RSS

Tag Archives: College Football

Did The Sweater Vest Fool You?? Yes Jim Tressel Plays The Game Too.


Let’s begin…

    First off, I think Jim Tressel knew that his players broke the rules, and I think he lied hoping that the issue would go away. Once the issue came to light he owned up to what he did, because he had nowhere else to turn. With that being said, is anyone surprised? This is college sports. It’s a system based off the exploitation of individuals that are denied the opportunity to profit off of their skills (If I read that too you and asked you to guess the profession. You would probably say black market prostitution or AAU basketball). Big time college sports are dirty, and when you’re in a dirty industry it’s hard to be clean while being successful. Just ask Randy Shannon of the University of Miami what a clean program gets you (Gets you fired in case you’re wondering).

Ohio State publicly reprimanded Jim Tressel yesterday in a press conference. They suspended him for 2 games and docked him $250,000. Now I think this is hypocritical. Look no further than the players that he covered up for. They got a five game suspension, and Tressel only got two? At the same time isn’t it also hypocritical that Terrell Pryor and the tattoo five got to play? Was it hypocritical that Cam Newton got to play last season? And while we’re at it lets sprinkle a little Reggie Bush scandal in here? The entire scope of college sports is hypocritical. So, can we please stop the farce that is, “College Student Athletes” and start paying the players.

There is too much money involved college sports to call it amateur athletics. Even Don King thinks college sports are immoral. There needs to be a union to represent the players. I propose the idea of giving players the option of a scholarship or cash (I’m talking straight cash homie). The amount of money would be collectively bargained through the union. If players opt for the cash, then they would forfeit the right to all amenities normally supplied by the university including tuition, books, and housing (I’m talking about being an adult homie).

Until changes are made these are the rules. Jim Tressel violated the rules, and should be punished. You can suspend him and his sweater vest for the entire season, but it’s not going to fix the problem. You have to end this idea of amateur athletics, and start compensating players. Now excuse me I have to wire some money to Thad Matta.

 

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

Advertisements
 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The National Title Belongs To The SEC Again; Kortney Shane’s College Football Season Review


Cam Newton Is A Champion, But For How Long?

Let’s begin…

Last night was a very interesting game. I knew it would start slow, because the stage was something these schools haven’t experienced. I didn’t think it would be so sloppy throughout the game. The biggest play on of the game occurred on a bad tackle. Where the runner, didn’t realize…he wasn’t tackled (what?). The execution on the field was terrible, and the coaching didn’t help.

I’m not going to blame everything on the coaching. What I will say is Gene Chizik is a bad coach and Chip Kelly is good to okay (Good in the Pac-10, and okay against everyone else). I thought Chizik’s approach hampered his offense. His play calling allowed Oregon to stay in the game. Auburn should have won that game by at least 14 points.

As for Chip Kelly, I tend to give him a bit of a pass. He’s coaching the players he has the best they can be coached. He has a small offensive line, and a defense that can kind of sort of create pressure. So, it makes sense that Kelly would try to play the edges of the field. At the same time if you’re a big time program, act like your big time. Play to win. Don’t run trick plays, and try to back door your way to a championship. GO WIN.

Now that the SEC has effectively dominated the entire college landscape, let’s stop arguing about what conference is the best. That’s like arguing about whether Amy Winehouse has a substance abuse problem. I know she has a problem, because I watched her do bumps on YouTube (See it here). And we know the SEC is the best conference, because they keep winning.

    This college football season was decent. While I enjoyed the games, there weren’t any great teams this year (It also didn’t help that Florida and Texas both had down seasons). That’s fine with me, because this year wasn’t about what happened on the field. This season will be remembered for rule violations and the hypocrisy of the NCAA. After seeing the way college football was expose for being the business that it is. I don’t know how anyone could deny that under this current format, college players should be compensated. I’m not talking about a suitcase full of case, or a scholarship (you know that scholarship they give to players, that’s supposed to convince everyone they’re actually students). I’m talking about a plan to funnel some of the money back to the individuals that are doing the work.

As long as this system stays the way it is. I will not condone or condemn any athlete with their hand out. So, I’m not slamming Cam Newton, A.J. Green, or the “Tat Five” at Ohio State. Instead I’m hoping that the playing field is made level for everyone. Now let’s count down the days until Auburn has the give back the National Title.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What The Heck Is A Michigan Man?


Bo Schembechler

Let’s begin…

So Rich Rodriguez got fired twice by Michigan this week (his firing originally surfaced Tuesday thought the Detroit Free Press. Michigan denied the reports, and the next day they fired Rich Rod). That was cold blooded. I think he should have gotten fired two and a half. The last half was uncalled for.

Rodriguez never fit at Michigan. In college sports your coach has to be a representation of what your school stands for. From his spread offense to the teary-eyed speech at the team banquet. Rich Rod never said Michigan Football. A school like Michgan is hard to break into as an outsider. There’s too much tradition and too many old people longing for the way things use to be. If you’re going to be different you better produce, and even then you’re never fully accepted, just ask Les Miles (He has a national title and wins 10 games every year, yet everyone at LSU can’t stand him). Some would argue that only a “Michigan Man” can succeed at Michigan.

Alright, this whole Michigan Man thing is a crock. First off Bo Schembechler (he established the term Michigan Man) wasnt even from Michigan. As a matter of fact Shembechuler received a degree from Ohio State which is the opposite of Michigan. That’s like saying, “We need an actor” and you hire a porn star. If you win games no one cares who you are or where you came from.

Part of me wants to say, “Michigan…you’re Michigan! Why are you even looking for coaches? Coaches look for you.” Michigan is the winningest program in the country. This isn’t Notre Dame longing for the past, or the University of Miami who was a flash in the pan. This is Michigan…best job in the country.

The Big Ten is a conference that is struggling to remain elite. They need the University of Michigan in order to be a great conference. It has been widely reported that Michigan would like to hire Jim Harbaugh. A good coach who played at the University of Michigan (He also fulfills their “We Need A Michigan Man Theory”). I hope they get Harbaugh, but if they don’t. Remember the times of Bo Schembechler and hire somebody that will win.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: BCS Bowl Games 2010


Let’s begin…

First read the headline…now read it again. That means I will not be breaking down 6-5 teams playing in the Top Ramen bowl (I’d rather talk about high school volleyball). So this is my apology to fans of irrelevant teams, playing in irrelevant games.

Here are my picks for compelling non BCS bowl games

Boise State beats Utah

Now let’s move on.

Fiesta Bowl

Connecticut Huskies vs. Oklahoma Sooners

The Huskies are going to get their doors blown off. I’m not going to waste my time explaining why. My only question in regard to this game is…why does the Big East have an automatic bid. I don’t know why they can’t allow the 4th automatic bid to go to the highest ranked BCS team, who’s Conference is not already represented in a BCS bowl games (So this year TCU would have got the automatic bid, and that would have made way for Boise State to play in a BCS bowl).

Oklahoma win, 40 – 10

Orange Bowl

Virginia Tech Hokies vs. Stanford Cardinals

I’m telling you don’t buy the hype. That should be the title for this game and all the BCS bowl games for that matter. Everybody has been talking about how great Stanford and Andrew Luck are, it makes you believe they’re actually a good team. I hate to break the news (I’m lying right there. I love breaking news, especially when it makes me look good) but Stanford isn’t that good. Now before you tell me about how John Harbough is an NFL coach and Andrew Luck is the best quarterback since Nute Rockney. Allow me to ask you a question…who have they beat (Don’t worry I will give you time to think. I know it takes a while to mentally sift through all those Pac-10 juggernauts. By the way the Pac-10 is the most overrated conference in the country).

While you’re still thinking let me address Virginia Tech. As we all know the Hokies got off to a rough start. After losing to Boise State to open the season, they lost to James Madison (I know some of you’ll are confused. You thought James Madison was only a president. Well he also plays football in Division 1-AA. Now go back to figuring out who Stanford beat). What no one talks about is how Virginia Tech hasn’t lost since then. The Hokies ran away with the Coastal Conference of the ACC, and cap their run by winning the ACC Championship.

I respect Stanford as a football team, but I haven’t seen enough to say they have been truly tested. Virginia Tech will beat (hey you guys still thinking I’m making my pick) Stanford, because overall they have better players. Stanford won’t be able to keep up with their speed.

Hokies win 30 – 24

Sugar Bowl

Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Arkansas Razorbacks

In recent history the Ohio State Buckeyes have struggled against the SEC in bowl games. The Bucks have had trouble trying to stop the spread offense. Now they did beat Oregon last year (who runs a spread offense), but maybe it was in admiration.

The Arkansas Razorbacks are a good team that has proved themselves in the SEC. They have an NFL quarterback and a serviceable coach. However they’re not that good. Now I give them credit for over achieving, but Ohio State isn’t going to give them any. “So congratulations Arkansas now brace for a beating.” They have no business playing in this game. You may say, “Ohio State struggles with the SEC.” I agree that they have struggled, but this team is barely a top 5 SEC team.

Ohio State should beat Arkansas in dominating fashion.

Buckeyes win, 30 – 20

Rose Bowl

TCU Horned Frogs vs. Wisconsin Badgers

This is the best game out of all of the bowl games. I’m expecting a heavy weight championship fight. You have the bruising running game of Wisconsin in one corner, and TCU’s defense in the other corner.

I hear people trying to downgrade TCU because of their competition, and I agree. I don’t think they are the 3rd best team in the country. However, that doesn’t matter. I judge teams based on what I see. I saw TCU play, and they have the best defense in the Country. I think it will make for an interesting game, because Wisconsin has the best running game in the country. The Horn Frogs offense is also underrated. Their senior quarterback Andy Dalton can flat out play. I think their passing game could pose serious problems for the Badgers.

I had the misfortune of experiencing Wisconsin when they beat Ohio State (And man did they beat them. I haven’t seen someone dominate the spotlight like that since Beyoncé was in Destiny’s Child). Wisconsin is a good football, and they’ll be ready to play. Some of their wins are a bit overrated, but they won the games. The problem with Wisconsin is their biggest strength is their biggest flaw. The Badgers run the ball, run the ball, and run the ball. That’s a good way to win in the Big Ten, but when you play warm weather games on a neutral field. You have to be able to throw the ball.

I think TCU will stop Wisconsin’s running game and narrowly win this game.

Horned Frogs win, 22 – 20

The BCS National Championship

Oregon Ducks vs. Auburn Tigers

Auburn is better than Oregon. However, the best team doesn’t always win. So allow me to make a case for Oregon.

The Ducks have the most efficient offense in college football (by efficient I mean they score fast…I wanted to define that is case you didn’t have a dictionary handy, or hadn’t left your house since 1910). Their spread offense is not like the other ones being run in college football. Usually a spread offense is based on a finesse style of play where the object is to get the ball to your athletes in space. Oregon’s offense can not only spread you out, but with LaMicheal James they have the ability to be a power running team. This makes the opposition vulnerable to play action passing one every play. Consequently your defense is never comfortable and always off balance. Defensively the ducks are extremely limited. They play great with a lead, but in tight games their flaws are evident.

The Auburn Tigers are the best team in the country. With Cam Newton they have the ability to control your entire team. Newton single handedly got Auburn to the national championship (which is what you’re supposed to do when you’re getting paid).I would like t be able to point to all the qualities Auburn has, but I can’t find them. I don’t know how they beat LSU, Arkansas, and Alabama. I picked against Auburn in every big game. I’m not going to look like an idiot again. The Tigers are beast. Cam Newton will earn his pay check.

Tigers win, 35 – 21

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How Does Donovan McNabb Do IT?


McNabb Benched Again

Let’s begin…

    This weekend Donovan McNabb will be benched by Mike Shanahan in favor of Rex Grossman. That’s right Rex Grossman. I can’t figure out how that guy is still in the NFL. I thought somebody from Chicago killed him after he gave away the super bowl. I wonder if Grossman has ever been a good player. I know he had a great career at the University of Florida, but so did Danny Wuerffel. Wuerffel was also a terrible NFL player, but he managed to go away subtlety (Kind of the way ABC stopped making that Caveman Television show. What an epic fail that was). That’s Grossman’s biggest flaw…he just won’t go away. Rex Grossman is to the NFL what Roaches are to Studio Apartments.

    Donovan McNabb is getting replaced for the 4th time in a little over 2 years. So, if twice is a trend…what’s four times. Is Donovan a good quarterback? I’m not sure. I want to say he’s a great quarterback, because of his history. However, if someone is great and they know they’re great…why doesn’t he defend himself?

    Why does McNabb never step up and say something. From the time he was drafted (He was booed on draft night) until now Donovan has doubted and disrespected. And he has also never said a word about it. I wish I were Donovan McNabb for a day. I’d say what he won’t, “Terrell Owens sucks! I can’t stand that guy. Andy Reed is still my boy. I know he had to trade me. Look Mike Vick is a beast, so it’s cool. Now Mike Shanahan on the other hand is a terrible coach. He’s overrated and red in the face. What’s that all about? How do you get that tan in Washington? Even black be people are surprised by his hue. He told me that I wasn’t going to start this weekend. I know I am not as good as I was, but don’t bring in Rex Grossman. I’d rather get traded to the Bills than lose my job to him…” I would be happy if he said anything close to that, but he hasn’t. And I don’t think that he will. So until then, you can catch McNabb this Sunday on Washington’s bench.

    I don’t know what the future holds for Donovan McNabb. I think he will play for the Arizona Cardinals next year, but beware…Max Hall will be looking over his shoulder.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 19, 2010 in Football

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kortney Shane’s College Football 2010 Season Review “Thank You Cam Newton!”


Cameron And Cecil Newton Got Paid?

Let’s begin…

My take away from this season is one thing, Cam Newton. There are other stories that I will talk about, but Newton is the main event. So let me get the undercards out of the way.

The most surprising story this year is the Texas Longhorns. Now I know they lost Colt McCoy (McCoy was their quarterback for the previous 4 years and currently holds the records for most career wins in college football. He now plays for the Cleveland Browns which I think is the highlight of his career), but you’re Texas. You’re supposed to get quarterbacks like Bill Cosby gets Jell-O pudding, “very easily.” Texas has decided to fire their offensive coordinator which is a bit of a knee jerk, but after this kind of season someone has to go. They’ll be better next year…I think so.

The most overrated portion of College Football is the Pac-10. Now before I rip the Pac-10 allow me to say I love the west coast. As a matter of fact I live in Seattle. I think there are serviceable football teams in this time zone, and some excellent quarterbacks. However this is not a great place for football. Between Google, lattes, and tree hugging there is no emotion left for sports. So to compare the Pac-10 to the SEC is about as smart as Jake Locker coming back to school another year (Even Lindsay Lohan thinks that was a bad decision). If you give the Pac-10 time and patience, they will come through below the big boys every time.

Over the last year and two months Urban has conducted a clinic on how to quit a job after success. If you didn’t attend the clinic, shame on you because it was open to the public. After two titles and Tim Tebow, Meyer saw that he was at the top of the heap. Actually it wasn’t a heap. It was more like a cliff, with mediocrity and irrelevance at the bottom. So, what does Urban do? He toys publicly with the idea of retiring (because he knew it was going to be tough to stay on top), and eventually ends up coming back for another year. Now he decides walks away after taking half a step off that cliff (He probably saw a lot of jagged rocks and Nick Saban laughing at him).

Urban Meyer said he retired from the Florida Gators to be with his family. Coaching at a high level is time consuming and unhealthy. Only thing that makes coaching worse is losing. I think it’s odd when people want to spend more time with their family as soon as their ship starts sinking. I’m not going to say he is lying. I will say he hasn’t coached his last game. “Urban thanks for showing the public how to get out. Now get in there and coach the Denver Broncos.”

Finally we arrive, Cam Newton!

First let’s get something straight. Cameron Newton got paid to play college football…now let’s move on.

For the last year I’ve been trying to think of a way to pay college players without creating a competitive advantage for NCAA teams (if you have any suggestions email me). Amidst my struggle, here come Cam Newton and his pops. Until I figure that out I want to formally adopt Cecil Newton’s (Cam’s father (I like to call him Don King Jr)) pay for play scheme. So, until I figure out a solution, “Parents are the only people allowed to negotiate contracts for college athletes. It’s only right that kids get paid. Now excuse me…I have to figure out how to keep Boise State out of the BCS.”

Cameron Newton has game. Anyone would like to have a player like him on their team. I watched this guy week after week trying to find the flaws in his game, and every week I ended up disappointed. I would mumble under my breath, “There’s no way a guy could win with a team that bad. His coach is Gene Chizik for goodness sake. Prior to this year his record was 13-24.”

I am skeptical about how much he will win as an NFL quarterback, because the guy has a lot of LeBron James in him (You win big individually but you can never quite get over the hump and win championships at the highest level). During an interview he uttered the phrase, “…I also told him. I was going to take my talents to Auburn.” That phrase should be on the ban list in the “Good P.R. Handbook.” Stop with the “taking of talents.” Especially is you’ve already stole a laptop, cheated on a test, and lied to the NCAA. How about you take the money from Auburn and go to the NFL.

The college football season was good. I could have done without all the Pac-10 breakdowns and BCS debate shows. The only thing that pisses me off more than the BCS, is people that debate it at nauseam. We all get it the BCS stinks, but it’s not going away. Treat the BCS like a spouse that you owe a lifetime of alimony. The only way to stop it is to kill it. So let’s be quiet until it dies.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
1 Comment

Posted by on December 10, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 14


The SEC Championship Is This Saturday. Is Cam Newton Ready?

Let’s begin…

    There’s a lot to talk about.

There’s only one appropriate place to start…Boise State. What happened? As soon as I got on the Boise State bandwagon, the wheels fell off. Maybe the kicker shanked the wheels off? I’m not going to ask how he missed a game winning kick, because I saw his form. By him missing that kick Boise not only missed a chance at a title game, but they also missed out on about $9 million dollars (that’s the money you get for a BCS game appearance, and if you’re wondering the players don’t get any of it. I know that was stressing you out. That’s why I’m here). With that kind of financial hit, I wonder how Boise State is going to afford to paint their field blue.

I completely whiffed on the Auburn vs. Alabama game. I don’t know if Alabama knows, but there is a second half. I’m still waiting for the team that played in the first half to come out of the locker room. I think I speak for Auburn University when I say, “Cam Newton was money well spent.” If you’re going to risk you integrity on someone, risk it on a player that can get you to the title game. I think Auburn should thank Pete Carroll for the blueprint. I suggest they send him a Christmas card.

I want someone to explain to me why TCU went to the Big East. The automatic bid into a BCS bowl game is attractive, but the Big East is terrible. I hate to break the news, but TCU is not any closer to a championship game. As a matter of fact I think it’s easier for them to win a championship now. If I were TCU I would stay in the Mountain West, play maybe two good teams a year, and let everyone else be pissed off because I stole a bowl bid.

My game of the week is the South Carolina Gamecocks vs. the Auburn Tigers

Breakdown

There’s no need to breakdown this game. They played in week 4 so we already know how they match up. I would like to pick South Carolina to win the game. However, it doesn’t seem that smart.

When they played earlier this year South Carolina was beating Auburn by 14 before the Tigers made a comeback and eventually won the game. So does that mean Auburn will win? They do have the best player in college football, and they’re undefeated. At the same time their coaching stinks, and they’ve been winning by comeback victories. Eventually luck will run out…will it run out Saturday?

These teams are even. I have a rule of thumb when college teams are even (rule of thumb? What was that?). Go with the best coach. I’m going with Steve Spurrier.

Gamecocks win, 27 – 23

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: