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The 2011 NCAA Tournament; Seth Greenberg And Virginia Tech Denied Again


Seth Greenberg Is The Face For All Bubbles Teams

Let’s begin…

It’s NCAA Tournament time.

This year’s tournament is full of the usual suspects. You have UCLA, Arizona, UConn, and Syracuse. In addition you have the normal amount of terrible teams complaining about why they should have gotten in. The argument for bubble teams that got left out is always ridiculous. It’s just bad teams complaining because other bad team got in over them. That’s like a parent arguing because a kid dumber their kid got into truck driving school. “Who cares? You both stink, and if you would have gotten in, you would have lost in the first round anyway. So stop whining and enjoy the NIT.” Never the less there’s always a group of teams that find a way to complain, and who better for the face of complainers than Seth Greenberg.

As usual Virginia Tech was shut out of the NCAA Tournament, and as usual Seth Greenberg is lobbying for why Tech should be in the Tournament. I don’t know why Greenberg or anyone at Virginia Tech is surprised. It happens to them every year. The Hokies getting left out is as routine as the sun coming up, and Charlie Sheen doing blow. I think we should turn it into a National holiday. We could throw a parade, LeBron James could bring smoke and balloons, Don Magic Juan could bring his green hat. It would be great.

Here’s the secret that bubbles teams need to learn if they want to be in the Tournament, “Win Games.” That’s all you have to do. I have no sympathy for teams that get left out. I actually think the tournament field should be contracted to get rid of more terrible teams.

Now it’s time for brackets.

I have pasted my bracket below. Come play along with me for free on ESPN.com. Fill out your bracket and add my group The Kortney Shane Pillar Blog.

My Bracket Is Always Subject To Change

 

I’m not going to break down my brackets round by round, because you can read. Unless you’re related to Fantasia from American Idol (I don’t know if you heard, but word on the street is baby girl can’t read, or sustain a long term career). What I will say is watch out for the Florida Gators and Kansas State. Those are the two teams no one is talking about that could win the title.

I have heard analyst talk about how the Gators are over seeded, but that’s a good basketball teams. They also have a great coach in Billy Donovan that since 2000, has led Florida to three title games, and two championships.

Kansas State is also a good basketball team. Their biggest problem is that their coach, Frank Martin is a psychopath. I’m expecting his head to pop off like one of those Rock’em Sock’em Robots. He’s a good coach, but his style could wear down his team mentally (That is how you play both sides of the fence my friend).

Enjoy the tournament, and join my group The Kortney Shane Pillar Blog on ESPN.com.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on March 16, 2011 in Basketball, College Sports

 

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Emergency Post: “Make Way For Bill Cowher!”


Let’s begin…

Can we please stop with the Bill Cowher mania! He’s a good coach. I repeat, a good coach. He’s not exceptional by any stretch of the imagination. So I can’t figure why everybody is treating him like Vince Lombardi. Cowher is not going to turn around anybody’s franchise. He can get you over the hump if your team is ready to win, but what is that saying. If that’s what you’re looking for save 20 million dollars and higher Barry Switzer (In my opinion Switzer is a better coach than Cowher. That’s right I said it. Now give me time to put the cap back on this banana cognac).

Bill Cowher is going to get a head coaching job (probably in Miami) and he’s going to be over paid (just like 20 other NFL coaches). This doesn’t make him a bad hire (it would be a good hire for certain teams), it just makes him another NFL coach. So let’s stop treating him like the Dali Lama. This is an above average NFL coach trying to get a job. Treat him like Brian Billick, John Gruden, Jason Garrett, Leslie Frazier, and Urban Meyer (That’s right I said it).

Now let me get back to doing something important.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2010 in Football, NFL

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: BCS Bowl Games 2010


Let’s begin…

First read the headline…now read it again. That means I will not be breaking down 6-5 teams playing in the Top Ramen bowl (I’d rather talk about high school volleyball). So this is my apology to fans of irrelevant teams, playing in irrelevant games.

Here are my picks for compelling non BCS bowl games

Boise State beats Utah

Now let’s move on.

Fiesta Bowl

Connecticut Huskies vs. Oklahoma Sooners

The Huskies are going to get their doors blown off. I’m not going to waste my time explaining why. My only question in regard to this game is…why does the Big East have an automatic bid. I don’t know why they can’t allow the 4th automatic bid to go to the highest ranked BCS team, who’s Conference is not already represented in a BCS bowl games (So this year TCU would have got the automatic bid, and that would have made way for Boise State to play in a BCS bowl).

Oklahoma win, 40 – 10

Orange Bowl

Virginia Tech Hokies vs. Stanford Cardinals

I’m telling you don’t buy the hype. That should be the title for this game and all the BCS bowl games for that matter. Everybody has been talking about how great Stanford and Andrew Luck are, it makes you believe they’re actually a good team. I hate to break the news (I’m lying right there. I love breaking news, especially when it makes me look good) but Stanford isn’t that good. Now before you tell me about how John Harbough is an NFL coach and Andrew Luck is the best quarterback since Nute Rockney. Allow me to ask you a question…who have they beat (Don’t worry I will give you time to think. I know it takes a while to mentally sift through all those Pac-10 juggernauts. By the way the Pac-10 is the most overrated conference in the country).

While you’re still thinking let me address Virginia Tech. As we all know the Hokies got off to a rough start. After losing to Boise State to open the season, they lost to James Madison (I know some of you’ll are confused. You thought James Madison was only a president. Well he also plays football in Division 1-AA. Now go back to figuring out who Stanford beat). What no one talks about is how Virginia Tech hasn’t lost since then. The Hokies ran away with the Coastal Conference of the ACC, and cap their run by winning the ACC Championship.

I respect Stanford as a football team, but I haven’t seen enough to say they have been truly tested. Virginia Tech will beat (hey you guys still thinking I’m making my pick) Stanford, because overall they have better players. Stanford won’t be able to keep up with their speed.

Hokies win 30 – 24

Sugar Bowl

Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Arkansas Razorbacks

In recent history the Ohio State Buckeyes have struggled against the SEC in bowl games. The Bucks have had trouble trying to stop the spread offense. Now they did beat Oregon last year (who runs a spread offense), but maybe it was in admiration.

The Arkansas Razorbacks are a good team that has proved themselves in the SEC. They have an NFL quarterback and a serviceable coach. However they’re not that good. Now I give them credit for over achieving, but Ohio State isn’t going to give them any. “So congratulations Arkansas now brace for a beating.” They have no business playing in this game. You may say, “Ohio State struggles with the SEC.” I agree that they have struggled, but this team is barely a top 5 SEC team.

Ohio State should beat Arkansas in dominating fashion.

Buckeyes win, 30 – 20

Rose Bowl

TCU Horned Frogs vs. Wisconsin Badgers

This is the best game out of all of the bowl games. I’m expecting a heavy weight championship fight. You have the bruising running game of Wisconsin in one corner, and TCU’s defense in the other corner.

I hear people trying to downgrade TCU because of their competition, and I agree. I don’t think they are the 3rd best team in the country. However, that doesn’t matter. I judge teams based on what I see. I saw TCU play, and they have the best defense in the Country. I think it will make for an interesting game, because Wisconsin has the best running game in the country. The Horn Frogs offense is also underrated. Their senior quarterback Andy Dalton can flat out play. I think their passing game could pose serious problems for the Badgers.

I had the misfortune of experiencing Wisconsin when they beat Ohio State (And man did they beat them. I haven’t seen someone dominate the spotlight like that since Beyoncé was in Destiny’s Child). Wisconsin is a good football, and they’ll be ready to play. Some of their wins are a bit overrated, but they won the games. The problem with Wisconsin is their biggest strength is their biggest flaw. The Badgers run the ball, run the ball, and run the ball. That’s a good way to win in the Big Ten, but when you play warm weather games on a neutral field. You have to be able to throw the ball.

I think TCU will stop Wisconsin’s running game and narrowly win this game.

Horned Frogs win, 22 – 20

The BCS National Championship

Oregon Ducks vs. Auburn Tigers

Auburn is better than Oregon. However, the best team doesn’t always win. So allow me to make a case for Oregon.

The Ducks have the most efficient offense in college football (by efficient I mean they score fast…I wanted to define that is case you didn’t have a dictionary handy, or hadn’t left your house since 1910). Their spread offense is not like the other ones being run in college football. Usually a spread offense is based on a finesse style of play where the object is to get the ball to your athletes in space. Oregon’s offense can not only spread you out, but with LaMicheal James they have the ability to be a power running team. This makes the opposition vulnerable to play action passing one every play. Consequently your defense is never comfortable and always off balance. Defensively the ducks are extremely limited. They play great with a lead, but in tight games their flaws are evident.

The Auburn Tigers are the best team in the country. With Cam Newton they have the ability to control your entire team. Newton single handedly got Auburn to the national championship (which is what you’re supposed to do when you’re getting paid).I would like t be able to point to all the qualities Auburn has, but I can’t find them. I don’t know how they beat LSU, Arkansas, and Alabama. I picked against Auburn in every big game. I’m not going to look like an idiot again. The Tigers are beast. Cam Newton will earn his pay check.

Tigers win, 35 – 21

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

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How Does Donovan McNabb Do IT?


McNabb Benched Again

Let’s begin…

    This weekend Donovan McNabb will be benched by Mike Shanahan in favor of Rex Grossman. That’s right Rex Grossman. I can’t figure out how that guy is still in the NFL. I thought somebody from Chicago killed him after he gave away the super bowl. I wonder if Grossman has ever been a good player. I know he had a great career at the University of Florida, but so did Danny Wuerffel. Wuerffel was also a terrible NFL player, but he managed to go away subtlety (Kind of the way ABC stopped making that Caveman Television show. What an epic fail that was). That’s Grossman’s biggest flaw…he just won’t go away. Rex Grossman is to the NFL what Roaches are to Studio Apartments.

    Donovan McNabb is getting replaced for the 4th time in a little over 2 years. So, if twice is a trend…what’s four times. Is Donovan a good quarterback? I’m not sure. I want to say he’s a great quarterback, because of his history. However, if someone is great and they know they’re great…why doesn’t he defend himself?

    Why does McNabb never step up and say something. From the time he was drafted (He was booed on draft night) until now Donovan has doubted and disrespected. And he has also never said a word about it. I wish I were Donovan McNabb for a day. I’d say what he won’t, “Terrell Owens sucks! I can’t stand that guy. Andy Reed is still my boy. I know he had to trade me. Look Mike Vick is a beast, so it’s cool. Now Mike Shanahan on the other hand is a terrible coach. He’s overrated and red in the face. What’s that all about? How do you get that tan in Washington? Even black be people are surprised by his hue. He told me that I wasn’t going to start this weekend. I know I am not as good as I was, but don’t bring in Rex Grossman. I’d rather get traded to the Bills than lose my job to him…” I would be happy if he said anything close to that, but he hasn’t. And I don’t think that he will. So until then, you can catch McNabb this Sunday on Washington’s bench.

    I don’t know what the future holds for Donovan McNabb. I think he will play for the Arizona Cardinals next year, but beware…Max Hall will be looking over his shoulder.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 19, 2010 in Football

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football 2010 Season Review “Thank You Cam Newton!”


Cameron And Cecil Newton Got Paid?

Let’s begin…

My take away from this season is one thing, Cam Newton. There are other stories that I will talk about, but Newton is the main event. So let me get the undercards out of the way.

The most surprising story this year is the Texas Longhorns. Now I know they lost Colt McCoy (McCoy was their quarterback for the previous 4 years and currently holds the records for most career wins in college football. He now plays for the Cleveland Browns which I think is the highlight of his career), but you’re Texas. You’re supposed to get quarterbacks like Bill Cosby gets Jell-O pudding, “very easily.” Texas has decided to fire their offensive coordinator which is a bit of a knee jerk, but after this kind of season someone has to go. They’ll be better next year…I think so.

The most overrated portion of College Football is the Pac-10. Now before I rip the Pac-10 allow me to say I love the west coast. As a matter of fact I live in Seattle. I think there are serviceable football teams in this time zone, and some excellent quarterbacks. However this is not a great place for football. Between Google, lattes, and tree hugging there is no emotion left for sports. So to compare the Pac-10 to the SEC is about as smart as Jake Locker coming back to school another year (Even Lindsay Lohan thinks that was a bad decision). If you give the Pac-10 time and patience, they will come through below the big boys every time.

Over the last year and two months Urban has conducted a clinic on how to quit a job after success. If you didn’t attend the clinic, shame on you because it was open to the public. After two titles and Tim Tebow, Meyer saw that he was at the top of the heap. Actually it wasn’t a heap. It was more like a cliff, with mediocrity and irrelevance at the bottom. So, what does Urban do? He toys publicly with the idea of retiring (because he knew it was going to be tough to stay on top), and eventually ends up coming back for another year. Now he decides walks away after taking half a step off that cliff (He probably saw a lot of jagged rocks and Nick Saban laughing at him).

Urban Meyer said he retired from the Florida Gators to be with his family. Coaching at a high level is time consuming and unhealthy. Only thing that makes coaching worse is losing. I think it’s odd when people want to spend more time with their family as soon as their ship starts sinking. I’m not going to say he is lying. I will say he hasn’t coached his last game. “Urban thanks for showing the public how to get out. Now get in there and coach the Denver Broncos.”

Finally we arrive, Cam Newton!

First let’s get something straight. Cameron Newton got paid to play college football…now let’s move on.

For the last year I’ve been trying to think of a way to pay college players without creating a competitive advantage for NCAA teams (if you have any suggestions email me). Amidst my struggle, here come Cam Newton and his pops. Until I figure that out I want to formally adopt Cecil Newton’s (Cam’s father (I like to call him Don King Jr)) pay for play scheme. So, until I figure out a solution, “Parents are the only people allowed to negotiate contracts for college athletes. It’s only right that kids get paid. Now excuse me…I have to figure out how to keep Boise State out of the BCS.”

Cameron Newton has game. Anyone would like to have a player like him on their team. I watched this guy week after week trying to find the flaws in his game, and every week I ended up disappointed. I would mumble under my breath, “There’s no way a guy could win with a team that bad. His coach is Gene Chizik for goodness sake. Prior to this year his record was 13-24.”

I am skeptical about how much he will win as an NFL quarterback, because the guy has a lot of LeBron James in him (You win big individually but you can never quite get over the hump and win championships at the highest level). During an interview he uttered the phrase, “…I also told him. I was going to take my talents to Auburn.” That phrase should be on the ban list in the “Good P.R. Handbook.” Stop with the “taking of talents.” Especially is you’ve already stole a laptop, cheated on a test, and lied to the NCAA. How about you take the money from Auburn and go to the NFL.

The college football season was good. I could have done without all the Pac-10 breakdowns and BCS debate shows. The only thing that pisses me off more than the BCS, is people that debate it at nauseam. We all get it the BCS stinks, but it’s not going away. Treat the BCS like a spouse that you owe a lifetime of alimony. The only way to stop it is to kill it. So let’s be quiet until it dies.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 10, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 11


This Weekend Is Headlined By An SEC Showdown In The Swamp

Let’s begin…

    After what happened in college football last week, I have no idea who the best team is. I thought it was Alabama, until they lost for the second time. I don’t think Auburn is the best team. They may not even be top 5. I’m not in love with Oregon even though they can beat any team in the country on any field. TCU is a very interesting team. I knew there defense was the best in the country, but after last week I want them to have an automatic bid in the National Championship. Boise State…what can I say. You guys continue to get pushed out, because teams look better than you. I don’t know what to say except, enjoy the Fiesta Bowl. Then you have to look at LSU, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Stanford, Arkansas, and even Iowa and South Carolina. Of course I would like playoffs, but it’s not going to happen. So, allow me to entertain you with my tier rankings (Tier 1. Any Where Anytime – Self-explanatory, Tier 2. Any Given Sunday – They can beat anyone, but things have to go right, Tier 3. Ahhh…I don’t know – They may be competitive, but there a chance they could get blown out).

Any Where Anytime

  1. TCU
  2. Alabama
  3. Oregon

Any Given Sunday

  1. Ohio State
  2. Boise State
  3. LSU
  4. Stanford

Ahhh…I don’t know

  1. Iowa
  2. Arkansas
  3. Wisconsin
  4. South Carolina

     

There are a few great college football games on the slate this weekend. My game of the week is the South Carolina Gamecocks v. The Florida Gators

Breakdown

I’m picking this game not only because these are both good SEC teams, but this is Steve Spurrier v. Urban Meyer. It’s old Gator vs. new Gator. Usually you can pencil in a win for the Florida Gators whenever South Carolina comes to “The Swamp”. However, the Gators are struggling this year to establish an identity. Meanwhile South Carolina is having their best season since the Carter administration. For the first time since coaching at Florida, it looks like Steve Spurrier likes players on his team. This is a very tough game to call. I think the talent is equal between both teams. Neither one of these teams are great, which makes it hard to pick a winner. I think the Florida Gators will win the game, because of home field advantage

Gators win 24 – 28

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 7


 

This Weekend Will Feature a Battle Camp Randall Stadium

 

Let’s begin…

    The story of the weekend was South Carolina beating Alabama. I watch the game, and for the first time I knew Alabama wasn’t going to be able to come back in the fourth quarter. I could just tell by the way The Gamecocks stopped the run. Steve Spurrier decided to make Greg McElroy try to beat them, and he couldn’t do it. I’m not going to say McElroy is not a big game guy. I just think he was put in an unfamiliar position, and couldn’t figure out what to do. South Carolina played a perfect game, and Spurrier had a flawless game plan. I have to give South Carolina an A+. With that being said, Alabama is still the best team in the country. Don’t forget they played Arkansas, Florida, and South Carolina in succession. Those coaches have 3 combined national titles, and 4 years of NFL head coaching experience. For Alabama to come through unscathed is asking a lot.

    The other story that surfaced Sunday was the idea that Boise State would play in the national championship if the season ended today. Not only would The Broncos play in the National title game, but top ranked Ohio State would be #5 in the BCS. “You know what though…the season doesn’t end today.” If the season would have ended last week, Denard Robinson would have won the Heisman trophy. So, I’m not entertaining these hypotheticals where you eliminate half of the regular season.

    This week we’re going to Madison Wisconsin, where the Ohio State Buckeyes will take on the Wisconsin Badgers. This will be the first test for Ohio State.

Breakdown

    I think everyone would agree that Ohio State is the better team. So, I’m not going to insult your intelligence with comparing rosters or coaches. The best team however doesn’t always win. If that were true Alabama would have won last week.

    I think the running game of Wisconsin could create problems, but the Bucks defend the run well. I think the Badgers passing offense is subpar, so I don’t see them gaining an advantage there. I think Wisconsin has to find a way to out scheme the Buckeyes. If the can gain a mental edge over Ohio State they will win Saturday. Ohio State’s weakness is in between their ears. It’s been that way ever since they lost to Florida in the National Championship. The Badgers must stay two steps ahead of Ohio State. I don’t think they can do it. I have to go with Ohio State in this game, because they have the best game planner in Jim Tressel.

Ohio State wins, 33 – 17

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

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Posted by on October 13, 2010 in College Sports, Football, Sports

 

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