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“Hey New York I Thought Everyone Wanted To Play There…You Should Have Told Cliff Lee”


Cliff Lee Stuns New York

Let’s begin…

“Oh Cliff, thanks for giving me a knife to stick in the side of New York’s delusion.” When you talk to a New York sports fan they have a way about them (I would call it swagger, but their confidence is based on being something they’re not). Everybody says, “New York always gets there man.” That’s all I ever hear. Well somebody should have told Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee (I’m still waiting on LeBron James to show up. “You promised him to me. Somebody get Isaiah Thomas on the phone.”). Both of them spurned New York this summer for another franchise.

I have to give Cliff Lee credit. He used two teams as pawns in order to get what he really wanted.

  1. A Chance to be competitive every year
  2. Pitching in the National League
  3. No Pressure

I can’t wait to watch the press conference. I’m expecting him to show up with Don King and Nick Saban. Cliff Lee will step to the microphone and say, “These are two of my three best friends. Shout out to Kanye West, he couldn’t make it. Nick told me not to talk too much. So, I’m happy to be a Philly and let’s go Heat.”

I’m not going to completely dump on New York, because they did sign one big free agent “number 2, Derek Jeter (pronounced Jee-tah), number 2″ Oh yeah, and good luck signing Andy Pettitte. I think the city on New York should put some money together, and buy C.C. Sabathiaa back brace. He’s going to be sore carrying that pitching staff.

The truth about New York is no one wants to play there. That’s why they have to over pay superstars. If it were true that everyone wanted to play in New York, the Knicks and Mets would be contenders every year. A majority of athletes and people don’t want to live in cold weather. In order to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. You have to entice them. That is why the Yankees are the best franchise in baseball. They’re willing to pay you to be uncomfortable (Boston is also willing to do it, because the Yankees have forced them to do it). However if all things are equal…there are a lot of people lining up to take their talents to South Beach. That is why New York sports fans are delusional. They have one friend that’s good looking but, they all walk around like they’re hottest girl in the club. When in actuality, if your friend isn’t with you? You should be at a truck looking for change.

In this last paragraph I’m going to grab the Yankee fans off the Brooklyn Bridge (It will probably be a while before you had the chance to jump, because you have all those Mets’ fans in front of you). The Red Sox or the Yankees will represent the American League in the World Series (I give the nod to Boston because they have better pitching but its close). They have the best 2nd baseman in baseball (Robinson Cano) and a 1st baseman (Mark Teixeira) in the top three. And they also have tons of money. So, they’ll be okay.

Now excuse me while I figure out who the Cleveland Indians are going to bring in.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Baseball

 

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The NFL or the MLB, Who’s Number 1…I Know.


Let’s begin…

I’ve been watching baseball closely for the last 10 years. That’s one of the things I regret about the time I spent in New York. All they play is baseball games. They have their own Yankee Network. So, it’s 24 hours Yankees. It’s like B.E.T. in the 90’s when they kept showing Rap City reruns. The Yes Network still plays Mickey Mantle’s opening day game.

Something is happening in baseball. Since the post steroids era, great pitching and “The Athlete” has taken center stage. This is great for baseball. You can market athletes, because people envy what they can’t do, and great pictures make for appointment television. I think that if Major League Baseball markets it’s’ product correctly, it could once again become the number one sport in America once again. Now I know everyone is thinking, “How can they beat the NFL?” Alright just pay attention, grab some coffee, turn off the porn, and if you’re really weird turn off the hockey game.

These are a few of the reason why baseball could be number 1 again. Baseball has clear advantages over football. Baseball players don’t wear as much equipment (Helmet, Shoulder pads, etc.), so it’s easier to identify with the players. Fans can sit at home, and believe they can do it. As crazy as that sounds, we all know Bubba on the couch can’t hit a slider. Also, every individual baseball player has a larger impact on whether your team wins or loses. That’s not even close to being true in football. There’s no individual that can that can change a football game that much just ask Dan Marino. I do think it all comes down to showcasing your athletes, and for all the success of the NFL. They have not had a must see player since Deon Sanders, and even then they didn’t showcase him. Everybody is on Peyton Manning’s jock. People think he’s a great marketer, because pitches everything from Direct TV to condoms. However, he could never out sell Sanders. Manning could never drive a clothing line or sell his own shoes, because he’s not an athlete.

If baseball wants to be great again, they need to take a line out of the NBA’s marketing book. This is what baseball should do.

  1. Advertise big pitching matchups as head to head battles.
  2. Start playoffs earlier in the day. Maybe even have late morning/earlier afternoon games on Saturday and Sunday.
  3. Market your athletes! Everyone should know who Jason Heyward and Carl Crawford are. Baseball should treat them like they treated Ken Griffey jr.

So baseball let’s talk. Don’t stay stuck in the past and tradition. Embrace the world now. Please start using more instant replay. Maybe if you embrace some change, the YES Network will stop playing Mickey Mantle reruns. That’s probably wishful thinking.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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