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2011 NBA Season Lottery Teams Rankings, MVP, and Best Team


The Heat, Lakers, and Thunder Are All Powerhouse Teams

Let’s begin…

NBA Lottery Teams, Power Rankings

The rankings are based on a combination of quality of players, expectations, and how awful the team was. I’m ranking best outcome to worse outcome.

“This is it. Don’t get scared now.”

  1. L.A. Clippers: This was clearly the best lottery team this season. They toyed with the idea of making the playoffs while being just bad enough to make it into the lottery. Couldn’t have done it better myself.
  2. Houston Rockets: This is the arguably the best team in the lottery. They obviously have some holes to fill in the front court, but they have one of the best front offices in the NBA. They will be fine. Look for them to make the playoffs next year.
  3. Milwaukee Bucks: This is a playoff team that caught some bad breaks. Look for them to get back on track next season. “Fear the Dear”
  4. Phoenix Suns: This franchise is in denial. They should have started rebuilding 3 years ago after the Shaq experience. They have to get what they can for Steve Nash and cut bait with Vince Carter as soon as possible. Do it for the kids.
  5. Golden State Warriors: I don’t even know what to call this. I think it’s a basketball team, but I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish. I’m not sure they are even trying to win games, but I love this organization, because hands down they have the best fantasy players.
  6. Utah Jazz: After losing their two best players what could you reasonably expect. If you’re a Jazz fan just pray Jimmer Fredette is off the board before the Jazz make their pick.
  7. Minnesota Timberwolves: For the talent this team had they should have won a few more games. At the same time this is Minnesota. I’m not sure they know they still have a basketball team.
  8. Sacramento Kings: Welcome to the best high school team of all time. If John Calipari were a GM this is the team he would put together. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kings end up having to vacate wins.
  9. Charlotte Bobcats: You changed coaches, traded away your best players, and Michael Jordan is your de facto GM. Other than that things are great.
  10. Washington Wizards: Your team stinks, but at least you have John Wall.
  11. Cleveland Cavaliers: “Damn” Nuff said
  12. Toronto Raptors: I know why this debacle happened, but did you have to wallow in the debacle?
  13. Detroit Pistons: I wanted to put Toronto last, but then I remembered that no one playing for the Pistons likes to organization. So I will jump off the ship with them.

My All NBA Team

C Dwight Howard

PF LaMarcus Aldridge

SF LeBron James

SG Dwyane Wade

PG Derrick Rose

I almost put Kevin Durant at shooting guard because he should be on this list.

2011 MVP

This belongs to Dwight Howard. I don’t want to hear about how Derrick Rose is so great. Look, dude isn’t even top five in the NBA (FYI top five: LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dirk Nowitzki). Don’t get me wrong he’s a good player, but he is replaceable. On the other hand no one changes the game on both ends of the floor the way Dwight Howard does. He is the most dominate force in the NBA, and the MVP.

Best Team in the NBA

The Los Angeles Lakers are the best team. It may be seen as a copout, but they’re the best. The bottom line is they would be the favorite against every other team in the NBA. They have the best closer in Kobe Bryant, and the best coach in Phil Jackson. The Lakers should win the championship.

Season Synopsis

This has been the best regular season in recent history. I think it can spark another golden age in basketball, and I want to thank LeBron James (you’ll have to excuse me for a moment I just threw up in my mouth). James and the Miami Heat changed the way originations put their teams together. Now thanks to them we have powerhouse teams in big markets (the downside is terrible teams like Toronto ad Cleveland…just threw up in my mouth again).

There are 6 teams that have a legitimate shot at winning a championship. I can’t remember the last time that was the case. Wide open playoffs should make for some excitement.

“It’s Go Time!”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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6 Comments

Posted by on April 17, 2011 in Basketball

 

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NBA Questions…What Are The Miami Heat?


What Are The Heat?

Let’s begin…

    The NBA season is over half way over, and I still have many unanswered questions. Personally I think I have too many unanswered question (did I just write that? I didn’t need to say that twice. I’m a dope).

  • What’s going on with the Miami Heat? It was great watching them lose at the beginning of the season, but now it’s becoming disturbing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t this team supposed to good? I think they were. At least that’s what LeBron told us after the decision when the “Big Hype” stepped through the smoke, like the 87′ Miami Hurricanes. You remember the unveiling when LeBron counted off the Championships, “Not 1, Not 2, Not 3…” Then again maybe he was counting off the number of terrible late game possessions.

    By this time shouldn’t we know what the Miami Heat are? I can’t figure out is their finesse or tough. During close games I don’t even know if their alive. The Heat have time left to address their problems, but it’s getting dangerously close to their carriage turning into a pumpkin. Then again they did sign Mike Bibby, so everything will be alright.

 

  • Since Carmelo Anthony was traded to the New York Knicks, the Denver Nuggets are 5-1. So, is Anthony really that valuable? Now I’m not going to argue that the Nuggets are better without Carmelo Anthony, but I don’t believe they lost anything. With Carmelo the Nuggets had only advanced in the playoff one year out of seven. Call me optimistic, but I believe the Denver could do that without him.

 

  • Is it possible to hold off on nominating Danny Ainge as the King of Basketball? Before Kevin Garnett was gift wrapped to the Celtics, like a tennis bracelet from Jared, Ainge was known as an unsuccessful GM that was on the hot seat. Now four years since the trade the Celtics want you to believe that Danny Ainge has Nostradamus like powers. Now if Kendrick Perkins breaks down, and Jeff Green turns into Scottie Pippen, they would be right. However, there is a better chance that the Celtics capitalized on a small window with aging superstars, and they won’t be able to duplicate in the future. This has happened before, and at that time we overreacted the same way. “Danny Ainge, meet Joe Dumars.”

 

  • Can someone tell me how the San Antonio Spurs keep doing this? Their like a super hero that won’t die. I thought their window was close 3 years ago. There must be something in San Antonio’s water. How else could you explain the fact that their starting center is playing without ACLs. I demand a Federal Grand Jury investigation (Barry Bonds style).

    If the Spurs advance deep into the playoffs, it’s only right that Tony Parker be court mandated to repair his relationship with Eva Longoria. “Come on Tony please do it for the kids!” (Trick love the kids).

  • Is it hypocritical for small market teams like Indiana, Cleveland, and Sacramento to complain about the structure of the NBA? They weren’t complaining when they were the perennial Championship contenders, and Miami, New York, and Boston were at the bottom of the league. This is the way the system works. The only city that should be pissed off is Seattle. Not only did they lose a team that is now a championship contender, but they don’t have a chance of getting another one in the near future. Then again they have the Mariners and Seahawks to help ease the pain.

     

    This has been the greatest NBA regular season since the late 80s when Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Isiah Thomas were in the league. Many people have said that was the golden age of the NBA. If it was golden then, it’s platinum now.

    The questions surround the NBA has made one most predictable professional sport leagues intriguing. It will only get better with the playoffs starting in a month, and I “Can’t Wait” (Bart Scott style).

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Is College Basketball Full Of Parody Or Do All The Teams Stink?


What Does It Mean If BYU Gets A #1 Seed?

Let’s begin…

    I keep hearing people say that college basketball is full of parody. Really…have you been watching the games? These teams suck. If you think even half these games are worth watching, there are some six year old soccer games at your local park that I think you’d be interested in as well. Now I don’t want to sound like some older curmudgeon, and start ranting about how Phi Slama Jama was the greatest team assembled. What I will say is I don’t see many NBA players in college this year. I think there are about 7 NBA players in college basketball, 10 on a good day. Consequently there are not many good teams. The bad news for college basketball is that this isn’t going to get any better.

    There will be times in college where the talent level will be high. It’s just the fact of how things work. There’s probably somebody producing a man child right now with arms like Scottie Pippen, and hopes like Darvin Ham (That’s right a Darvin Ham reference). However, even if this were to happen it wouldn’t improve the product, because the talent would be spread out among the legions on teams. “So Kortney what’s going to happen?” I thought you’d never ask. The college basketball regular season will continue to become more irrelevant, while the post-season will gain in popularity. In all actuality this may be the best case for college basketball. The NCAA Tournament is second to none at attracting both the hard core and moderate sports fan. So this could be great for the NCAA. At the same time don’t confuse a competitive post season with parody, because these teams suck.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

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College Basketball’s Biggest Problem, One and Done


Let’s begin…

   I can sum up this year’s college basketball season in three words, “One and Done.” Now when I mention the term one and done. Your mind probably goes to the common place of the NBA rule, which mandates a player to be either 19 or one year removed from college. You know the rule…the one that was supposed to save immature intercity kids from the traps of the evil real world. When in all actually they were making sure NBA owners didn’t give their money to kids that were more concerned with the purple drank than playing basketball. That’s a bad rule, but it’s not the rule I want to talk about (Even though I just wrote a paragraph about it). I want to address why there seems to be so many upsets in college basketball.

   Every week it we have a new #1 one team in college basketball, and every week that team loses. Many people have said it is because there are no great teams in college basketball. Now I will concede that there is some validity to that assumption. However, I would also argue that the number of upsets can be contributed to a meaningless regular season. Rankings in college basketball don’t mean anything. Every good team has an opportunity to win the national title (via the NCAA Tournament). Consequently games don’t mean as much, and you get weekly upsets. This is College Basketball biggest problem. “Well Kortney how do you fix it?” “I thought you’d never ask (actually I knew you would ask, because I’m the one writing the blog).” I think the number of NCAA Tournament bids should be contract from 68 to 48, and bids should be rewarded to teams based on record, with an emphasis on conference play. Here is how the tournament bids would breakdown in a 48 team field.

  • 6 Automatic bids for regular season Conference Champions in the ACC, Big East, Big 12, Big Ten, Pac-10, and SEC
  • 32 Automatic bids for Conference Tournament Championship (If the respective conference has no tournament? The bid will go to the team with the best conference record. If the tournament is won by a team already holding a bid. The bid will go to the tournament runner up.
  • The remaining 10 spots will be at large bids.

   The tournament seeding would be decided by a panel as it is now. The only tweak is that the top 4 seeds in each region would get byes into the second round of 32. While the reaming lower seeded teams would compete in, “The First 32” (You see how creative I got with that title…pure genius). My tournament regional brackets would look like the one below.

   Now I know many people would say that this system would be unfair to teams from weaker conferences. To that I would say, each of those weaker conferences would receive an automatic bid for their conference champion, and they would be eligible for the 10 at large bids. I would also say, it’s not the job of the NCAA Tournament to be fair. The tournament’s only obligation is to pick the best teams. This isn’t a charity case. If you want charity, go to the NIT (which would inevitably feature underachievers, and any team coached by Seth Greenberg).

   At the end of the day you have to make college basketball’s regular season meaningful. I believe contracting tournament bids would be a step in the right direction. I maybe be wrong, but something needs to be done. If not, get use to the one and done.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2011 in Basketball, College Sports

 

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What No One Is Saying About The Cleveland Cavaliers 25 Game Losing Streak


There Is Nothing But Frustration In Cleveland

Let’s begin…

Now that the Cavaliers have set the record for longest losing streak in NBA history, I think it’s the perfect time to weigh in with some perspective (I didn’t want to talk about it before it happened, because I didn’t want to jinx the streak). For everyone that couldn’t understand why people in Cleveland were crying and burning LeBron‘s jersey after the decision…do you understand now? With that being said, don’t be fooled by what you hear. People talk about how the impact of LeBron is the reason why Cavaliers are losing, and that’s just not completely true. No player in the history of organized basketball is worth 60 wins. It’s easy to dismiss the Cleveland Cavaliers as a team that can’t win without their star player, but let’s examine the whole story.

The Cavs lost the best player in the NBA during free agency. I’m not going to argue that. As a matter of fact I think LeBron should get another MVP this year just for carrying that team for the last 7 years. What many people don’t talk about is that they also lost Delonte West, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Shaquille O’Neal during free agency (What? Did I really just throw Zydrunas Ilgauskas in there as a loss? We may disagree with on Ilgauskas, but I think we can all agree that Delonte’s guns will never be replaced). Couple that with injuries to Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao, and you have a team that could lose 25 games in a row. There is only one player currently playing for the Cavaliers that was a starter for the opening game of the 2009 – 2010 season. So it’s just lazy to say LeBron James is main reason why the Cavs are losing.

What’s happening to the Cleveland Cavaliers is extraordinary. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I have absolutely no faith in their ability to win. I would rather bet on a 6 year soccer team, before I bet the Cavs to cover in a parlay. At the same time if you know anything about the Cavaliers this shouldn’t be shocking (that was a dumb statement by me. I don’t know why the average person would know anything about the Cavs. There people in jail that have better things to do). The good thing is I’m a Cleveland fan, so I will break it down for you (Oh it just keeps getting better).

The Cavaliers struggled throughout the early 80s until they landed Brad Daugherty, Mark Price, Ron Harper and Larry Nance in 1986. The Cavs would be competitive for the next 6 years, and even reach the Eastern Conference Finals. When Cleveland’s core begin to age and retire the Cavs started to struggle again. From 1993 – 2003 they would wallow in mediocrity and never win a playoff series. In 2003 Cleveland drafted LeBron James, and we all know what happened after that. The Cavs would become one of the marquee teams in the NBA, and perennial title contender. After a one championship appearance and a decision, the Cavs were broken up. Now the Cavs are in there traditional low period, but how long will it last (This is where I come in. Watch me save the day)?

The Cavs need to finish what the “The Decision” started, and exile the rest of their core to South Beach. Everything incorporated with the LeBron James era needs to be severed, in order to create a new identity. They can start by either trading or buying out Anderson Varejao, Daniel Gibson, and maybe even Mo Williams. I say maybe Mo because he was not a part of Cleveland teams that had playoff success. I also think he would be an asset worth keeping if the Cavs can rebuild fast enough. They also need to sever ties with Anthony Parker and Antawn Jamison. They can wait on Parker, but I think they should trade Jamison now. Dude has about 4 days of Cavalier basketball left in him. I think they could do him and themselves a favor if they let him go. That would leave the Cleveland Cavaliers with a core of J.J. Hickson and Mo Williams. If they couple that with their lottery pick and trade acquisitions, the Cavaliers could be back in the playoffs in 2 years. Will they be title contenders in 6 years? I don’t know. What I do know is they won’t be losing 25 games in a row.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Does LeBron James Have The Credibility of A Villain?


The Heat Are The Main Event In The NBA

Let’s begin…

After the Miami Heat paired Dwayne Wade with LeBron James and Chris Bosh this summer, they became the biggest attraction in the NBA. Since then the media has tried to cast the Miami Heat as the bad guys, and LeBron James as the villain of the NBA. Maybe it is the black uniforms, or the fact that LeBron James has worn fangs on his mouth piece (By the way what the hell was that? You have a mouth piece with fangs? Why don’t you just come out and say, “I really miss being in high school, so I decided to dress like one of the cool kids).” I would argue that they have been miscast.

Now I would concede that LeBron hasn’t done anything to quell the idea of him being a villain. He has even been quoted say, “…I’ve kind of accepted this kind of villain role that everyone has placed on me, and I’m OK with it.” He may be okay with being a villain, but is he worthy of the title.

What has LeBron done to be called a villain? The only people he terrorizes are Cavalier fans and anyone who watch that decision show. Villains are supposed to intimidate their opponents. Think about sports villains like Barry Bonds, Mike Tyson, Reggie Miller, and Charles Oakley. They scared people as soon as they walked into the Arena (There are still people scared of Oakley. Shoot, I’m scared of Charles Oakley). Nobody is scared of LeBron. As a matter of fact people like him.

Have you ever seen James before a game? He’s always trying to find an opponent to hug, and high five. He welcomes the crowd with a powder toss, and even showcases a trick shot or two. So, if he were a villain, he would be the one you loved, but didn’t trust. Kind of like Wile E. Coyote. (He’s that guy you can’t stand at work, but you still want him to help you move).

Even if LeBron tries to portray himself as a bad guy, he will never allow himself to be a villain. For the last 10 years James has crafted an image of being the good guy. “The athlete that fans love and every kid wants to be.” What makes anyone thinks he’s going to walk away that? This guy spent a minute and half asking the world, “What should I do?” So why don’t we hold off on giving LeBron James the villain title until further notice.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.twitter.com/kortneyshane

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on January 13, 2011 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Emergency Post: LeBron James Talks Contraction “Child Please”


Should James Stop Talking?

Let’s begin…

At what point is, “I’m just a young kid” no longer a valid excuse for making a bad decision? I think it’s at the age of 25 or whenever you start making adult decisions. Whichever comes first.

I’m just a young kid is LeBron James‘ go to move. More than his step back jumper, or a dunk in traffic. He loves to tell you how young and innocent he is.

In the latest edition of I’m just a kid. James made a comment over the weekend where he supports the idea of contraction, and all-stars teaming up in the NBA (personally I agree with the statement, because of the level of incompetence in certain organizations. Can you say, L.A. Clippers)? He stated that it would be a better league, because teams would be more competitive.

This statement is unpopular because people around the league will lose jobs, and the players union is trying to negotiate a deal with the NBA. The players union wants to get their clients the most money possible. In order to receive that money you have to show that the league is profitable and the players deserve a huge chunk. So, if teams are contracted it shows that teams aren’t profitable, and it hinders the players negotiating power. In conclusion LeBron helped the other team, which isn’t the first time. Please see 2010 playoff Boston game 5.

When LeBron was questioned about his comments he said, “I don’t even know what the word contraction means…” Really…you want me to believe you made it to the age of 26 without knowing the definition of contraction. Come on man. Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining because sooner or later I’m going to taste the salt.

If LeBron just came out and said I’m a douche people would respect him more. And if you don’t know what words mean, STOP TALKING. Take a page out of the Michael Jordan Hand Book For P.R. Dummies and say nothing (Jordan never took a stand on anything. You could ask him if Wheaties truly was the breakfast of champions and he’d plead the fifth). Everyday I’m happier he left Cleveland, and took his talents to South beach…another “I’m just a kid” move.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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