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The Great Manny Ramirez, Juiced His Way Out Of the Hall of Fame?


Manny Is Still Great?

Let’s begin…

I don’t know if you’ve heard but Many Ramirez has decided to retire from baseball. When I heard the news I thought, “Manny is done, and he just doesn’t want to play anymore. Maybe he realizes that his skills have diminished to the point that he can no longer be elite.” Then a report was issued by ESPN.com that stated that Ramirez had been busted for performance enhancing drugs…again…for the second time, consecutively. I couldn’t believe that someone could be so careless. You know you’re going to get tested, and you’ve already been busted. So, you decide to do it again…what? Come on Manny.

If I could talk to Manny (who am I supposed to be, “If I could talk to Manny” I’m a Douche) I would want to know why? Is it because you were jealous of other players? Were you influenced by other great baseball players, or did you need it to become a great player?

Usually I believe that great players are not made hall of famers because of performance enhancing drugs. I mean these are great athletes, the best of the best. In addition to that no one can become a hall of famer on drugs? Then again maybe they can. I would argue that Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa, and Mark McGwire, were all made potential hall of Famers because of steroids. All you have to do is look at their numbers, and you can see the spike in their respective performances. However that’s not the case with Ramirez. His numbers never jumped or dipped erratically. This makes it tough to decipher when he started using steroids. Furthermore it allows me to believe that there’s a possibility he used them for his entire career.

I don’t eliminate anyone from the hall of fame for steroid use. The only reason I eliminate people is because you’re a scrub or you’re just not good enough (please see Jose Canseco, because he’s a good example of both scenarios). That’s why Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, and Roger Clemens are in my Hall of Fame. They are just great players. I considered Manny Ramirez to be in this category as well.

When it originally came out that Manny had taken steroids I wasn’t surprised. It had become so rampant in the baseball community that assumed everyone was taking them. So, I decided that I would judge players based on their career pre and post steroid era. This is where I have a problem with Ramirez being in the hall of fame. Manny has been busted during the steroid era, and post steroid era. So, I am led to believe that he took steroids throughout his entire career. Consequently this makes all of his numbers tainted.

As a Cleveland Indian fan, I would like to look over the transgressions of Manny Ramirez, but I can’t. He cheated the game. I can’t let him in the Hall of Fame. With that being said, Manny Ramirez will always hold a special place in my sports pantheon. I will remember him has an entertainer and great hitter, with once in a generation talent. I’m not going to remember the dreadlocks or the lost years in L.A. I’m going to remember the Manny Ramirez that led the Boston Red Sox to the World Series Championship. I will remember the guy that I first identified with a Cleveland Indians uniform. The Dominican kid with talent and a jerry curl, poking out of the bottom of his hat.

Oh yeah! That’s Manny being Manny.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on April 8, 2011 in Baseball

 

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MLB Opening Day, “Yawn”…Fantasy Baseball Opening Day, “Go Time”


Let’s begin…

Today is MLB opening day. So it’s only right that I welcome you to the most overhyped day in sports. People try to convince you every year of how great opening day baseball is, when in all actually it’s not that significant. Only thing more overrated is the Reagan administration. All the baseball purist, use nostalgia and romanticism to sell you on 1 of 162 games. All you here is, “Oh it a sign that summer is here. All I have to do is smell the grass and see the pitcher’s mound. It brings a tear to my eye. Opening day is as American as Apple Pie.” Yeah, the only thing is I actually like apple pie (with a scoop of ice-cream of course).

Now I want to make something clear. I like baseball. I love going to games, and watching on T.V. I just think the number of games in a season, make opening day insignificant. I would argue that the last 20 games of the regular season are far more compelling than opening day.

Strangely enough with all my problems in regard to opening day, I can’t wait for fantasy baseball to start. Everyone I selected in my auction draft has been waiting for this moment. We’ve made it through spring training injury free, and my players are foaming at the mouth, relishing the opportunity of taking the field. This is when my leadership as a manager is tested. Last year we finished second place, and I take full responsibility for our shortcomings. I should have dealt Ubaldo Jiménez when I had the chance. As a veteran owner I should have known better, and I have promised my team that I won’t make that mistake again. With a pitching rotation of C.C. Sabathia, Josh Johnson, and David Price, I don’t expect to have any pitching problems this year. Now in my hitting lineup I went young with Jason Heyward, Mike Stanton, and Justin Upton as my core. This will give me a good nucleus to build around this entire season. “Ya boy feels good”. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I can’t wait for opening day (Bart Scott Style).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

http://twitter.com/#!/KortneyShane/status/53519071660089344

 
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Posted by on March 31, 2011 in Baseball

 

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Barry Bonds and Greg Anderson, Best Friends For Life?


Let’s begin…

    The Barry Bonds perjury trial began this week. This is the trial to find out rather or not Bonds knowingly he took steroids. This is also known as, a complete waste of time. Barry knows he took steroids. I don’t even see how he could argue that he didn’t know. Come on Barry. You’re head doubled in size the minute you started taking the supposed flax seed oil, and if that didn’t get your attention. The acne and 73 homeruns should have tipped you off. I hate calling someone a liar without the facts (brace yourself, I’m about to call someone a liar), but I don’t see how Bonds couldn’t know.

    Now we can disagree on whether Barry knew he was taking steroids (I’m not sure why we would disagree). However, one thing that is a fact is that Greg Anderson (who was Bonds trainer) is the “Best Friend of All-Time.” This dude has middle school girls jealous of his loyalty. When they write B.F.F. on their Trapper Keeper (Are they still making those?), this is the person they hope to be.

    If you don’t know, Greg Anderson is a childhood friend of Barry Bonds. They played baseball together at a young age. While Bonds became one of the greatest players ever, Anderson had little to no success. After giving up his career as a baseball player, Anderson began working out at World Gym which just so happened to be a few blocks away from BALCO. How convenient is that? To have a steroid like crack house within walking distance from you’re gym. It’s hard to find those kinds of amenities now a day. Shoot, I’m happy to have a laundry mat 2 blocks from my house (FYI when looking for a place to live you need two things close by, 7-Eleven and a laundry mat). Now we can connect the dots from here. Anderson dabbles with steroids, later becomes Barry Bonds’ trainer, Bonds is pissed because scrubs like Mark McGwire are setting homerun records, and he ends up taking steroids himself as well. Now 762 homeruns later and about a yearlong regiment of Clearasil to clear up his acne, Bonds is on trial for lying to the grand jury for knowingly taking steroids. It would be easy to convict Bonds if the government could get Greg Anderson to testify. The problem is they can’t get him to testify.

    Greg Anderson will not testify against Barry Bonds. Since 2006 Anderson has been sentence to jail time 3 times for contempt of court, because he won’t testify in the Barry Bonds’ perjury trail. This makes no sense, because if he told the truth he wouldn’t have to worry about jail. I thought you were supposed to lie to stay out of jail. I’m confused. At the same time, maybe this is what good friends do. If that is true, I am the dirt bag of friendship. Compared to Anderson, my friendship is about as loyal as LeBron James in July. I’m not going to jail for a friend. I wouldn’t go to jail 3 times for my momma. As a matter of fact if she asks me to do something like that, I wouldn’t talk to her for a year. So, I salute Greg Anderson and his loyalty. He’s a better man than I am.

    Then again could Greg Anderson be the smartest guy in the room? Maybe Anderson is operating by the idea of keeping your friends close, and your enemies closer. Bonds could know something about him that could ruin his life.

Then again could it be possible that as childhood friends Greg and Barry made a pack?

“We’re never going to snitch on each other. We’re blood brothers and friends for life. Pass me the crayon and construction paper, so we can document our love…yeah. We’ll always be friends. As a matter of fact lets buy one of those overhype gold plated necklaces with the hearts separated in jagged fashion, that way no matter what happens we will remember each other. I got your back dog no matter what happens. If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I got your back, dog. If anything happened to me while I jumped out a window…and my hair caught on fire, I got your back, dog. If 15 years from now we get caught up in a Federal investigation we’re not going to say anything, because we have each other’s back dog. Picky swear…yeah! Now grab that syringe and the clear stuff.”

    

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2011 in Baseball

 

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How Significant Is Albert Pujols and His $300 Million


Who Will Show Albert The Money?

Let’s begin…

    So Albert Pujols wants to get paid $300 Million over 10 years, and I don’t blame him. I want $300 Million to play baseball, and I can’t even play. I also think the St. Louis Cardinals would be idiots to sign him for that amount of money.

    Now I’ve hear people say that the Cardinals should do everything in their power to keep Pujols. Really…maybe you have it confused. This isn’t the Cleveland Cavaliers (no disrespect to Cleveland). St. Louis is the biggest baseball city in America. This is the franchise of Ozzie Smith and Bob Gibson. They have 10 World Series Championships. So what makes anyone think they need Albert Pujols? They need Pujols about as much as the Disney Channel needs Lindsay Lohan.

    Now Pujols is a great play, maybe even the best player in baseball, but how significant is he? Among the Major Sports, baseball is one where individuals have the least amount of control. This isn’t basketball where one player can single handedly change a team’s fortune. Think about the best players in recent history. Barry Bonds (who is the greatest player ever, but we can argue that later), Alex Rodriguez, Ken Griffey Jr., and Cal Ripken Jr.; how many championship have they won…two (you can totally move me off of Ripken, but then you would have to take away a championship, and that’s not helping you out). So tell me why Pujols is a must have again.

    It takes a collection of good players to have a great team, and if you give someone $300 million exactly how will you form that team. There are only two teams in baseball that over pay players, and continue to be competitive franchises; The New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. Currently both of those teams have over priced first basemen. So if Albert leaves the Cardinals in order to make more money, what are the chances of him winning another championship? I’m going to go with, no chance at all. Because there’s a good chance he’ll wake in a Chicago Cubs uniform for the next 10 years.

    At the end of the day an employee is worth however much they get paid. If Albert Pujols signs a contract for 300 million dollars over 10 years this offseason, two teams are going to be very happy. However, only one of those teams will be happy in 5 years. That team is the St. Louis Cardinals.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2011 in Baseball, Sports

 

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“Hey New York I Thought Everyone Wanted To Play There…You Should Have Told Cliff Lee”


Cliff Lee Stuns New York

Let’s begin…

“Oh Cliff, thanks for giving me a knife to stick in the side of New York’s delusion.” When you talk to a New York sports fan they have a way about them (I would call it swagger, but their confidence is based on being something they’re not). Everybody says, “New York always gets there man.” That’s all I ever hear. Well somebody should have told Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee (I’m still waiting on LeBron James to show up. “You promised him to me. Somebody get Isaiah Thomas on the phone.”). Both of them spurned New York this summer for another franchise.

I have to give Cliff Lee credit. He used two teams as pawns in order to get what he really wanted.

  1. A Chance to be competitive every year
  2. Pitching in the National League
  3. No Pressure

I can’t wait to watch the press conference. I’m expecting him to show up with Don King and Nick Saban. Cliff Lee will step to the microphone and say, “These are two of my three best friends. Shout out to Kanye West, he couldn’t make it. Nick told me not to talk too much. So, I’m happy to be a Philly and let’s go Heat.”

I’m not going to completely dump on New York, because they did sign one big free agent “number 2, Derek Jeter (pronounced Jee-tah), number 2″ Oh yeah, and good luck signing Andy Pettitte. I think the city on New York should put some money together, and buy C.C. Sabathiaa back brace. He’s going to be sore carrying that pitching staff.

The truth about New York is no one wants to play there. That’s why they have to over pay superstars. If it were true that everyone wanted to play in New York, the Knicks and Mets would be contenders every year. A majority of athletes and people don’t want to live in cold weather. In order to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. You have to entice them. That is why the Yankees are the best franchise in baseball. They’re willing to pay you to be uncomfortable (Boston is also willing to do it, because the Yankees have forced them to do it). However if all things are equal…there are a lot of people lining up to take their talents to South Beach. That is why New York sports fans are delusional. They have one friend that’s good looking but, they all walk around like they’re hottest girl in the club. When in actuality, if your friend isn’t with you? You should be at a truck looking for change.

In this last paragraph I’m going to grab the Yankee fans off the Brooklyn Bridge (It will probably be a while before you had the chance to jump, because you have all those Mets’ fans in front of you). The Red Sox or the Yankees will represent the American League in the World Series (I give the nod to Boston because they have better pitching but its close). They have the best 2nd baseman in baseball (Robinson Cano) and a 1st baseman (Mark Teixeira) in the top three. And they also have tons of money. So, they’ll be okay.

Now excuse me while I figure out who the Cleveland Indians are going to bring in.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Baseball

 

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After One Hundred Sixty Two Games, The MLB Season Has Begun


The MLB Playoffs Start Today

Let’s begin…

    It’s time to see who the best team in baseball is. However, before we get there I have to address the biggest problem with baseball. There are just too many games. It doesn’t take 162 to find out who’s the best. The baseball season should be three months long. It could become the summer sport, and garner its own niche. With that being said, I think this will be one of the greatest pitching postseason ever. There will be potential 8 Hall of Fame pitchers in action. I can’t remember the last time that happened. Let’s just say it never happened, because that makes me sound good.

American League Breakdown

    I’m not going to waste my time with the AL first time. Why should I dissect a forgone conclusion? So, let’s not insult each other’s intelligence, Tampa Bay and New York will play in the ALCS. The Rays can’t keep up New York’s offense. The Yankee line up is a beast my friend, however the Rays speed is going to pose some problems. I think the age of the Yankees will show up when these 2 teams play. I think this series will end up going to game 7. I think the Yankees will win because of the clutch play led by Alex Rodriguez (I can’t believe I wrote that sentence), and the pitching of C.C. Sabathia. At the same time the Rays will trump those 2 exactors if David Price is pitching game 7. Price is the best pitcher in the Major League, and if this is news to you, you’re just not paying attention. In this scenario I think David Price and C.C. Sabathia will cancel each other out, and the game will be decided in the bullpen. I’ll take the Rays pen in a big spot , and give you Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain, and any other bum they trot out(outside of Mo Rivera of course, but I don’t think it will come to a closing situation).

National League Breakdown

    I’m also not going to waste your time in the National League. I will say I hope Bobbly Cox and Dusty Baker golf, because in 3 games they’ll be doing a lot of it. San Francisco and Philadelphia will play in the NLCS. I like the Giants a lot, but they can’t hit. The Phillies will win, and make their third straight appearance in the World Series.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2010 in Baseball

 

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The NFL or the MLB, Who’s Number 1…I Know.


Let’s begin…

I’ve been watching baseball closely for the last 10 years. That’s one of the things I regret about the time I spent in New York. All they play is baseball games. They have their own Yankee Network. So, it’s 24 hours Yankees. It’s like B.E.T. in the 90’s when they kept showing Rap City reruns. The Yes Network still plays Mickey Mantle’s opening day game.

Something is happening in baseball. Since the post steroids era, great pitching and “The Athlete” has taken center stage. This is great for baseball. You can market athletes, because people envy what they can’t do, and great pictures make for appointment television. I think that if Major League Baseball markets it’s’ product correctly, it could once again become the number one sport in America once again. Now I know everyone is thinking, “How can they beat the NFL?” Alright just pay attention, grab some coffee, turn off the porn, and if you’re really weird turn off the hockey game.

These are a few of the reason why baseball could be number 1 again. Baseball has clear advantages over football. Baseball players don’t wear as much equipment (Helmet, Shoulder pads, etc.), so it’s easier to identify with the players. Fans can sit at home, and believe they can do it. As crazy as that sounds, we all know Bubba on the couch can’t hit a slider. Also, every individual baseball player has a larger impact on whether your team wins or loses. That’s not even close to being true in football. There’s no individual that can that can change a football game that much just ask Dan Marino. I do think it all comes down to showcasing your athletes, and for all the success of the NFL. They have not had a must see player since Deon Sanders, and even then they didn’t showcase him. Everybody is on Peyton Manning’s jock. People think he’s a great marketer, because pitches everything from Direct TV to condoms. However, he could never out sell Sanders. Manning could never drive a clothing line or sell his own shoes, because he’s not an athlete.

If baseball wants to be great again, they need to take a line out of the NBA’s marketing book. This is what baseball should do.

  1. Advertise big pitching matchups as head to head battles.
  2. Start playoffs earlier in the day. Maybe even have late morning/earlier afternoon games on Saturday and Sunday.
  3. Market your athletes! Everyone should know who Jason Heyward and Carl Crawford are. Baseball should treat them like they treated Ken Griffey jr.

So baseball let’s talk. Don’t stay stuck in the past and tradition. Embrace the world now. Please start using more instant replay. Maybe if you embrace some change, the YES Network will stop playing Mickey Mantle reruns. That’s probably wishful thinking.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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