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“Derrick Rose is this era’s MJ”…Time For A Reality Check.


Is Rose the MVP?

Let’s begin…

Derrick Rose is the next coming of some Zeus like basketball figure. He’s the greatest ever. “Derrick Rose is this mixture between Michael Jordan and Brock Lesnar. I literally don’t know how you stop him!” Well I’d just let him take jump shots because dude can’t shoot.

Alright let’s come down to reality (For all you with you Rose colored shades on. Reality is the place where the grass is green and the best player in basketball has a jump shot). Before I shred Derrick Rose I want to say he is a great player.

Now contrary to popular belief, Derrick Rose is not the best thing since sliced bread. This, “best player in the league stuff” is garbage. He’s barely even top 10 (Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Dirk Nowitzki, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, and Kevin Durant are all ahead of him). Of course if you’ve been listening to sports radio for the last 4 months you wouldn’t know that. The media is treating Rose like he’s actually won something. The other day I heard someone say, “Rose is the most athletic point guard ever.” Take it Easy. Allow me to introduce you to a guy by the name of Allen Iverson. At Iverson’s size and position, there has never been someone more athletic than him. I would even argue that Steve Nash is a more athletic point guard than Derrick Rose (before you kill me for that statement. Take into account that he was a star soccer and rugby player in high school). So, to call Derrick Rose the most athletic point guard ever is just lazy and asinine.

Derrick Rose is not the MVP of the league. It is well known that he’s is going to win the MVP, but so what (that was very unprofessional. Dock me all the journalist points that I’ve never had). We all watched the games, and he wasn’t the best player. You can say that it’s subjective, but there’s not an argument you can make in favor of Rose winning the MVP over LeBron James or Dwight Howard. The truth of the matter is, there are two reasons he’s going to win the MVP, and neither of them have anything to do with him. First every writer hates what LeBron James did this offseason, and they’re dead set on not rewarding him before the season started. The second reason is every writer hates what LeBron James did this offseason, and they were dead set on not rewarding him before the season started. The problem with that is LeBron isn’t the MVP this year either. So while the media allowed James to hold them emotionally hostage. They missed the true MVP this year (drum roll please), Dwight Howard.

Dwight Howard is the essence of what an MVP is. He’s the best defender (note 3 consecutive defensive players of the year) and he is the best player in the league at his position. Howard is the most irreplaceable player in the NBA. If you look at the drop off from Howard to the next best Center. It is a larger gap than Derrick Rose to the next best point guard. Especially since Rose isn’t the best point guard in the league (for the record I would put Rose 2nd this year behind Chris Paul who is top five in steals and assists. Derrick isn’t top five in any stat category). Dwight’s achievements continue to get overlooked, and I’m not sure why. Now granted I see why he didn’t win a MVP in past. Offensively he was limited, and wasn’t even the leader of his win team. You also have to take into account that he lost to LeBron James for the past two years and dude can ball. However, Dwight Howard significantly improved himself offensively while continuing his dominance on the defensive end. He carried a team that lived on 3 point shots and prayer to a top four seed in the playoff. He was top five in rebounds and blocks. He also finished 11th in points. Howard did all this while being saddled with the Orlando Magic (which included Vince Carter for 22 games, which alone is unbelievable).

Now if you still think Derrick Rose is the MVP, read the previous paragraph again.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on April 30, 2011 in Basketball

 

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2011 NBA Season Lottery Teams Rankings, MVP, and Best Team


The Heat, Lakers, and Thunder Are All Powerhouse Teams

Let’s begin…

NBA Lottery Teams, Power Rankings

The rankings are based on a combination of quality of players, expectations, and how awful the team was. I’m ranking best outcome to worse outcome.

“This is it. Don’t get scared now.”

  1. L.A. Clippers: This was clearly the best lottery team this season. They toyed with the idea of making the playoffs while being just bad enough to make it into the lottery. Couldn’t have done it better myself.
  2. Houston Rockets: This is the arguably the best team in the lottery. They obviously have some holes to fill in the front court, but they have one of the best front offices in the NBA. They will be fine. Look for them to make the playoffs next year.
  3. Milwaukee Bucks: This is a playoff team that caught some bad breaks. Look for them to get back on track next season. “Fear the Dear”
  4. Phoenix Suns: This franchise is in denial. They should have started rebuilding 3 years ago after the Shaq experience. They have to get what they can for Steve Nash and cut bait with Vince Carter as soon as possible. Do it for the kids.
  5. Golden State Warriors: I don’t even know what to call this. I think it’s a basketball team, but I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish. I’m not sure they are even trying to win games, but I love this organization, because hands down they have the best fantasy players.
  6. Utah Jazz: After losing their two best players what could you reasonably expect. If you’re a Jazz fan just pray Jimmer Fredette is off the board before the Jazz make their pick.
  7. Minnesota Timberwolves: For the talent this team had they should have won a few more games. At the same time this is Minnesota. I’m not sure they know they still have a basketball team.
  8. Sacramento Kings: Welcome to the best high school team of all time. If John Calipari were a GM this is the team he would put together. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kings end up having to vacate wins.
  9. Charlotte Bobcats: You changed coaches, traded away your best players, and Michael Jordan is your de facto GM. Other than that things are great.
  10. Washington Wizards: Your team stinks, but at least you have John Wall.
  11. Cleveland Cavaliers: “Damn” Nuff said
  12. Toronto Raptors: I know why this debacle happened, but did you have to wallow in the debacle?
  13. Detroit Pistons: I wanted to put Toronto last, but then I remembered that no one playing for the Pistons likes to organization. So I will jump off the ship with them.

My All NBA Team

C Dwight Howard

PF LaMarcus Aldridge

SF LeBron James

SG Dwyane Wade

PG Derrick Rose

I almost put Kevin Durant at shooting guard because he should be on this list.

2011 MVP

This belongs to Dwight Howard. I don’t want to hear about how Derrick Rose is so great. Look, dude isn’t even top five in the NBA (FYI top five: LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dirk Nowitzki). Don’t get me wrong he’s a good player, but he is replaceable. On the other hand no one changes the game on both ends of the floor the way Dwight Howard does. He is the most dominate force in the NBA, and the MVP.

Best Team in the NBA

The Los Angeles Lakers are the best team. It may be seen as a copout, but they’re the best. The bottom line is they would be the favorite against every other team in the NBA. They have the best closer in Kobe Bryant, and the best coach in Phil Jackson. The Lakers should win the championship.

Season Synopsis

This has been the best regular season in recent history. I think it can spark another golden age in basketball, and I want to thank LeBron James (you’ll have to excuse me for a moment I just threw up in my mouth). James and the Miami Heat changed the way originations put their teams together. Now thanks to them we have powerhouse teams in big markets (the downside is terrible teams like Toronto ad Cleveland…just threw up in my mouth again).

There are 6 teams that have a legitimate shot at winning a championship. I can’t remember the last time that was the case. Wide open playoffs should make for some excitement.

“It’s Go Time!”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2011 in Basketball

 

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New York Knicks and Carmelo Are 7-8. What Does It Mean?


The Knicks Look Like The Losers In The Melo Trade

Let’s begin…

“Hey New York! How’s that Melo saves the day thing working out?” I haven’t heard from you’ll lately. I know you’ll were once piece away from winning the championship. So, I’m wondering if Carmelo was that missing piece. Alright I will stop kicking Knicks fans in the groin, and begin my spiel.

Since Carmelo Anthony has left Denver. The Nuggets are 9-4 and the Knicks 7-8 (That’s less than .500 for the kids keeping count at home). Does this mean the Nuggets are better without Anthony? Not necessarily. It’s a small sample size, and it doesn’t indicate what a team truly is. With that being said the stat is an indicator of one important thing.

The fact that the Denver Nuggets are still trending in an upward direction indicates that Carmelo Anthony is not irreplaceable. Carmelo Anthony was overrated (I would like to take this time to say, “I saw this coming”). He is not in the class of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwight Howard, or Deron Williams. He is a great scorer in the NBA, but he’s not someone that can carry a team. To put it in Big Boi terms, “He Ain’t No DJ.”

Now that doesn’t mean you can’t win with Carmelo Anthony. As a matter of fact you should win with Anthony. It means that if you plan on winning a championship (listen up New York. I’m about to drop some knowledge) you better lower your expectations, until you build pieces around him. Once the Knicks compensate for their lack of defensive intensity, they will be primed for a title run. However, that’s not New York’s biggest road block in route to a title. There biggest problems are the Lakers, Miami, Chicago, Oklahoma City, and any team Dwight Howard plays for.

As a Cavs fan I’m envious of Denver Nuggets. They didn’t give themselves the opportunity to get screwed by their superstar in free agency the way Cleveland did. At the same time Nuggets fan could be pissed off at the Cavaliers. If somehow LeBron never leaves Cleveland, then Denver would have had the upper hand on Carmelo, because he wanted the money more than anything. He can say it was about winning, but he wanted that money almost as much as Charlie Sheen wants another rail of blow (I say almost, because I’m not sure anyone wants anything more than Sheen wants blow).

There are now three models of how to unload your superstar in the NBA.

  • South Beach Style: Leave yourself open to the possibility of your franchise players walking when there contract is up.
  • Go Utah on it: Get out in front of the rumors, and trade your superstar a year before their contract is up.
  • Mile High Way: Wait for some team to become desperate and over pay for your superstar.

The Orlando Magic and New Orleans Hornets are paying special attention to these models. Which one will they pick?

 

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?


Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 29, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Christmas Day Basketball, Featuring Juggernauts


Will The Miam Heat Hype Machine Crank Up?

Let’s begin…

I can’t wait for the Christmas, because of the slate of intriguing NBA games. I feel like I’m 7 years old again I might just sleep by the Television and wake up every 15 minutes to see if it’s 11:30 (2:30 east coast time. Allow me to show some love to the west coast here. They have to watch the Seahawks play for goodness sake. Let me throw them a bone). This has been the most exciting NBA regular season since 1995 when Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls. The NBA has star power, intrigue, and most importantly…juggernauts. If I knew all it took was a decision by LeBron to create this kind of excitement? I would have signed up for it a long time ago. I would have even help scrounge up some kids to beef up that boys’ and girls’ audience.

Now there are plenty of people opposed to the NBA as currently constructed, because of the unwatchable teams at the bottom of the league. If that’s your concern I understand (Shoot I’m a Cleveland Cavaliers‘ fan, so I feel your pain. You couldn’t pay me to watch 82 games of that). This summer I thought this would be bad for the league. Then I realized, “I’m emotionally invested in the NBA during the summer? This is great.” Do you know what’s worse than having 15 unwatchable teams? (You’re not really supposed to think about that question. That’s just a non-rhetorical question that makes me feel like I’m making a groundbreaking point “I’m dropping knowledge”)…having 2 great teams and 25 uncompelling teams that are just okay (please see the NBA 1998 – 2004).

There are 8 NBA juggernauts in this order: Boston Celtics, San Antonio Spurs, L.A. Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (tie), Chicago Bulls, and Oklahoma City Thunder (Feel free to complain). These teams have managed to make the regular season mean something, when it means nothing at all. I would argue out of all professional sports, basketball’s regular season means the least. In the last 10 years only 2 teams have led the regular season in wins and went on to win the championship. So, these Christmas day games are going to be great, but outcome it really doesn’t, unless Miami wins by double digits.

If the Miami Heat beat the L.A. Lakers convincingly; ESPN, VS, and even The Food Network, will re-fire the hype machine. You remember that machine…the one that continues to show the first 30 seconds of the decision, followed by the championship celebration in Miami the next day. It’s been out of order ever since Boston beat Miami for the second time and LeBron accidently bumped his coach on purpose. I don’t expect the out of order sign to come off of that machine. Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers will be ready to play. I think Kobe’s been ready to play ever since Miami celebrated their “9 consecutive championships” (They haven’t actually won 9 championships. Just in case some dope is looking that up). This game will be competitive, but the Lakers have too much for the Heat to deal with. Miami will lose this game, and sport networks will actually have to work for a lead story.

Enjoy the games and embrace the juggernauts. Personally I’m going to start taking Benadryl and drinking NyQuil, so I can fall asleep.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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LeBron James And Kevin Garnett Made Their Decision. Dwight Howard Is On Deck.


Dwight Howard Has A Chance To Alter His Future

Let’s begin…

    History always repeats itself, especially in sports. While the NBA’s summer of free agency captivated the sports world, I began to think about free agents of the future. I was immediately drawn to Dwight Howard (partly because I’m a Cleveland fan who was trying to avoid ESPN, and partly because I was planning my fantasy draft). The similarities between Kevin Garnett, LeBron James, and Dwight Howard are stunning. They were all: drafted out of high school, top 5 lottery picks that went to small markets, the focal of a team that became a championship contender, and eventually forced to leave…well not all of them. As of now Howard has yet to leave the franchise that drafted him. However it seems like the writing is on the wall, if he plans on winning a championship.

    If you look closely at the progress of the Orlando Magic, you will see that they are following the same pattern that all small markets do. All small markets have the same pattern. They draft a franchise player and surround him with average roll players, eventually the team tops out as a championship contender, and over the next few years they slowly begin to digress. Somewhere in between that process the team hopes to sign their franchise player to a long-term deal. This is the problem that Dwight Howard is beginning to face. Will he leave Orlando? I don’t know. Some before him have decided to stay (please see Dominique Wilkins, Patrick Ewing, and Reggie Miller).

    I think he should leave. He doesn’t have to take his talents to South Beach, but I don’t see him winning a championship in Orlando. The formula to winning a championship is clear. If you don’t get to play for the Celtics or the Lakers, you have to find a way to play with another Hall of Fame player. If Orlando cannot create that formula within the next three year, it would be wise for Dwight Howard to leave Orlando. I wonder how he would look in a Boston Celtics uniform?

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on October 25, 2010 in Basketball

 

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“Taking Your Talents to South Beach” Chris Paul Will Make it A Trend


LeBron and Paul Have More Than Frienship in Common

Let’s begin…

So there’s a report out in regard to Chris Paul. According to Chris Broussard, Chris Paul has request a trade from the New Orleans Hornets. Hi preferred destinations are said to be New York, Portland, and Orlando which is said to be a top that list. I think Paul’s request was caused by the decision that the Heat’s small forward made, and it may even reveal why he made the move. He’s said to be “best friends” with Chris Paul (I had to put best friends in parenthesis, because James (used his name) is best friends with everyone. He’s best friends with Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Jay-Z, Donald Trump, Warren Buffet…he’s probably best friends with Mel Brooks (the alcoholic not the comedian). Chris Paul and LeBron (did it again) had conversations about where they would play their respective careers. So, that leads me to believe that they both knew each other was thinking about leaving their respective teams before LeBron (I give up) made his decision. And if you didn’t know that, you’re just not paying attention. So, maybe LeBron made his decision to stay ahead of the curve. Maybe Chris Paul decided to leave now, and exercise his power, after he saw it was possible to pull off. I side with the later. I think players say think about what it would be like to play with another great player, but because of the salary cap they don’t think it will happen. However, this summer that was proved wrong.

    I hope that Chris Paul ends up playing for the Orlando Magic. Now as a Cleveland sports fan I’m a little torn, because I see what James leaving did to a city. At the same time the duty of a true fan is to wish vengeance on a player that doesn’t leave the right way. And what better way to wish vengeance than to hope Chris Paul plays in Orlando. Just imagine LeBron tries to back door his way into a championship, but wait a minute. Chris Paul and Dwight Howard form the Magic 2. Not only are the Magic younger, but the team is better. So you spin this forward 3 years, and Miami hasn’t won a championship. There’s dissension among the Heat, Pat Riley comes back, and Van Gundy is smiling. Imagine the hysteria and the backlash. I can see it right now. LeBron takes an hour out of ESPN, he’s at a Sports Authority in Las Vegas, he donating the money to Hookers, and he says, “This fall I have decided to take my talents to Venice Beach, and play for the L.A. Lakers.”

    This summer things have changed in the NBA. For the last 10 years everyone has been trying to find the next Michael Jordan. “Who’s going to take over?” We’ve been reaching for what the NBA was going to be. “Well now we have arrived at an answer. The NBA is now the league of super powers. Stop looking for the next Michael Jordan, because he won’t be here for another 15 years. Instead embrace the supper teams. For the next 10 years the NBA will be reminiscent to the 70s and 80s. It will become the undisputed number two sport in America, and become must see T.V.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

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Posted by on July 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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