniform. The Dominican kid with talent and a jerry curl, poking out of the bottom of his hat.

Oh yeah! That’s Manny being Manny.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

Advertisements
 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 8, 2011 in Baseball

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Barry Bonds and Greg Anderson, Best Friends For Life?


Let’s begin…

    The Barry Bonds perjury trial began this week. This is the trial to find out rather or not Bonds knowingly he took steroids. This is also known as, a complete waste of time. Barry knows he took steroids. I don’t even see how he could argue that he didn’t know. Come on Barry. You’re head doubled in size the minute you started taking the supposed flax seed oil, and if that didn’t get your attention. The acne and 73 homeruns should have tipped you off. I hate calling someone a liar without the facts (brace yourself, I’m about to call someone a liar), but I don’t see how Bonds couldn’t know.

    Now we can disagree on whether Barry knew he was taking steroids (I’m not sure why we would disagree). However, one thing that is a fact is that Greg Anderson (who was Bonds trainer) is the “Best Friend of All-Time.” This dude has middle school girls jealous of his loyalty. When they write B.F.F. on their Trapper Keeper (Are they still making those?), this is the person they hope to be.

    If you don’t know, Greg Anderson is a childhood friend of Barry Bonds. They played baseball together at a young age. While Bonds became one of the greatest players ever, Anderson had little to no success. After giving up his career as a baseball player, Anderson began working out at World Gym which just so happened to be a few blocks away from BALCO. How convenient is that? To have a steroid like crack house within walking distance from you’re gym. It’s hard to find those kinds of amenities now a day. Shoot, I’m happy to have a laundry mat 2 blocks from my house (FYI when looking for a place to live you need two things close by, 7-Eleven and a laundry mat). Now we can connect the dots from here. Anderson dabbles with steroids, later becomes Barry Bonds’ trainer, Bonds is pissed because scrubs like Mark McGwire are setting homerun records, and he ends up taking steroids himself as well. Now 762 homeruns later and about a yearlong regiment of Clearasil to clear up his acne, Bonds is on trial for lying to the grand jury for knowingly taking steroids. It would be easy to convict Bonds if the government could get Greg Anderson to testify. The problem is they can’t get him to testify.

    Greg Anderson will not testify against Barry Bonds. Since 2006 Anderson has been sentence to jail time 3 times for contempt of court, because he won’t testify in the Barry Bonds’ perjury trail. This makes no sense, because if he told the truth he wouldn’t have to worry about jail. I thought you were supposed to lie to stay out of jail. I’m confused. At the same time, maybe this is what good friends do. If that is true, I am the dirt bag of friendship. Compared to Anderson, my friendship is about as loyal as LeBron James in July. I’m not going to jail for a friend. I wouldn’t go to jail 3 times for my momma. As a matter of fact if she asks me to do something like that, I wouldn’t talk to her for a year. So, I salute Greg Anderson and his loyalty. He’s a better man than I am.

    Then again could Greg Anderson be the smartest guy in the room? Maybe Anderson is operating by the idea of keeping your friends close, and your enemies closer. Bonds could know something about him that could ruin his life.

Then again could it be possible that as childhood friends Greg and Barry made a pack?

“We’re never going to snitch on each other. We’re blood brothers and friends for life. Pass me the crayon and construction paper, so we can document our love…yeah. We’ll always be friends. As a matter of fact lets buy one of those overhype gold plated necklaces with the hearts separated in jagged fashion, that way no matter what happens we will remember each other. I got your back dog no matter what happens. If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I got your back, dog. If anything happened to me while I jumped out a window…and my hair caught on fire, I got your back, dog. If 15 years from now we get caught up in a Federal investigation we’re not going to say anything, because we have each other’s back dog. Picky swear…yeah! Now grab that syringe and the clear stuff.”

    

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
1 Comment

Posted by on March 26, 2011 in Baseball

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The NFL or the MLB, Who’s Number 1…I Know.


Let’s begin…

I’ve been watching baseball closely for the last 10 years. That’s one of the things I regret about the time I spent in New York. All they play is baseball games. They have their own Yankee Network. So, it’s 24 hours Yankees. It’s like B.E.T. in the 90’s when they kept showing Rap City reruns. The Yes Network still plays Mickey Mantle’s opening day game.

Something is happening in baseball. Since the post steroids era, great pitching and “The Athlete” has taken center stage. This is great for baseball. You can market athletes, because people envy what they can’t do, and great pictures make for appointment television. I think that if Major League Baseball markets it’s’ product correctly, it could once again become the number one sport in America once again. Now I know everyone is thinking, “How can they beat the NFL?” Alright just pay attention, grab some coffee, turn off the porn, and if you’re really weird turn off the hockey game.

These are a few of the reason why baseball could be number 1 again. Baseball has clear advantages over football. Baseball players don’t wear as much equipment (Helmet, Shoulder pads, etc.), so it’s easier to identify with the players. Fans can sit at home, and believe they can do it. As crazy as that sounds, we all know Bubba on the couch can’t hit a slider. Also, every individual baseball player has a larger impact on whether your team wins or loses. That’s not even close to being true in football. There’s no individual that can that can change a football game that much just ask Dan Marino. I do think it all comes down to showcasing your athletes, and for all the success of the NFL. They have not had a must see player since Deon Sanders, and even then they didn’t showcase him. Everybody is on Peyton Manning’s jock. People think he’s a great marketer, because pitches everything from Direct TV to condoms. However, he could never out sell Sanders. Manning could never drive a clothing line or sell his own shoes, because he’s not an athlete.

If baseball wants to be great again, they need to take a line out of the NBA’s marketing book. This is what baseball should do.

  1. Advertise big pitching matchups as head to head battles.
  2. Start playoffs earlier in the day. Maybe even have late morning/earlier afternoon games on Saturday and Sunday.
  3. Market your athletes! Everyone should know who Jason Heyward and Carl Crawford are. Baseball should treat them like they treated Ken Griffey jr.

So baseball let’s talk. Don’t stay stuck in the past and tradition. Embrace the world now. Please start using more instant replay. Maybe if you embrace some change, the YES Network will stop playing Mickey Mantle reruns. That’s probably wishful thinking.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Taser, Tiger, and a Triple Double: Sports week Review


Let’s begin…

Alright so let’s review a little of what happened in sports this weekend.

Why don’t we start with the quitter this weekend? Tiger Woods, I never thought I would say Tiger Woods was a quitter, but he is. Tiger, you’re my man, but come on. Two weeks in a row you have quit on the golf course. This weekend you said you quit because of neck pain. Really Tiger, you’re neck is bothering you? Tell the truth Tiger…it’s the hoes. They use to help you concentrate, and now that Ginger is gone you’ve lost your edge. It was obvious that it was the hoes when I watch your swing. Two years ago during the U.S. Open I say you hit one of the best shots you’re ever hit, and I noticed during your backswing you mouth the sentence “Pimpin ain’t easy.” You lost the risk in you. By the way if you’re going to quit, don’t blame it on your neck. Blame it on the Alcohol. Just say, “Hey I was doing shots at the Green Iguana last night, and the Bacardi is distorting my depth perception.” And just think all of this could have been avoided if you had 2 cell phones.

So, by now you’ve probably heard and maybe even saw the kid that got tased during the baseball game. Look he ran on the field like an idiot was laughed at like an idiot, and he got tased like an idiot. And I’m glad they did it, not because he could have hurt someone, but because I wanted to laugh. I made that the background photo on my computer. I haven’t seen something that funny, since that kid got tased on the University of Florida campus. “Don’t tase me bro.” is the best line ever uttered.

I think I will speak for everyone when I say I have save d the best for last. Cavs v. Celtics Game 4, Rajon Rondo had a great triple double. To grab 18 rebounds are commendable, but to do that from the point guard position is special. He put it down, and made it official that the Boston Celtics are his team. I know Pierce, Allen, and Garnett think differently, but just look at the box score in this series. If you need more evidence look at KG’s knees, Allen’s one dimensional game, and while LeBron blows past Pierce, notice how much bigger that patch of grey hair is getting in Rasheed’s head. I’m not going to bang Sheed, because he showed up, this weekend, but I will bang his head patch.

Other things this week include the overblown perfect game, Steve Nash ousting the Spurs with his eye hanging out, and I think I saw a hockey score. Why are they playing hockey. I thought we gave hockey to Canada in exchange for healthcare.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: