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The 2011 Eastern Conference Finals, Chicago Bulls vs. Miami Heat


Three of the Best Players Will Be Showcased In Eastern Conference Finals

Let’s begin…

Eastern Conference Finals The Chicago Bulls vs. The Miami Heat

In the Eastern Conference we have the top 2 seeds battling it out for the right to go to the NBA Finals. When this season started I wouldn’t have dreamed of this being a possible scenario (which probably says more about me). However after some injuries and bad trades (shout out to Otis Smith and Danny Ainge) here we are.

Don’t be prisoners of the moment. We have seen Derrick Rose and the Chicago Bulls accomplish great feats throughout the regular season. At one time it was believed that they were the odds on favorite to go to the finals, but as the great Notorious B.I.G. said, “Things Done Changed.” During the post season the Bulls have been proven to be a limited team that does everything right. They’re kind of like a good looking guy with a limited vocabulary. Dude looks good, smells, and has good hygiene, but at the end of the day he going home alone, because he doesn’t have the mouth piece needed to get it done before last call (anyone can get it done after last call. At that point only low hanging fruit is left. You get no points for landing grenades). You can point to the Bulls and they’re defensive intensity, but everybody is playing with intensity at this time of the year. In addition Miami is the best defensive team left in the playoffs. So, Chicago’s two biggest strengths are null.

Now the Bulls definitely have the advantage at point guard. And when I say advantage, I mean it isn’t close. Derrick Rose will embarrass any point on Miami’s roster. Rose probably relishes the opportunity to go up against Mike Bibby. Heck I relish the opportunity to go up against Mike Bibby. Miami should petition the NBA to have the point guard position stricken from NBA rosters, and propose 4 on 4 as an alternative. So everyone would agree that Rose will have his way. Then what?

The Bulls don’t have anybody consistently outside of Rose. Carlos Boozer would be great in this series, but he’s not healthy. So, you’re left with an energetic Joakim Noah, a good player in Luol Deng and a specialist in Kyle Korver. If Miami is smart they will defend Korver and Deng with LeBron and Wade. Bosh will guard Boozer, which is a wash, because Boozer is injured and Bosh is…Bosh. The Bulls are then left with Noah at an advantage at Center. That’s just isn’t enough. You can point at depth as a means to offset this problem, but what happens when LeBron and Wade play 40 minutes…oh yeah they drop 30 on your 7th and 8th men (Depth can be the most overrated thing in the playoffs, especially when the other team’s core is young).

The only way the Miami Heat will lose is if LeBron James and Dwayne Wade have bad games. Those two guys must play great simultaneously for 4 games. The Heat don’t have the margin of error to get by without either of those guys. If the Bulls can somehow find out how to get one of those guys off their game, they will win this series. Now can they do it?

The Bulls problem this series will be offense. Defensively they will be fine. They may even be great, but if they can’t score they will lose (please see the Boston Celtics). This series is summed up perfectly by a friend of mine who said, “If you take away the 3 best players in this series. The Bulls will win this series hands down, because of their depth.” The problem is the 3 best players are playing in this series, and Miami has the best 2.

The Miami Heat win 4 – 1

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on May 14, 2011 in Basketball

 

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2011 NBA Season Lottery Teams Rankings, MVP, and Best Team


The Heat, Lakers, and Thunder Are All Powerhouse Teams

Let’s begin…

NBA Lottery Teams, Power Rankings

The rankings are based on a combination of quality of players, expectations, and how awful the team was. I’m ranking best outcome to worse outcome.

“This is it. Don’t get scared now.”

  1. L.A. Clippers: This was clearly the best lottery team this season. They toyed with the idea of making the playoffs while being just bad enough to make it into the lottery. Couldn’t have done it better myself.
  2. Houston Rockets: This is the arguably the best team in the lottery. They obviously have some holes to fill in the front court, but they have one of the best front offices in the NBA. They will be fine. Look for them to make the playoffs next year.
  3. Milwaukee Bucks: This is a playoff team that caught some bad breaks. Look for them to get back on track next season. “Fear the Dear”
  4. Phoenix Suns: This franchise is in denial. They should have started rebuilding 3 years ago after the Shaq experience. They have to get what they can for Steve Nash and cut bait with Vince Carter as soon as possible. Do it for the kids.
  5. Golden State Warriors: I don’t even know what to call this. I think it’s a basketball team, but I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish. I’m not sure they are even trying to win games, but I love this organization, because hands down they have the best fantasy players.
  6. Utah Jazz: After losing their two best players what could you reasonably expect. If you’re a Jazz fan just pray Jimmer Fredette is off the board before the Jazz make their pick.
  7. Minnesota Timberwolves: For the talent this team had they should have won a few more games. At the same time this is Minnesota. I’m not sure they know they still have a basketball team.
  8. Sacramento Kings: Welcome to the best high school team of all time. If John Calipari were a GM this is the team he would put together. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kings end up having to vacate wins.
  9. Charlotte Bobcats: You changed coaches, traded away your best players, and Michael Jordan is your de facto GM. Other than that things are great.
  10. Washington Wizards: Your team stinks, but at least you have John Wall.
  11. Cleveland Cavaliers: “Damn” Nuff said
  12. Toronto Raptors: I know why this debacle happened, but did you have to wallow in the debacle?
  13. Detroit Pistons: I wanted to put Toronto last, but then I remembered that no one playing for the Pistons likes to organization. So I will jump off the ship with them.

My All NBA Team

C Dwight Howard

PF LaMarcus Aldridge

SF LeBron James

SG Dwyane Wade

PG Derrick Rose

I almost put Kevin Durant at shooting guard because he should be on this list.

2011 MVP

This belongs to Dwight Howard. I don’t want to hear about how Derrick Rose is so great. Look, dude isn’t even top five in the NBA (FYI top five: LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dirk Nowitzki). Don’t get me wrong he’s a good player, but he is replaceable. On the other hand no one changes the game on both ends of the floor the way Dwight Howard does. He is the most dominate force in the NBA, and the MVP.

Best Team in the NBA

The Los Angeles Lakers are the best team. It may be seen as a copout, but they’re the best. The bottom line is they would be the favorite against every other team in the NBA. They have the best closer in Kobe Bryant, and the best coach in Phil Jackson. The Lakers should win the championship.

Season Synopsis

This has been the best regular season in recent history. I think it can spark another golden age in basketball, and I want to thank LeBron James (you’ll have to excuse me for a moment I just threw up in my mouth). James and the Miami Heat changed the way originations put their teams together. Now thanks to them we have powerhouse teams in big markets (the downside is terrible teams like Toronto ad Cleveland…just threw up in my mouth again).

There are 6 teams that have a legitimate shot at winning a championship. I can’t remember the last time that was the case. Wide open playoffs should make for some excitement.

“It’s Go Time!”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Christmas Day Basketball, Featuring Juggernauts


Will The Miam Heat Hype Machine Crank Up?

Let’s begin…

I can’t wait for the Christmas, because of the slate of intriguing NBA games. I feel like I’m 7 years old again I might just sleep by the Television and wake up every 15 minutes to see if it’s 11:30 (2:30 east coast time. Allow me to show some love to the west coast here. They have to watch the Seahawks play for goodness sake. Let me throw them a bone). This has been the most exciting NBA regular season since 1995 when Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls. The NBA has star power, intrigue, and most importantly…juggernauts. If I knew all it took was a decision by LeBron to create this kind of excitement? I would have signed up for it a long time ago. I would have even help scrounge up some kids to beef up that boys’ and girls’ audience.

Now there are plenty of people opposed to the NBA as currently constructed, because of the unwatchable teams at the bottom of the league. If that’s your concern I understand (Shoot I’m a Cleveland Cavaliers‘ fan, so I feel your pain. You couldn’t pay me to watch 82 games of that). This summer I thought this would be bad for the league. Then I realized, “I’m emotionally invested in the NBA during the summer? This is great.” Do you know what’s worse than having 15 unwatchable teams? (You’re not really supposed to think about that question. That’s just a non-rhetorical question that makes me feel like I’m making a groundbreaking point “I’m dropping knowledge”)…having 2 great teams and 25 uncompelling teams that are just okay (please see the NBA 1998 – 2004).

There are 8 NBA juggernauts in this order: Boston Celtics, San Antonio Spurs, L.A. Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (tie), Chicago Bulls, and Oklahoma City Thunder (Feel free to complain). These teams have managed to make the regular season mean something, when it means nothing at all. I would argue out of all professional sports, basketball’s regular season means the least. In the last 10 years only 2 teams have led the regular season in wins and went on to win the championship. So, these Christmas day games are going to be great, but outcome it really doesn’t, unless Miami wins by double digits.

If the Miami Heat beat the L.A. Lakers convincingly; ESPN, VS, and even The Food Network, will re-fire the hype machine. You remember that machine…the one that continues to show the first 30 seconds of the decision, followed by the championship celebration in Miami the next day. It’s been out of order ever since Boston beat Miami for the second time and LeBron accidently bumped his coach on purpose. I don’t expect the out of order sign to come off of that machine. Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers will be ready to play. I think Kobe’s been ready to play ever since Miami celebrated their “9 consecutive championships” (They haven’t actually won 9 championships. Just in case some dope is looking that up). This game will be competitive, but the Lakers have too much for the Heat to deal with. Miami will lose this game, and sport networks will actually have to work for a lead story.

Enjoy the games and embrace the juggernauts. Personally I’m going to start taking Benadryl and drinking NyQuil, so I can fall asleep.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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NBA Free Agency 2010; All About LeBron James


Let’s begin…

So now that the NBA Draft is over and free agency is approaching it’s now time to give my thought on NBA free agency, and in particular LeBron James. Everyone has already stated their opinion on what they think will happen. Some think all the free agents will stay, and some think they will all go. So it’s only far that I give you my take.

    This summer will be a very telling point in these free agents career. The moves made this summer will stamp the stamp the first chapter of their NBA careers, and it will be the first indicator as to what is most important to each individual. So let’s just go down the list.

Carlos Boozer will end up playing for whoever is left out. He’s the wingman you stick on the ugly girl at the club. I think he will end up with the New Jersey Nets (or Brooklyn depending on if you’re a glass half filled guy).

    Chris Bosh will end up with the L.A. Lakers. There has been rumored to be a sign and trade deal on the involving Bosh and Bynum. The Lakers would be foolish not to pull the trigger. Bynum has heart, but he barely has a knee cap. If you con find someone dumb enough to take him off your hands, do it.

    Dwayne Wade stays in Miami. There’s no way dude is leaving Miami. Even though Miami is about as committed to winning as JaMarcus Russell, Wade will try to rationalize it publicly with the 2007 championship. Don’t you remember that championship? Yeah you know the championship. The one that had a limited Udonis Haslem, a washed up Gary Payton, and a misshapen Antoine Walker in the starting line up (would say Walker was washed up, but that would be an insult to the word).

    It’s not all bad for Wade though, because he will be joined by Amare Stoudemire. With Wade and Stoudemire the Heat will be a top 3 Eastern Conference team.

    Joe Johnson and his lack luster playoff game will be in New Jersey.

    I think that Rudy Gay probably ends up signing with the New York Knicks. The Knicks will be left out, and they’ll have to sell their fans something. So, I think they’ll sign Rudy Gay to save face.

    The next few players I call free agent stragglers. I think the name is self-explanatory. Ray Allen will be in Miami or New York. David Lee will stay in New York, and continue to put up NBA Jam like rebounding stats. Shaquille O’Neal will be in New York. I know it’s a reach, but I had to put him somewhere. Maybe he’ll start making rap album again, and we can act like the last 2 years of his career never happened. The other day someone asked me were I thought Nate Robinson was going …who cares. It’s Nate Robinson; just keep him as far away from the basketball as possible. Hopefully Nate Robinson and Gilbert Arenas join the And1 Tour. Then they can shoot all the half court shots they want, and drink red Mountain Dew.

    So, I saved the big prize for last. Where do you think LeBron James will end up? My opinion on this changes daily, so I’ll layout all possible scenarios, and start another post.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2010 in Basketball

 

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NBA Playoffs: It’s time For Penthouse, Townhouse, and Outhouse Invitations


Let’s begin…

 

The Outhouse

First the entire Atlanta Hawks franchise must get in. I’d even throw Mookie Blaylock and Stacy Augmon in the Outhouse, because of association. By the way I hope the debate about whether Joe Johnson is a max player is over. He isn’t a max player even though he will be paid like one (please see Rashard Lewis).

    Mike Beasley, I know you’re young, but welcome to the Outhouse. Enjoy your stay.

    The Denver Nuggets state of mind is welcome to have a whole section. Please leave your intelligence at the door.

    Dirk Nowitzki and Mark Cuban are up next. However, Cuban can go, but only if you leave Dirk.

Oh, Antawn Jamison get in the Outhouse, and don’t leave until Kevin Garnett stops pissing on you. I’ll make a deal with you. If you skip the last 4 years of your deal, I will start a Facebook campaign to send you back to D.C.

Mike Brown why don’t get in, and switch off with Antawn Jamison. You got worked by Doc Rivers, one of the worst postseason coaches ever (don’t email me until you check his record). So, Doc if you would do the honor, unload that big lunch.

    “Please rise and welcome the last guy into the Outhouse for the second year in a row.” I was just practicing Mo Williams’ intro.

 

The Townhouse

Ron Artest, Rajon Rondo, Paul Peirce, Vince Carter, Amare Stoudemire, you’ll are welcome to stay in my Townhouse. Please sit in the, “I don’t know if you’re for real yet” section. Now relax it may not be permanent. You guys have at least 4 playoff games left, so it could get better. Except for one of these guys, just guess who…it took you too long. Vince Carter he may lay down in the Out house while Peirce does the honors.

    Kevin Garnett and Doc Rivers zip up your pants and come it here.

    How about we send an invite to Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook? You may make it in the Penthouse eventually, but as for now share the couch.

    Brandon Jennings welcome. By the way, you were right to skip college and go to Europe. It made you a better player.

Darren Williams and Carlos Boozer, come on in. Jerry Sloan can show you around, he practically lives here.

I’ve been debating whether I should, but I think I will. So LBJ, LeBron James, King James, The Chosen One…which ever one of your alter egos showed up for games 4 and 5 of round two please get in. If you don’t go to New York, please tell me a day in advance. I want to go to Florida and laugh about it with Isaiah Thomas.

 

The Penthouse

Dwight Howard, Stan Van Gundy, and the L.A. Lakers (except for Artest, he’s coloring his hair in my Townhouse sink) are all welcome. I have a feeling all you guys will be here a while.

    Steve Nash, it’s been a long time coming, but now you’re official.

    Grant Hill you’re that last one in. You have always showed up. Thanks for not taking the Anfernee Hardaway approach.

 

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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