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“Hey New York I Thought Everyone Wanted To Play There…You Should Have Told Cliff Lee”


Cliff Lee Stuns New York

Let’s begin…

“Oh Cliff, thanks for giving me a knife to stick in the side of New York’s delusion.” When you talk to a New York sports fan they have a way about them (I would call it swagger, but their confidence is based on being something they’re not). Everybody says, “New York always gets there man.” That’s all I ever hear. Well somebody should have told Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee (I’m still waiting on LeBron James to show up. “You promised him to me. Somebody get Isaiah Thomas on the phone.”). Both of them spurned New York this summer for another franchise.

I have to give Cliff Lee credit. He used two teams as pawns in order to get what he really wanted.

  1. A Chance to be competitive every year
  2. Pitching in the National League
  3. No Pressure

I can’t wait to watch the press conference. I’m expecting him to show up with Don King and Nick Saban. Cliff Lee will step to the microphone and say, “These are two of my three best friends. Shout out to Kanye West, he couldn’t make it. Nick told me not to talk too much. So, I’m happy to be a Philly and let’s go Heat.”

I’m not going to completely dump on New York, because they did sign one big free agent “number 2, Derek Jeter (pronounced Jee-tah), number 2″ Oh yeah, and good luck signing Andy Pettitte. I think the city on New York should put some money together, and buy C.C. Sabathiaa back brace. He’s going to be sore carrying that pitching staff.

The truth about New York is no one wants to play there. That’s why they have to over pay superstars. If it were true that everyone wanted to play in New York, the Knicks and Mets would be contenders every year. A majority of athletes and people don’t want to live in cold weather. In order to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. You have to entice them. That is why the Yankees are the best franchise in baseball. They’re willing to pay you to be uncomfortable (Boston is also willing to do it, because the Yankees have forced them to do it). However if all things are equal…there are a lot of people lining up to take their talents to South Beach. That is why New York sports fans are delusional. They have one friend that’s good looking but, they all walk around like they’re hottest girl in the club. When in actuality, if your friend isn’t with you? You should be at a truck looking for change.

In this last paragraph I’m going to grab the Yankee fans off the Brooklyn Bridge (It will probably be a while before you had the chance to jump, because you have all those Mets’ fans in front of you). The Red Sox or the Yankees will represent the American League in the World Series (I give the nod to Boston because they have better pitching but its close). They have the best 2nd baseman in baseball (Robinson Cano) and a 1st baseman (Mark Teixeira) in the top three. And they also have tons of money. So, they’ll be okay.

Now excuse me while I figure out who the Cleveland Indians are going to bring in.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Baseball

 

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LeBron Had A Bad Game…I Think Not


Let’s begin…

Alright I had to do an emergency post. I hear fans saying LeBron had a bad game, and in his post game press conference he said, “I had a bad game.” Oh really, a bad game? I’ve seen players have a bad game, and usually a bad game involves someone shooting the ball. James was outscored by Shaquille O’Neil, and he’s 38 years old. Last time Shaq outplayed the best guard in the league he played in L.A., Jordan played for the Wizards, and people still believed Tracy McGrady could win a playoff game. So don’t give me the bad game line. Now I will say I’m a Cleveland fan. So that’s the disclaimer, and now I will continue.

Last night it was obvious that LeBron was trying to send a message. The message was, “This team can’t win.” And if you’ve been paying attention he’s been doing it since game two. Just pay attention. Game 1: Everyone played like they have been all season in the first half. LeBron differs in the third quarter and Mo Williams plays great. LeBron wins the game down the stretch. Game 2: He differs to his teammates during the first have, and begins to disengage. Late in the game he tries to win the game, Game 3: He Shreds the Celtics to show that he’s not the problem, Game 4: In the fourth quarter he differs, and in a late game crucial possession he passes to Anderson Varejao. Without saying it he exposes the fact that these guys can’t get it done, Game 5: Completely checks out in the first half. Only takes 4 shots in that time span. The team gets blown out, and he mails it in. So, guys just pay attention. We don’t need Matlock to figure out the mystery. He’s sending a message, and the message is I can’t win with this.

Now I don’t know what the result of the message may be. It looks like he will be leaving Cleveland. The NBA hopes he leaves for New York, while Cleveland fans hope he leaves for L.A. Why L.A.? They want him as far away as possible. Think about this. When your wife leaves you, do you want her to move across the street? Or do you want her to move out of the country? Of course you want her to move to Istanbul, and catch Gout on her way there. At the same time let me play devil’s advocate for all the Cleveland fans about to jump in traffic. I believe you send a message when you want a situation changed. If you wanted to leave your wife/husband, you would just go cheat on them and take half of their retirement. You wouldn’t stick around to watch them get ugly. So, if you believe that, maybe the Cavs go make moves this offseason. At the same time if you believe that you probably live in Cleveland. And Cleveland step back from the situation and look at the people that have left the city to be successful in bigger Arenas: Don King, George Steinbrenner, Manny Ramirez, C.C. Sabathia. The only great Entertainers to stay: Jim Brown and the O’Jays (Jim Brown didn’t have free agency). Now that’s the facts.

This will be continued…

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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