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The Cleveland Cavaliers Send Miami’s Talents Back To South Beach


Cavalier fans say, "Get Out!"

Let’s begin…

The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat last night.

Now I know it’s just one win for a team that is terrible. A team in the Cavaliers that have no chance at the playoff this year, and probably even next year. With that being said, do you think that’s going to stop me from overeating? This post is for Cleveland fans that have been slowly slitting their wrist for the last 3 months. If you’re not a Cavs fan you may want to sit this post out, but thank you for clicking it, because I still get the credit for the hit. I am a Cleveland fan, and ya boy is about to represent.

    The Cavs played nasty last night. They fouled hard and didn’t back down when challenged by Miami (thank you Ryan Hollins for not backing down the Dwyane Wade. You are now my twitter avatar, “You’re Welcome!”). They gave them what I like to call, the Zaza to Garnett treatment. I loved every second of it. The only thing that could have made last night better was post-game tears.

Now I think the Cavaliers should build on this, and become a tough team. The Cavalier organization should make a conscious effort to change their image. They can shed the frontrunner image, and embrace toughness as their mantra. Cleveland like other Midwest cities is tough. It’s full of blue collar, grind it out people. So, why not put a team out on the floor that represents your city. It just seems practical, even the owner is a tough crazy man. As a matter of fact Dan Gilbert should spark the campaign with a letter on the Cavaliers website, “Anyone down for a little Comic Sans?”

As for the Miami Heat, this game was probably an admiration. They are better than the Cavs. However, it was interesting to see their response in a playoff like atmosphere. They seemed disinterested, and a little caught off guard. If I were a Heat fan I would be concerned, because this is another game where Miami got punched and didn’t respond.

Miami is supposed to be gearing up for the playoffs. They should be firing on all cylinders by now, poised to make a title run. However they have yet to solve the problem that has been hanging over them this entire season. They still aren’t executing in the half court consistently.

Playoff basketball is all about half court execution (Unless you’re playing the Dallas Mavericks in 2007). Teams that rely on the fast break don’t win in the playoffs (Please see Mike D’Antoni’s playoff record). So as the playoffs approach Miami has to get their game on point.

With that being said, the Cavs win! It’s a beautiful day in Cleveland. They have officially broken up with their ex-girlfriend. She may have left for someone better, but they have the car and the house. There is only one way to sum up the way the city of Cleveland feels today, “The world is better now because the Heat is losing.” (Courtesy of Dwyane Wade).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on March 30, 2011 in Basketball, Uncategorized

 

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NBA Trade Deadline: Credit LeBron James “The Trend Setter” and What Was Danny Ainge Thinking?


Let’s begin…

    Who would have thought a kid from Akron Ohio would change the landscape of the NBA with a one hour television special (that special could have lasted 2 minutes, but you have to add 58 minutes for Narcissism, Jim Gray, and the statement, “I’m Taking My Talents To South Beach” But hey, he did it for the kids…Trick love the kids). After LeBron James’ decision, there was universal criticism for what he did to the city of Cleveland, and justifiably so. Now I think it’s time to give LeBron James and Dwyane Wade some credit for being visionaries.

When Pat Riley formed the new look Miami Heat this offseason. He put the NBA on notice, and loudly said, “This is how the games, is going to be played.” Players and GMs took notice and the Superstar Trading Spree kicked into high gear. Now 8 months later Carmelo Anthony and Deron Williams are already on the move to another city. Why…because the Nuggets and Jazz didn’t want to end up like the Cavaliers (By the way the New Orleans Hornets and Orlando Magic are on notice). The winners in those trade scenarios were the New Jersey Nets and the New York Knicks, but will their respective moves lead to a championship.

Despite the trades the Knicks and Nets have made, they’re still playing catch up to the Miami Heat. Not only does Miami have two hall of fame players, but they also have a hall of fame coach overlooking basketball operations. That’s something that neither New York nor New Jersey will be able to duplicate anytime in the near future. In addition to that, the new collective bargaining agreement is looming in the horizon. It’s inevitable that the new CBA will have regulations to prevent super teams like the one constructed in Miami. So, “Good luck to the Knicks and Nets, but I’d keep those championship rings on a wish list.”

I planned on stopping my post right here. As a matter of fact I had this written yesterday. I thought I was finish. Until…I woke up and big Baron Davis was on my television screen smiling with his homeless man’s beard. Underneath his picture it read that he was trade to the Cavs. So, I couldn’t resist weighing in on my man B.D. For the amount of money that Davis has stolen over the past 2 years this is justice. He’s always out of shape and would have eaten himself out of the league in Shawn Kemp like fashion, if not for Blake Griffin rejuvenating him. So Blake Griffin shows up this year. Baron embraces him, and even helps him win the dunk contest. Now the Clippers actually have the buzz that owner Donald Sterling wanted when he acquired Baron Davis 2 years ago, and what happens next…Baron and his beard are shipped to Lake Erie for Mo Williams. How pissed are you if you go to bed in L.A. and wake up in Shaker Heights. I mad just thinking about it. Then again I’m a Cavaliers fan so I’ve been pissed since June.

The other trade that caught my attention today was the Boston Celtics sending Kendrick Perkins to the Oklahoma City Thunder for Jeff Green and Nenad Krstic. This is a great trade for Oklahoma City, and if they’re able to resign him, it will make them championship contenders for years to come. So, I know why the Thunder did this, and I applaud them. Now what the hell was Danny Ainge thinking? I’ve never been convinced of his skills as a General Manager, but who thought he would expose himself with a championship on the line? The Celtics are a championship team with Perkins, so why would they trade him for Nenad Krstic. There are only two reasons to excuse this trade. The first reason is that the Celtics believe they can’t resign Kendrick Perkins (he has already turned down a deal from the Celtics this year). The other reason is Ainge still owes Sam Presti for the robber he helped him pull off when he gave him Ray Allen in 2007. Personally I believe they wouldn’t have been able to keep Kendrick Perkins, but under this circumstance, you don’t jeopardize a championship. I never thought I would say this, but the Heat have a great chance to win a championship this year.

Now excuse while I go on EBay and place a bid on a Baron Davis jersey.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2011 in Basketball

 

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What No One Is Saying About The Cleveland Cavaliers 25 Game Losing Streak


There Is Nothing But Frustration In Cleveland

Let’s begin…

Now that the Cavaliers have set the record for longest losing streak in NBA history, I think it’s the perfect time to weigh in with some perspective (I didn’t want to talk about it before it happened, because I didn’t want to jinx the streak). For everyone that couldn’t understand why people in Cleveland were crying and burning LeBron‘s jersey after the decision…do you understand now? With that being said, don’t be fooled by what you hear. People talk about how the impact of LeBron is the reason why Cavaliers are losing, and that’s just not completely true. No player in the history of organized basketball is worth 60 wins. It’s easy to dismiss the Cleveland Cavaliers as a team that can’t win without their star player, but let’s examine the whole story.

The Cavs lost the best player in the NBA during free agency. I’m not going to argue that. As a matter of fact I think LeBron should get another MVP this year just for carrying that team for the last 7 years. What many people don’t talk about is that they also lost Delonte West, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Shaquille O’Neal during free agency (What? Did I really just throw Zydrunas Ilgauskas in there as a loss? We may disagree with on Ilgauskas, but I think we can all agree that Delonte’s guns will never be replaced). Couple that with injuries to Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao, and you have a team that could lose 25 games in a row. There is only one player currently playing for the Cavaliers that was a starter for the opening game of the 2009 – 2010 season. So it’s just lazy to say LeBron James is main reason why the Cavs are losing.

What’s happening to the Cleveland Cavaliers is extraordinary. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I have absolutely no faith in their ability to win. I would rather bet on a 6 year soccer team, before I bet the Cavs to cover in a parlay. At the same time if you know anything about the Cavaliers this shouldn’t be shocking (that was a dumb statement by me. I don’t know why the average person would know anything about the Cavs. There people in jail that have better things to do). The good thing is I’m a Cleveland fan, so I will break it down for you (Oh it just keeps getting better).

The Cavaliers struggled throughout the early 80s until they landed Brad Daugherty, Mark Price, Ron Harper and Larry Nance in 1986. The Cavs would be competitive for the next 6 years, and even reach the Eastern Conference Finals. When Cleveland’s core begin to age and retire the Cavs started to struggle again. From 1993 – 2003 they would wallow in mediocrity and never win a playoff series. In 2003 Cleveland drafted LeBron James, and we all know what happened after that. The Cavs would become one of the marquee teams in the NBA, and perennial title contender. After a one championship appearance and a decision, the Cavs were broken up. Now the Cavs are in there traditional low period, but how long will it last (This is where I come in. Watch me save the day)?

The Cavs need to finish what the “The Decision” started, and exile the rest of their core to South Beach. Everything incorporated with the LeBron James era needs to be severed, in order to create a new identity. They can start by either trading or buying out Anderson Varejao, Daniel Gibson, and maybe even Mo Williams. I say maybe Mo because he was not a part of Cleveland teams that had playoff success. I also think he would be an asset worth keeping if the Cavs can rebuild fast enough. They also need to sever ties with Anthony Parker and Antawn Jamison. They can wait on Parker, but I think they should trade Jamison now. Dude has about 4 days of Cavalier basketball left in him. I think they could do him and themselves a favor if they let him go. That would leave the Cleveland Cavaliers with a core of J.J. Hickson and Mo Williams. If they couple that with their lottery pick and trade acquisitions, the Cavaliers could be back in the playoffs in 2 years. Will they be title contenders in 6 years? I don’t know. What I do know is they won’t be losing 25 games in a row.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Emergency Post: LeBron James Talks Contraction “Child Please”


Should James Stop Talking?

Let’s begin…

At what point is, “I’m just a young kid” no longer a valid excuse for making a bad decision? I think it’s at the age of 25 or whenever you start making adult decisions. Whichever comes first.

I’m just a young kid is LeBron James‘ go to move. More than his step back jumper, or a dunk in traffic. He loves to tell you how young and innocent he is.

In the latest edition of I’m just a kid. James made a comment over the weekend where he supports the idea of contraction, and all-stars teaming up in the NBA (personally I agree with the statement, because of the level of incompetence in certain organizations. Can you say, L.A. Clippers)? He stated that it would be a better league, because teams would be more competitive.

This statement is unpopular because people around the league will lose jobs, and the players union is trying to negotiate a deal with the NBA. The players union wants to get their clients the most money possible. In order to receive that money you have to show that the league is profitable and the players deserve a huge chunk. So, if teams are contracted it shows that teams aren’t profitable, and it hinders the players negotiating power. In conclusion LeBron helped the other team, which isn’t the first time. Please see 2010 playoff Boston game 5.

When LeBron was questioned about his comments he said, “I don’t even know what the word contraction means…” Really…you want me to believe you made it to the age of 26 without knowing the definition of contraction. Come on man. Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining because sooner or later I’m going to taste the salt.

If LeBron just came out and said I’m a douche people would respect him more. And if you don’t know what words mean, STOP TALKING. Take a page out of the Michael Jordan Hand Book For P.R. Dummies and say nothing (Jordan never took a stand on anything. You could ask him if Wheaties truly was the breakfast of champions and he’d plead the fifth). Everyday I’m happier he left Cleveland, and took his talents to South beach…another “I’m just a kid” move.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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LeBron James Made The Right Decision. I Just Wish He Would Take His Goons With Him.


Who Knew LeBron James Still Had Teamates That Play For The Cavaliers

Who Knew LeBron James Still Had Teamates That Play For The Cavaliers

Let’s begin…

    So that happened!

    I wasn’t surprised about the outcome of the Miami Heat and Cleveland Cavaliers game Thursday night. LeBron James had a great game in his return to Cleveland. He scored 38 points in the first 3 quarters, as the Heat routed the Cavaliers (He didn’t play the fourth quarter. I think he was busy laughing at the people that thought it would be a good game). That’s what you’re supposed to do when Jamario Moon is guarding you. Moon couldn’t stop a faucet from running, so what makes you think he could stop LeBron James?

    What did surprise me was the way Daniel Gibson, Jawad Williams, and Anderson Varejao treated LeBron. They hugged and joked with him like they were still playing on the same team. Halfway through the first quarter I couldn’t figure out if the crowd was booing LeBron, or the dopes on the Cavs bench. I have never been able to figure out how people have fun getting their ass kicked.

Dan Gilbert (Cavaliers owner) did not return to his seats in the second half. I hope he was in his office doing shots of jack, trying to figure out how to trade LeBron goons. I will personally donate $50 and a bag of Sun Chips towards the effort.

Several times during the second half LeBron taunted the Cavs bench. I was waiting for someone to stand up and do something about it, but they laughed it off, “Oh that’s Bron being Bron. Yeah, he’s kicking our teeth in, but look at all the fun we’re having.” And that’s when it hit me, LeBron James was right to leave.

Occasionally I will run into someone, and as soon as they find out I’m from Cleveland Ohio (My family moved to Florida when I was ten. That means my father was the first to take his talents to Florida.), they ask me what I think about LeBron James. I usually say, “I have no problem with his decision. I would have left as well. My problem is he made it into a television show.” The problem is they can hear the venom in my voice, see my change in posture. I speak for sports fans in Cleveland when I say. LeBron James was more than a small forward for the Cavaliers. He was hope for a city that is desperate to win.

Hope is dangerous to have in sports. It’s something that makes you believe, but when it leaves it can make you hate that you ever had it (For everyone outside of Cleveland, imagine how you felt when Obama was elected. Now imagine the economic downturn afterwards…welcome to Cleveland). Cleveland is a city that has seen their chances at a championship folded, fumbled, and driven away. LeBron “Taking his talents to South Beach” was just another punch to the gut. That’s a punch that 7 million people got to see the results of on Thursday night.

    Now that Miami beat Cleveland everyone wants to know what it means. It means nothing! The Cleveland Cavaliers are a bad team that got embarrassed by a good team. Miami will win in between 45 and 50 games, before they flame out in the second round of the playoffs. The Heat will not be a championship team until they make a decision at point guard and obtain a strong inside presence. Speaking of an inside presence, where the hell was Eric Dampier? I thought he was the second coming. The guy that was going to help the Heat win the 7 championships LeBron promised. I guess sometime after they signed him and before the Thursday night, the Heat realized, “We signed Eric Dampier? The same Eric Dampier that averaged 5 points and 6 rebounds in the 2006 playoffs…that guy sucks!” (In 2006 the Heat beat the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals. At least Dampier helped Miami win one championship). The Heat will be a true Championship contender in a couple years. By that time it I wonder if Cleveland will have new hope to cling on to.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 4, 2010 in Basketball

 

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This Thursday LeBron James’ Talents Will Be In Cleveland Ohio


This Thursday December 2nd LeBron Will Be In Cleveland, But Will He Bring His Powder?

Let’s begin…

On December 2nd at 8pm TNT will have my undivided attention. LeBron James and his talents will be in Cleveland Ohio at the Quicken Loans Arena.

Now this is great for me. I’m a Cleveland sports fan, and this is one of two times i will be able to see my team on television. I will also get to see the smile on Dan Gilbert‘s face as the city of Cleveland welcomes LeBron. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gilbert flies in Delonte West and seats him behind the Miami’s bench.

Now I’m not delusional. I’m expecting Cleveland to not only lose but be dominated by Miami. I expect LeBron to channel is inner Wilt Chamberlain, and go for 100 points.

I also think the Cleveland Arena to be the ugliest scene in the NBA since the malice in the palace. I think beers and batteries will be thrown. I believe the over under on in game interruptions sits at 3 (and I’m taking the over). I only have one request from Cleveland fans. At some point in the game I want everyone to stand up, grab their elbow, and chant, “Game 5, Game 5, Game 5.”

After this summer I’m not sure how smart LeBron James is. I know LeBron James the publicist, should not only be fired, but he should be pelted with common sense. Many people believe his public image can’t get lower. However, I believe his public image elevator could find a trap door in the basement if he decides to throws chalk up into the air Thursday night.

LeBron James has no perception of reality (If you don’t know that, you’re just not paying attention). Why don’t we take a look at the past? He wore a Yankees cap to an Indians home playoff game, and dismissed it by saying he grew up a Yankees fan. When he was called out for quitting on his team, he used his elbow as an excuse. And he used a $2.5 million dollar donation to the Boys and Girls Club, as a pawn in his narcissistic approach to “The Decision”. The public could accept his excuses as fact, because he was able to hide any malicious intent. However, that will change if on December 2nd, he continues his pregame tradition of tossing chalk into the air (a tradition that belong to Kevin Garnett before him and Michael Jordan before him). That action will not only be a kick in the groin for Cleveland, but it will be an unveiling of the character of someone that was idolized. Someone who would like you to believe he’s a kid that has just made some mistakes.

There are times when you have to deal with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. On December 2nd LeBron James will walk into his ex-boyfriend’s house with his new lover. He should be proud of what he has now, but don’t forget about who use to love you. Respect the fans, take the boos, and for goodness sake don’t throw powder in their faces.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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