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The 2011 NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Round 2


Let’s begin…

The Chicago Bulls vs. The Atlanta Hawks.

After struggled to dominate games in the first round, there is reason to believe that they could struggle this round. This may seem like blasphemy, but Derrick Rose is not the second coming. That right I said it. In the playoffs you can’t win with a small guard being your leading scorer. There is only 1 small guard to lead their team to a championship, and his name is Isiah Thomas. By the way Thomas would wipe the floor with Rose. Dude isn’t in his league (Another notable small guard to lead his team to the finals is Allen Iverson, and he would wipe the floor with Rose too). With that being said, this isn’t the championship. This is the second round against the Atlanta Hawks.

When looking at the Atlanta Hawks you have to like some of their matchups. In their starting lineup they have the advantage at 3 and maybe even 4 of the five positions. Chicago will not be able to match their interior toughness. With the combination of Zaza Pachulia and Al Horford will overwhelm Boozer (which is nothing new, just take a look at the last series). Henceforth the Bulls will not be able to rely on post scoring. I also think the Joe Johnson vs. Luol Deng matchup could be interesting. Johnson has all the tools to exploit Deng, but he is Joe Johnson. So who knows?

I think the Hawks would be a no brainer to win this series. The problem is Atlanta is the most unreliable team in the playoffs. The Chicago will breeze through this series in rout to the Conference Finals. Derrick Rose and the Bulls live to fight another day.

Chicago wins 4 – 1

The Miami Heat vs. The Boston Celtics

YES YES YES, finally it’s on. The basketball community has been waiting on this since LeBron announced his decision to take his talents. Will LeBron quit once again during game 5 (You know Delonte West will be in the building and Gloria James will be drinking)? I don’t know, but we will all be witnesses.

This is the marquee series in the second round of the eastern conference, and maybe even the entire league. You obvious have headliners in LeBron James, D Wade, and Paul Pierce. However you also have the underlying story line of “The Traditional Team” vs. “We Put This Thing Together Ourselves Now Stop Us.” Let’s get into it.

The Miami Heat have been a work in progress for the entire season. Personally I’m shocked, not because of the amount of wins and losses. I just thought that the flow of their team on both ends of the floor would be more fluent by this point. The have had an unspeakably tough time integrating role players with their superstars. Who would have thought Mike Miller would be an afterthought, while Mike Bibby was in the starting lineup. With that being said the Miami Heat are the most talented team in the playoffs. You could argue that at any time against any team in the league they have the two best players on the floor. I don’t not sure how that will transfer to their series to Boston, but it gives them a great chance.

The Boston Celtics are an interesting this basketball team. Part of me is not sure how to access their chances, because of the amount of players with no significant playoff appearance. On the other hand these are the Celtics. They have championship medal. We aren’t talking about chopped liver (chopped liver? How old am I?). This is Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen.

Boston has a huge advantage at point guard. As a matter fact I would argue that he is the most important person player in this series for the Celtics. Rajon Rondo has a significant advantage against every point guard on the Heat’s roster (unless 1999 Tim Hardaway is walking through that door “Shout Out To Run TMC”). If Rondo can exploit the Heat he way he has exploited playoff teams in the past, this series won’t be close.

If you pair Rondo with Boston’s inside play creates a problem that Miami won’t be able to solve in a best of 7 series.

Boston wins 4 – 2

Be sure to check out the Western Conference preview

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on April 30, 2011 in Basketball

 

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The Cleveland Cavaliers Send Miami’s Talents Back To South Beach


Cavalier fans say, "Get Out!"

Let’s begin…

The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat last night.

Now I know it’s just one win for a team that is terrible. A team in the Cavaliers that have no chance at the playoff this year, and probably even next year. With that being said, do you think that’s going to stop me from overeating? This post is for Cleveland fans that have been slowly slitting their wrist for the last 3 months. If you’re not a Cavs fan you may want to sit this post out, but thank you for clicking it, because I still get the credit for the hit. I am a Cleveland fan, and ya boy is about to represent.

    The Cavs played nasty last night. They fouled hard and didn’t back down when challenged by Miami (thank you Ryan Hollins for not backing down the Dwyane Wade. You are now my twitter avatar, “You’re Welcome!”). They gave them what I like to call, the Zaza to Garnett treatment. I loved every second of it. The only thing that could have made last night better was post-game tears.

Now I think the Cavaliers should build on this, and become a tough team. The Cavalier organization should make a conscious effort to change their image. They can shed the frontrunner image, and embrace toughness as their mantra. Cleveland like other Midwest cities is tough. It’s full of blue collar, grind it out people. So, why not put a team out on the floor that represents your city. It just seems practical, even the owner is a tough crazy man. As a matter of fact Dan Gilbert should spark the campaign with a letter on the Cavaliers website, “Anyone down for a little Comic Sans?”

As for the Miami Heat, this game was probably an admiration. They are better than the Cavs. However, it was interesting to see their response in a playoff like atmosphere. They seemed disinterested, and a little caught off guard. If I were a Heat fan I would be concerned, because this is another game where Miami got punched and didn’t respond.

Miami is supposed to be gearing up for the playoffs. They should be firing on all cylinders by now, poised to make a title run. However they have yet to solve the problem that has been hanging over them this entire season. They still aren’t executing in the half court consistently.

Playoff basketball is all about half court execution (Unless you’re playing the Dallas Mavericks in 2007). Teams that rely on the fast break don’t win in the playoffs (Please see Mike D’Antoni’s playoff record). So as the playoffs approach Miami has to get their game on point.

With that being said, the Cavs win! It’s a beautiful day in Cleveland. They have officially broken up with their ex-girlfriend. She may have left for someone better, but they have the car and the house. There is only one way to sum up the way the city of Cleveland feels today, “The world is better now because the Heat is losing.” (Courtesy of Dwyane Wade).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2011 in Basketball, Uncategorized

 

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NBA Questions…What Are The Miami Heat?


What Are The Heat?

Let’s begin…

    The NBA season is over half way over, and I still have many unanswered questions. Personally I think I have too many unanswered question (did I just write that? I didn’t need to say that twice. I’m a dope).

  • What’s going on with the Miami Heat? It was great watching them lose at the beginning of the season, but now it’s becoming disturbing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t this team supposed to good? I think they were. At least that’s what LeBron told us after the decision when the “Big Hype” stepped through the smoke, like the 87′ Miami Hurricanes. You remember the unveiling when LeBron counted off the Championships, “Not 1, Not 2, Not 3…” Then again maybe he was counting off the number of terrible late game possessions.

    By this time shouldn’t we know what the Miami Heat are? I can’t figure out is their finesse or tough. During close games I don’t even know if their alive. The Heat have time left to address their problems, but it’s getting dangerously close to their carriage turning into a pumpkin. Then again they did sign Mike Bibby, so everything will be alright.

 

  • Since Carmelo Anthony was traded to the New York Knicks, the Denver Nuggets are 5-1. So, is Anthony really that valuable? Now I’m not going to argue that the Nuggets are better without Carmelo Anthony, but I don’t believe they lost anything. With Carmelo the Nuggets had only advanced in the playoff one year out of seven. Call me optimistic, but I believe the Denver could do that without him.

 

  • Is it possible to hold off on nominating Danny Ainge as the King of Basketball? Before Kevin Garnett was gift wrapped to the Celtics, like a tennis bracelet from Jared, Ainge was known as an unsuccessful GM that was on the hot seat. Now four years since the trade the Celtics want you to believe that Danny Ainge has Nostradamus like powers. Now if Kendrick Perkins breaks down, and Jeff Green turns into Scottie Pippen, they would be right. However, there is a better chance that the Celtics capitalized on a small window with aging superstars, and they won’t be able to duplicate in the future. This has happened before, and at that time we overreacted the same way. “Danny Ainge, meet Joe Dumars.”

 

  • Can someone tell me how the San Antonio Spurs keep doing this? Their like a super hero that won’t die. I thought their window was close 3 years ago. There must be something in San Antonio’s water. How else could you explain the fact that their starting center is playing without ACLs. I demand a Federal Grand Jury investigation (Barry Bonds style).

    If the Spurs advance deep into the playoffs, it’s only right that Tony Parker be court mandated to repair his relationship with Eva Longoria. “Come on Tony please do it for the kids!” (Trick love the kids).

  • Is it hypocritical for small market teams like Indiana, Cleveland, and Sacramento to complain about the structure of the NBA? They weren’t complaining when they were the perennial Championship contenders, and Miami, New York, and Boston were at the bottom of the league. This is the way the system works. The only city that should be pissed off is Seattle. Not only did they lose a team that is now a championship contender, but they don’t have a chance of getting another one in the near future. Then again they have the Mariners and Seahawks to help ease the pain.

     

    This has been the greatest NBA regular season since the late 80s when Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Isiah Thomas were in the league. Many people have said that was the golden age of the NBA. If it was golden then, it’s platinum now.

    The questions surround the NBA has made one most predictable professional sport leagues intriguing. It will only get better with the playoffs starting in a month, and I “Can’t Wait” (Bart Scott style).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?


Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Christmas Day Basketball, Featuring Juggernauts


Will The Miam Heat Hype Machine Crank Up?

Let’s begin…

I can’t wait for the Christmas, because of the slate of intriguing NBA games. I feel like I’m 7 years old again I might just sleep by the Television and wake up every 15 minutes to see if it’s 11:30 (2:30 east coast time. Allow me to show some love to the west coast here. They have to watch the Seahawks play for goodness sake. Let me throw them a bone). This has been the most exciting NBA regular season since 1995 when Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls. The NBA has star power, intrigue, and most importantly…juggernauts. If I knew all it took was a decision by LeBron to create this kind of excitement? I would have signed up for it a long time ago. I would have even help scrounge up some kids to beef up that boys’ and girls’ audience.

Now there are plenty of people opposed to the NBA as currently constructed, because of the unwatchable teams at the bottom of the league. If that’s your concern I understand (Shoot I’m a Cleveland Cavaliers‘ fan, so I feel your pain. You couldn’t pay me to watch 82 games of that). This summer I thought this would be bad for the league. Then I realized, “I’m emotionally invested in the NBA during the summer? This is great.” Do you know what’s worse than having 15 unwatchable teams? (You’re not really supposed to think about that question. That’s just a non-rhetorical question that makes me feel like I’m making a groundbreaking point “I’m dropping knowledge”)…having 2 great teams and 25 uncompelling teams that are just okay (please see the NBA 1998 – 2004).

There are 8 NBA juggernauts in this order: Boston Celtics, San Antonio Spurs, L.A. Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (tie), Chicago Bulls, and Oklahoma City Thunder (Feel free to complain). These teams have managed to make the regular season mean something, when it means nothing at all. I would argue out of all professional sports, basketball’s regular season means the least. In the last 10 years only 2 teams have led the regular season in wins and went on to win the championship. So, these Christmas day games are going to be great, but outcome it really doesn’t, unless Miami wins by double digits.

If the Miami Heat beat the L.A. Lakers convincingly; ESPN, VS, and even The Food Network, will re-fire the hype machine. You remember that machine…the one that continues to show the first 30 seconds of the decision, followed by the championship celebration in Miami the next day. It’s been out of order ever since Boston beat Miami for the second time and LeBron accidently bumped his coach on purpose. I don’t expect the out of order sign to come off of that machine. Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers will be ready to play. I think Kobe’s been ready to play ever since Miami celebrated their “9 consecutive championships” (They haven’t actually won 9 championships. Just in case some dope is looking that up). This game will be competitive, but the Lakers have too much for the Heat to deal with. Miami will lose this game, and sport networks will actually have to work for a lead story.

Enjoy the games and embrace the juggernauts. Personally I’m going to start taking Benadryl and drinking NyQuil, so I can fall asleep.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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This Thursday LeBron James’ Talents Will Be In Cleveland Ohio


This Thursday December 2nd LeBron Will Be In Cleveland, But Will He Bring His Powder?

Let’s begin…

On December 2nd at 8pm TNT will have my undivided attention. LeBron James and his talents will be in Cleveland Ohio at the Quicken Loans Arena.

Now this is great for me. I’m a Cleveland sports fan, and this is one of two times i will be able to see my team on television. I will also get to see the smile on Dan Gilbert‘s face as the city of Cleveland welcomes LeBron. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gilbert flies in Delonte West and seats him behind the Miami’s bench.

Now I’m not delusional. I’m expecting Cleveland to not only lose but be dominated by Miami. I expect LeBron to channel is inner Wilt Chamberlain, and go for 100 points.

I also think the Cleveland Arena to be the ugliest scene in the NBA since the malice in the palace. I think beers and batteries will be thrown. I believe the over under on in game interruptions sits at 3 (and I’m taking the over). I only have one request from Cleveland fans. At some point in the game I want everyone to stand up, grab their elbow, and chant, “Game 5, Game 5, Game 5.”

After this summer I’m not sure how smart LeBron James is. I know LeBron James the publicist, should not only be fired, but he should be pelted with common sense. Many people believe his public image can’t get lower. However, I believe his public image elevator could find a trap door in the basement if he decides to throws chalk up into the air Thursday night.

LeBron James has no perception of reality (If you don’t know that, you’re just not paying attention). Why don’t we take a look at the past? He wore a Yankees cap to an Indians home playoff game, and dismissed it by saying he grew up a Yankees fan. When he was called out for quitting on his team, he used his elbow as an excuse. And he used a $2.5 million dollar donation to the Boys and Girls Club, as a pawn in his narcissistic approach to “The Decision”. The public could accept his excuses as fact, because he was able to hide any malicious intent. However, that will change if on December 2nd, he continues his pregame tradition of tossing chalk into the air (a tradition that belong to Kevin Garnett before him and Michael Jordan before him). That action will not only be a kick in the groin for Cleveland, but it will be an unveiling of the character of someone that was idolized. Someone who would like you to believe he’s a kid that has just made some mistakes.

There are times when you have to deal with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. On December 2nd LeBron James will walk into his ex-boyfriend’s house with his new lover. He should be proud of what he has now, but don’t forget about who use to love you. Respect the fans, take the boos, and for goodness sake don’t throw powder in their faces.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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How D-Wade Wins The East . . .


 

Miami Is In A Predictable Position?

Recently, the “Big 3” took their talents to S. Beach.  So far, not so good.  With the exception of Chris Bosh, it looks like everybody took a step in the negative direction where it matters most.  After their most recent unimpressive victory over Bosh’s old boys the Toronto Raptors, the Heat, projected by idiots across the USA to win 72 games or more, are only 2 games better than .500.

Now, I could go on and on for days about why this is happening, who’s to blame, or who’s not going to have a job by the time Pat Riley can say 2006, but those are all for other blogs.

Nope.  Today, I want to address a simple and egregious statement made by Erik Spoelstra (I don’t care if I spelled it right) and D-Wade, and break down why these two and LBJ MAY be on two, different pages.

After their second loss to the Boston Celtics, both of the Heat vets from last year (Spoelstra and Wade) made the same statement:  “We know we won’t be playing our best b-ball until end of January going into February.”

As the above statement was being said, I think I heard LeBron inside his head saying “well . . . ‘What Should I Do?’ until then???”  However, neither the King, nor I should be surprised.  Why?  Because this is the terrible basketball Miami plays EVERY YEAR! This year isn’t a special exception. I believe this has little to do with special offensive sets that need to be drawn up and much more to do with tradition.  Traditionally, every year, the Miami Heat and Wade don’t play basketball until after the All-Star Break.  Why…because in the Eastern Conference you don’t need to.  Wade beats up on the teams he can, steals a win or three from a playoff contender and then cruise controls it to April/May for the playoffs.

I looked at the records and what I found supported this argument.  All of last year, the Heat had about 9 wins against playoff teams that went to the second-round.  The other times they played these same teams (save the Orlando Magic) they lost.  They had only 23 wins by Feb. 6, 2010, they were 23-27 before they/Wade decided to make the playoffs last year.  All the while, King James had nearly double this amount of wins and his Cavs stood at 43-10 by the same date last year.  So, while James was playing for the best record not just in the East, but in the entire league, on his way to his second MVP.  Flash and company decided to take the easy road.  They beat up on easy wins (see Indiana, N.J., Wash., Golden State, et al.) and didn’t start playing LAST year until February.  Which leads me to believe this year’s late start is more by choice than D-Wade would have a King to believe.  But the proof is in the record. . .

Long story short, LBJ doesn’t take games off and he doesn’t fancy losing often.  No wonder these last two Celtics games he’s just decided to play them into it in the 4th quarter, turning double-digit leads into mere 5 pt. victories for the C’s.  To add insult to injury, they lost AT HOME. LeBron doesn’t even know what that looks like.  He nearly NEVER loses at home.  Only 6 home losses for Bron-Bron last year (including 2 to the C’s in the playoffs).  Further, when he plays, he plays to beat the best.  Why does D-Wade get 23 points combined in both Celtic games, but then avg. high 20’s versus all other opponents?  Is he just having off-days, or is he just not used to actually needing to show up for work before MLK day???

I think this will end-up with LeBron making a brand new Nike commercial in 3 years, similar to Tiger Wood‘s famed commercial of last year, but instead it will be Michael Jordan’s voice asking softly in the background: “Did You Learn Anything?”

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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