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The New York Knicks Should Get Use To Early Playoff Exits?


Let’s begin…

Really New York, Really? This was team you were all excited about. All anyone said going into the playoffs was, “The Knicks are the most likely team to upset in the Eastern Conference.” The Knicks followed up those predictions, by being the only team to be swept out of the playoffs. Even Ricky Rubio thinks the Kicks got too much hype. “Man that was a waste of time.”

Now granted the Kicks were injured, Amare Stoudemire got banged up, and Chauncey Billups was virtually ineffective. Which is kind of the way he plays when he’s healthy at this point in his career (Too Soon)? At the same time, the Knicks got swept, and weren’t even competitive in two of the losses. I hate to brake it to Knicks fans (actually I love breaking it to New York. Anytime they leave their groin open I kick them) but get used to losing early in the playoffs.

The New York Knicks have obvious deficiency. Defensively they are inept, their coaching can be questionable, and the bench is challenged to be serviceable. I mean anytime Renaldo Balkman is in your potential playoff rotation, things ain’t good. Now these are problems that could be fixed, but it won’t be that easy. You have to factor in the looming CBA this offseason which presumably will decrease the salary cap. So the Knicks will be able to add pieces via trade, but they will not be in the market for major free agent accusations. This means you are looking at the Knicks core for the next 5 years. So at best they will be the third best team in the east at best for the foreseeable future (Miami and Chicago are 1 and 2 in no particular order). So say it with me, “Things ain’t good.”

I expect to be a very competitive team in the regular season, and post season going forward. They may even have a season where they finish with the best record. I mean they have the best scorer in the league. With that being said, they aren’t winning a championship. Their style of play coupled with their roster, is not set up for winning in the playoffs. So, good luck with that New York. You know there’s always Fubu.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on April 25, 2011 in Basketball

 

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NBA Questions…What Are The Miami Heat?


What Are The Heat?

Let’s begin…

    The NBA season is over half way over, and I still have many unanswered questions. Personally I think I have too many unanswered question (did I just write that? I didn’t need to say that twice. I’m a dope).

  • What’s going on with the Miami Heat? It was great watching them lose at the beginning of the season, but now it’s becoming disturbing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t this team supposed to good? I think they were. At least that’s what LeBron told us after the decision when the “Big Hype” stepped through the smoke, like the 87′ Miami Hurricanes. You remember the unveiling when LeBron counted off the Championships, “Not 1, Not 2, Not 3…” Then again maybe he was counting off the number of terrible late game possessions.

    By this time shouldn’t we know what the Miami Heat are? I can’t figure out is their finesse or tough. During close games I don’t even know if their alive. The Heat have time left to address their problems, but it’s getting dangerously close to their carriage turning into a pumpkin. Then again they did sign Mike Bibby, so everything will be alright.

 

  • Since Carmelo Anthony was traded to the New York Knicks, the Denver Nuggets are 5-1. So, is Anthony really that valuable? Now I’m not going to argue that the Nuggets are better without Carmelo Anthony, but I don’t believe they lost anything. With Carmelo the Nuggets had only advanced in the playoff one year out of seven. Call me optimistic, but I believe the Denver could do that without him.

 

  • Is it possible to hold off on nominating Danny Ainge as the King of Basketball? Before Kevin Garnett was gift wrapped to the Celtics, like a tennis bracelet from Jared, Ainge was known as an unsuccessful GM that was on the hot seat. Now four years since the trade the Celtics want you to believe that Danny Ainge has Nostradamus like powers. Now if Kendrick Perkins breaks down, and Jeff Green turns into Scottie Pippen, they would be right. However, there is a better chance that the Celtics capitalized on a small window with aging superstars, and they won’t be able to duplicate in the future. This has happened before, and at that time we overreacted the same way. “Danny Ainge, meet Joe Dumars.”

 

  • Can someone tell me how the San Antonio Spurs keep doing this? Their like a super hero that won’t die. I thought their window was close 3 years ago. There must be something in San Antonio’s water. How else could you explain the fact that their starting center is playing without ACLs. I demand a Federal Grand Jury investigation (Barry Bonds style).

    If the Spurs advance deep into the playoffs, it’s only right that Tony Parker be court mandated to repair his relationship with Eva Longoria. “Come on Tony please do it for the kids!” (Trick love the kids).

  • Is it hypocritical for small market teams like Indiana, Cleveland, and Sacramento to complain about the structure of the NBA? They weren’t complaining when they were the perennial Championship contenders, and Miami, New York, and Boston were at the bottom of the league. This is the way the system works. The only city that should be pissed off is Seattle. Not only did they lose a team that is now a championship contender, but they don’t have a chance of getting another one in the near future. Then again they have the Mariners and Seahawks to help ease the pain.

     

    This has been the greatest NBA regular season since the late 80s when Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Isiah Thomas were in the league. Many people have said that was the golden age of the NBA. If it was golden then, it’s platinum now.

    The questions surround the NBA has made one most predictable professional sport leagues intriguing. It will only get better with the playoffs starting in a month, and I “Can’t Wait” (Bart Scott style).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2011 in Basketball

 

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What No One Is Saying About The Cleveland Cavaliers 25 Game Losing Streak


There Is Nothing But Frustration In Cleveland

Let’s begin…

Now that the Cavaliers have set the record for longest losing streak in NBA history, I think it’s the perfect time to weigh in with some perspective (I didn’t want to talk about it before it happened, because I didn’t want to jinx the streak). For everyone that couldn’t understand why people in Cleveland were crying and burning LeBron‘s jersey after the decision…do you understand now? With that being said, don’t be fooled by what you hear. People talk about how the impact of LeBron is the reason why Cavaliers are losing, and that’s just not completely true. No player in the history of organized basketball is worth 60 wins. It’s easy to dismiss the Cleveland Cavaliers as a team that can’t win without their star player, but let’s examine the whole story.

The Cavs lost the best player in the NBA during free agency. I’m not going to argue that. As a matter of fact I think LeBron should get another MVP this year just for carrying that team for the last 7 years. What many people don’t talk about is that they also lost Delonte West, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Shaquille O’Neal during free agency (What? Did I really just throw Zydrunas Ilgauskas in there as a loss? We may disagree with on Ilgauskas, but I think we can all agree that Delonte’s guns will never be replaced). Couple that with injuries to Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao, and you have a team that could lose 25 games in a row. There is only one player currently playing for the Cavaliers that was a starter for the opening game of the 2009 – 2010 season. So it’s just lazy to say LeBron James is main reason why the Cavs are losing.

What’s happening to the Cleveland Cavaliers is extraordinary. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I have absolutely no faith in their ability to win. I would rather bet on a 6 year soccer team, before I bet the Cavs to cover in a parlay. At the same time if you know anything about the Cavaliers this shouldn’t be shocking (that was a dumb statement by me. I don’t know why the average person would know anything about the Cavs. There people in jail that have better things to do). The good thing is I’m a Cleveland fan, so I will break it down for you (Oh it just keeps getting better).

The Cavaliers struggled throughout the early 80s until they landed Brad Daugherty, Mark Price, Ron Harper and Larry Nance in 1986. The Cavs would be competitive for the next 6 years, and even reach the Eastern Conference Finals. When Cleveland’s core begin to age and retire the Cavs started to struggle again. From 1993 – 2003 they would wallow in mediocrity and never win a playoff series. In 2003 Cleveland drafted LeBron James, and we all know what happened after that. The Cavs would become one of the marquee teams in the NBA, and perennial title contender. After a one championship appearance and a decision, the Cavs were broken up. Now the Cavs are in there traditional low period, but how long will it last (This is where I come in. Watch me save the day)?

The Cavs need to finish what the “The Decision” started, and exile the rest of their core to South Beach. Everything incorporated with the LeBron James era needs to be severed, in order to create a new identity. They can start by either trading or buying out Anderson Varejao, Daniel Gibson, and maybe even Mo Williams. I say maybe Mo because he was not a part of Cleveland teams that had playoff success. I also think he would be an asset worth keeping if the Cavs can rebuild fast enough. They also need to sever ties with Anthony Parker and Antawn Jamison. They can wait on Parker, but I think they should trade Jamison now. Dude has about 4 days of Cavalier basketball left in him. I think they could do him and themselves a favor if they let him go. That would leave the Cleveland Cavaliers with a core of J.J. Hickson and Mo Williams. If they couple that with their lottery pick and trade acquisitions, the Cavaliers could be back in the playoffs in 2 years. Will they be title contenders in 6 years? I don’t know. What I do know is they won’t be losing 25 games in a row.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?


Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

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Posted by on December 29, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Emergency Post: LeBron James Talks Contraction “Child Please”


Should James Stop Talking?

Let’s begin…

At what point is, “I’m just a young kid” no longer a valid excuse for making a bad decision? I think it’s at the age of 25 or whenever you start making adult decisions. Whichever comes first.

I’m just a young kid is LeBron James‘ go to move. More than his step back jumper, or a dunk in traffic. He loves to tell you how young and innocent he is.

In the latest edition of I’m just a kid. James made a comment over the weekend where he supports the idea of contraction, and all-stars teaming up in the NBA (personally I agree with the statement, because of the level of incompetence in certain organizations. Can you say, L.A. Clippers)? He stated that it would be a better league, because teams would be more competitive.

This statement is unpopular because people around the league will lose jobs, and the players union is trying to negotiate a deal with the NBA. The players union wants to get their clients the most money possible. In order to receive that money you have to show that the league is profitable and the players deserve a huge chunk. So, if teams are contracted it shows that teams aren’t profitable, and it hinders the players negotiating power. In conclusion LeBron helped the other team, which isn’t the first time. Please see 2010 playoff Boston game 5.

When LeBron was questioned about his comments he said, “I don’t even know what the word contraction means…” Really…you want me to believe you made it to the age of 26 without knowing the definition of contraction. Come on man. Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining because sooner or later I’m going to taste the salt.

If LeBron just came out and said I’m a douche people would respect him more. And if you don’t know what words mean, STOP TALKING. Take a page out of the Michael Jordan Hand Book For P.R. Dummies and say nothing (Jordan never took a stand on anything. You could ask him if Wheaties truly was the breakfast of champions and he’d plead the fifth). Everyday I’m happier he left Cleveland, and took his talents to South beach…another “I’m just a kid” move.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 28, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Christmas Day Basketball, Featuring Juggernauts


Will The Miam Heat Hype Machine Crank Up?

Let’s begin…

I can’t wait for the Christmas, because of the slate of intriguing NBA games. I feel like I’m 7 years old again I might just sleep by the Television and wake up every 15 minutes to see if it’s 11:30 (2:30 east coast time. Allow me to show some love to the west coast here. They have to watch the Seahawks play for goodness sake. Let me throw them a bone). This has been the most exciting NBA regular season since 1995 when Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls. The NBA has star power, intrigue, and most importantly…juggernauts. If I knew all it took was a decision by LeBron to create this kind of excitement? I would have signed up for it a long time ago. I would have even help scrounge up some kids to beef up that boys’ and girls’ audience.

Now there are plenty of people opposed to the NBA as currently constructed, because of the unwatchable teams at the bottom of the league. If that’s your concern I understand (Shoot I’m a Cleveland Cavaliers‘ fan, so I feel your pain. You couldn’t pay me to watch 82 games of that). This summer I thought this would be bad for the league. Then I realized, “I’m emotionally invested in the NBA during the summer? This is great.” Do you know what’s worse than having 15 unwatchable teams? (You’re not really supposed to think about that question. That’s just a non-rhetorical question that makes me feel like I’m making a groundbreaking point “I’m dropping knowledge”)…having 2 great teams and 25 uncompelling teams that are just okay (please see the NBA 1998 – 2004).

There are 8 NBA juggernauts in this order: Boston Celtics, San Antonio Spurs, L.A. Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (tie), Chicago Bulls, and Oklahoma City Thunder (Feel free to complain). These teams have managed to make the regular season mean something, when it means nothing at all. I would argue out of all professional sports, basketball’s regular season means the least. In the last 10 years only 2 teams have led the regular season in wins and went on to win the championship. So, these Christmas day games are going to be great, but outcome it really doesn’t, unless Miami wins by double digits.

If the Miami Heat beat the L.A. Lakers convincingly; ESPN, VS, and even The Food Network, will re-fire the hype machine. You remember that machine…the one that continues to show the first 30 seconds of the decision, followed by the championship celebration in Miami the next day. It’s been out of order ever since Boston beat Miami for the second time and LeBron accidently bumped his coach on purpose. I don’t expect the out of order sign to come off of that machine. Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers will be ready to play. I think Kobe’s been ready to play ever since Miami celebrated their “9 consecutive championships” (They haven’t actually won 9 championships. Just in case some dope is looking that up). This game will be competitive, but the Lakers have too much for the Heat to deal with. Miami will lose this game, and sport networks will actually have to work for a lead story.

Enjoy the games and embrace the juggernauts. Personally I’m going to start taking Benadryl and drinking NyQuil, so I can fall asleep.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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“Hey New York I Thought Everyone Wanted To Play There…You Should Have Told Cliff Lee”


Cliff Lee Stuns New York

Let’s begin…

“Oh Cliff, thanks for giving me a knife to stick in the side of New York’s delusion.” When you talk to a New York sports fan they have a way about them (I would call it swagger, but their confidence is based on being something they’re not). Everybody says, “New York always gets there man.” That’s all I ever hear. Well somebody should have told Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee (I’m still waiting on LeBron James to show up. “You promised him to me. Somebody get Isaiah Thomas on the phone.”). Both of them spurned New York this summer for another franchise.

I have to give Cliff Lee credit. He used two teams as pawns in order to get what he really wanted.

  1. A Chance to be competitive every year
  2. Pitching in the National League
  3. No Pressure

I can’t wait to watch the press conference. I’m expecting him to show up with Don King and Nick Saban. Cliff Lee will step to the microphone and say, “These are two of my three best friends. Shout out to Kanye West, he couldn’t make it. Nick told me not to talk too much. So, I’m happy to be a Philly and let’s go Heat.”

I’m not going to completely dump on New York, because they did sign one big free agent “number 2, Derek Jeter (pronounced Jee-tah), number 2″ Oh yeah, and good luck signing Andy Pettitte. I think the city on New York should put some money together, and buy C.C. Sabathiaa back brace. He’s going to be sore carrying that pitching staff.

The truth about New York is no one wants to play there. That’s why they have to over pay superstars. If it were true that everyone wanted to play in New York, the Knicks and Mets would be contenders every year. A majority of athletes and people don’t want to live in cold weather. In order to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. You have to entice them. That is why the Yankees are the best franchise in baseball. They’re willing to pay you to be uncomfortable (Boston is also willing to do it, because the Yankees have forced them to do it). However if all things are equal…there are a lot of people lining up to take their talents to South Beach. That is why New York sports fans are delusional. They have one friend that’s good looking but, they all walk around like they’re hottest girl in the club. When in actuality, if your friend isn’t with you? You should be at a truck looking for change.

In this last paragraph I’m going to grab the Yankee fans off the Brooklyn Bridge (It will probably be a while before you had the chance to jump, because you have all those Mets’ fans in front of you). The Red Sox or the Yankees will represent the American League in the World Series (I give the nod to Boston because they have better pitching but its close). They have the best 2nd baseman in baseball (Robinson Cano) and a 1st baseman (Mark Teixeira) in the top three. And they also have tons of money. So, they’ll be okay.

Now excuse me while I figure out who the Cleveland Indians are going to bring in.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Baseball

 

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