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Kortney Shane’s College Football 2010 Season Review “Thank You Cam Newton!”


Cameron And Cecil Newton Got Paid?

Let’s begin…

My take away from this season is one thing, Cam Newton. There are other stories that I will talk about, but Newton is the main event. So let me get the undercards out of the way.

The most surprising story this year is the Texas Longhorns. Now I know they lost Colt McCoy (McCoy was their quarterback for the previous 4 years and currently holds the records for most career wins in college football. He now plays for the Cleveland Browns which I think is the highlight of his career), but you’re Texas. You’re supposed to get quarterbacks like Bill Cosby gets Jell-O pudding, “very easily.” Texas has decided to fire their offensive coordinator which is a bit of a knee jerk, but after this kind of season someone has to go. They’ll be better next year…I think so.

The most overrated portion of College Football is the Pac-10. Now before I rip the Pac-10 allow me to say I love the west coast. As a matter of fact I live in Seattle. I think there are serviceable football teams in this time zone, and some excellent quarterbacks. However this is not a great place for football. Between Google, lattes, and tree hugging there is no emotion left for sports. So to compare the Pac-10 to the SEC is about as smart as Jake Locker coming back to school another year (Even Lindsay Lohan thinks that was a bad decision). If you give the Pac-10 time and patience, they will come through below the big boys every time.

Over the last year and two months Urban has conducted a clinic on how to quit a job after success. If you didn’t attend the clinic, shame on you because it was open to the public. After two titles and Tim Tebow, Meyer saw that he was at the top of the heap. Actually it wasn’t a heap. It was more like a cliff, with mediocrity and irrelevance at the bottom. So, what does Urban do? He toys publicly with the idea of retiring (because he knew it was going to be tough to stay on top), and eventually ends up coming back for another year. Now he decides walks away after taking half a step off that cliff (He probably saw a lot of jagged rocks and Nick Saban laughing at him).

Urban Meyer said he retired from the Florida Gators to be with his family. Coaching at a high level is time consuming and unhealthy. Only thing that makes coaching worse is losing. I think it’s odd when people want to spend more time with their family as soon as their ship starts sinking. I’m not going to say he is lying. I will say he hasn’t coached his last game. “Urban thanks for showing the public how to get out. Now get in there and coach the Denver Broncos.”

Finally we arrive, Cam Newton!

First let’s get something straight. Cameron Newton got paid to play college football…now let’s move on.

For the last year I’ve been trying to think of a way to pay college players without creating a competitive advantage for NCAA teams (if you have any suggestions email me). Amidst my struggle, here come Cam Newton and his pops. Until I figure that out I want to formally adopt Cecil Newton’s (Cam’s father (I like to call him Don King Jr)) pay for play scheme. So, until I figure out a solution, “Parents are the only people allowed to negotiate contracts for college athletes. It’s only right that kids get paid. Now excuse me…I have to figure out how to keep Boise State out of the BCS.”

Cameron Newton has game. Anyone would like to have a player like him on their team. I watched this guy week after week trying to find the flaws in his game, and every week I ended up disappointed. I would mumble under my breath, “There’s no way a guy could win with a team that bad. His coach is Gene Chizik for goodness sake. Prior to this year his record was 13-24.”

I am skeptical about how much he will win as an NFL quarterback, because the guy has a lot of LeBron James in him (You win big individually but you can never quite get over the hump and win championships at the highest level). During an interview he uttered the phrase, “…I also told him. I was going to take my talents to Auburn.” That phrase should be on the ban list in the “Good P.R. Handbook.” Stop with the “taking of talents.” Especially is you’ve already stole a laptop, cheated on a test, and lied to the NCAA. How about you take the money from Auburn and go to the NFL.

The college football season was good. I could have done without all the Pac-10 breakdowns and BCS debate shows. The only thing that pisses me off more than the BCS, is people that debate it at nauseam. We all get it the BCS stinks, but it’s not going away. Treat the BCS like a spouse that you owe a lifetime of alimony. The only way to stop it is to kill it. So let’s be quiet until it dies.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on December 10, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview


 

Could This Be a Down Year For the BCS?

Let’s begin…

    This year throughout the college football season, I will be previewing each week of college football, while paying special attention to “My Game of the Week.” This means I will not be focusing on D-3, D-2, D-1AA, Tulsa, Vermont, or any Conference USA football. I will analyze and predict football games each week.

So, that’s what I will be doing. I hope you all enjoy, and as also comment and let me know what you think.

        Now let’s get to the preview.

The Top Ten according to me.

  1. Alabama
  2. Ohio State
  3. Texas
  4. Virginia Tech
  5. Florida
  6. Oklahoma
  7. Boise State
  8. Miami
  9. Iowa
  10. TCU

     

Also receiving votes: LSU, Washington, Stanford, UConn, Wisconsin, Pittsburg, Arkansas, and No one from Conference USA. USC received no votes, but…Reggie Bush is still receiving money. I think that this year will be somewhat of a down year for college football. There will be many teams that will have to opportunity to make it to a B.C.S. Bowl game. Don’t be surprised if both TCU, Boise State, and Washington, make it into the B.C.S. With that being said, I think there are 3 teams that could possibly win the championship.

Conference Previews From East to West

                Big East: I’m going to pick the USF Bulls to finish first. I love their coach, I like their location (Florida schools can ball. I don’t know if you’ve noticed), and that’s the worst B.C.S. Conference.

ACC: Virginia Tech will win the ACC. I do think that Miami has the most talent. However, the talent is too young, and young talent in Miami can be a bad combination. Give them another year, and I think they could make a National Championship run.

SEC: The SEC will be won by Alabama. They’re the best team so why not.

Big Ten: Ohio State is once again the class of the Big Ten, and the will win the Conference title for the 6th straight year. The bigger question is will they lose a Big Ten game and Jeopardize their title chances.

Big 12: Texas will win the Big 12. This is definitely a down year for this conference, so it’s kind of hard to predict. I pick Texas because they generally recruit better talent. Plus I like their quarterback to fill Colt McCoy‘s shoes, better than Oklahoma filling Sam Bradford’s shoes.

Pac-10: This conference is definitely the most wide open. If not for the sanctions that USC will be facing for the next 2 years, I would pick them hands down. However, because of the sanctions Washington, Stanford, Arizona State, and Oregon have a real chance to dominate. With all that being said talent wins in college sports. That’s why I’m picking the USC Trojans to win the Pac-10. They just have a better team than everyone else. There biggest road block will be keeping their players motivated to play, while knowing they won’t be rewarded with post season play.

Everyone Else: Obviously you have to keep an Eye on Boise State. You don’t need me to tell you they have an oppurtnity to make history, by being the first non-B.C.S. school to play in the championship game. TCU is another team that I love. I definitely think they will make it to another BCS bowl game. Notre Dame will continue to be terrible. Notre Dame Apologist will tell you their building a team and they recruit top players. Well if that’s true, why don’t you win? Boise State wins, and they (supposedly) recruit lesser talent. Notre Dame will only win this year if they finally embrace what they are, a team that has limited talent, and must rely on a change of pace game.

Big Winners and Big Losers

    The big winners this season will be

The SEC: They will continue to show their dominance.

The Big Ten: This year they will reestablish themselves as the second best conference in the country.

The Heisman Trophy winner will be Terrelle Pryor

        The Best college player will be Julio Jones

    The Big Losers

        The Michigan Wolverines, if I were Rich Rodriguez I would rent and not buy. “Hey Rich, your rents do.”

        USC will be a loser, because of the post season ban. The amount of money and recruits they will lose could really hurt them in the future.

        The BCS Bowl system will be a loser. After all the bad publicity they’ll get this season, I don’t know how they win…unless everyone watches all the games? MY bad, the BCS is still a winner.

Small conference will be the big loser, because after all the publicity Boise State, TCU, and Utah get this season. They will no longer have a need for you. Those teams will leave for bigger and better conferences, rendering the WAC and MWC even more irrelevant than they already are. Personally I thought that was impossible, but if you have faith, scrubs always come through.

    

So, that’s what will happen this season. Feel free to react with a comment, or just continue to mumble under your breathe.

And by the way, The Ohio State Buckeyes will be National Champions.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 26, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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