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Did The Sweater Vest Fool You?? Yes Jim Tressel Plays The Game Too.


Let’s begin…

    First off, I think Jim Tressel knew that his players broke the rules, and I think he lied hoping that the issue would go away. Once the issue came to light he owned up to what he did, because he had nowhere else to turn. With that being said, is anyone surprised? This is college sports. It’s a system based off the exploitation of individuals that are denied the opportunity to profit off of their skills (If I read that too you and asked you to guess the profession. You would probably say black market prostitution or AAU basketball). Big time college sports are dirty, and when you’re in a dirty industry it’s hard to be clean while being successful. Just ask Randy Shannon of the University of Miami what a clean program gets you (Gets you fired in case you’re wondering).

Ohio State publicly reprimanded Jim Tressel yesterday in a press conference. They suspended him for 2 games and docked him $250,000. Now I think this is hypocritical. Look no further than the players that he covered up for. They got a five game suspension, and Tressel only got two? At the same time isn’t it also hypocritical that Terrell Pryor and the tattoo five got to play? Was it hypocritical that Cam Newton got to play last season? And while we’re at it lets sprinkle a little Reggie Bush scandal in here? The entire scope of college sports is hypocritical. So, can we please stop the farce that is, “College Student Athletes” and start paying the players.

There is too much money involved college sports to call it amateur athletics. Even Don King thinks college sports are immoral. There needs to be a union to represent the players. I propose the idea of giving players the option of a scholarship or cash (I’m talking straight cash homie). The amount of money would be collectively bargained through the union. If players opt for the cash, then they would forfeit the right to all amenities normally supplied by the university including tuition, books, and housing (I’m talking about being an adult homie).

Until changes are made these are the rules. Jim Tressel violated the rules, and should be punished. You can suspend him and his sweater vest for the entire season, but it’s not going to fix the problem. You have to end this idea of amateur athletics, and start compensating players. Now excuse me I have to wire some money to Thad Matta.

 

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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What The Heck Is A Michigan Man?


Bo Schembechler

Let’s begin…

So Rich Rodriguez got fired twice by Michigan this week (his firing originally surfaced Tuesday thought the Detroit Free Press. Michigan denied the reports, and the next day they fired Rich Rod). That was cold blooded. I think he should have gotten fired two and a half. The last half was uncalled for.

Rodriguez never fit at Michigan. In college sports your coach has to be a representation of what your school stands for. From his spread offense to the teary-eyed speech at the team banquet. Rich Rod never said Michigan Football. A school like Michgan is hard to break into as an outsider. There’s too much tradition and too many old people longing for the way things use to be. If you’re going to be different you better produce, and even then you’re never fully accepted, just ask Les Miles (He has a national title and wins 10 games every year, yet everyone at LSU can’t stand him). Some would argue that only a “Michigan Man” can succeed at Michigan.

Alright, this whole Michigan Man thing is a crock. First off Bo Schembechler (he established the term Michigan Man) wasnt even from Michigan. As a matter of fact Shembechuler received a degree from Ohio State which is the opposite of Michigan. That’s like saying, “We need an actor” and you hire a porn star. If you win games no one cares who you are or where you came from.

Part of me wants to say, “Michigan…you’re Michigan! Why are you even looking for coaches? Coaches look for you.” Michigan is the winningest program in the country. This isn’t Notre Dame longing for the past, or the University of Miami who was a flash in the pan. This is Michigan…best job in the country.

The Big Ten is a conference that is struggling to remain elite. They need the University of Michigan in order to be a great conference. It has been widely reported that Michigan would like to hire Jim Harbaugh. A good coach who played at the University of Michigan (He also fulfills their “We Need A Michigan Man Theory”). I hope they get Harbaugh, but if they don’t. Remember the times of Bo Schembechler and hire somebody that will win.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: BCS Bowl Games 2010


Let’s begin…

First read the headline…now read it again. That means I will not be breaking down 6-5 teams playing in the Top Ramen bowl (I’d rather talk about high school volleyball). So this is my apology to fans of irrelevant teams, playing in irrelevant games.

Here are my picks for compelling non BCS bowl games

Boise State beats Utah

Now let’s move on.

Fiesta Bowl

Connecticut Huskies vs. Oklahoma Sooners

The Huskies are going to get their doors blown off. I’m not going to waste my time explaining why. My only question in regard to this game is…why does the Big East have an automatic bid. I don’t know why they can’t allow the 4th automatic bid to go to the highest ranked BCS team, who’s Conference is not already represented in a BCS bowl games (So this year TCU would have got the automatic bid, and that would have made way for Boise State to play in a BCS bowl).

Oklahoma win, 40 – 10

Orange Bowl

Virginia Tech Hokies vs. Stanford Cardinals

I’m telling you don’t buy the hype. That should be the title for this game and all the BCS bowl games for that matter. Everybody has been talking about how great Stanford and Andrew Luck are, it makes you believe they’re actually a good team. I hate to break the news (I’m lying right there. I love breaking news, especially when it makes me look good) but Stanford isn’t that good. Now before you tell me about how John Harbough is an NFL coach and Andrew Luck is the best quarterback since Nute Rockney. Allow me to ask you a question…who have they beat (Don’t worry I will give you time to think. I know it takes a while to mentally sift through all those Pac-10 juggernauts. By the way the Pac-10 is the most overrated conference in the country).

While you’re still thinking let me address Virginia Tech. As we all know the Hokies got off to a rough start. After losing to Boise State to open the season, they lost to James Madison (I know some of you’ll are confused. You thought James Madison was only a president. Well he also plays football in Division 1-AA. Now go back to figuring out who Stanford beat). What no one talks about is how Virginia Tech hasn’t lost since then. The Hokies ran away with the Coastal Conference of the ACC, and cap their run by winning the ACC Championship.

I respect Stanford as a football team, but I haven’t seen enough to say they have been truly tested. Virginia Tech will beat (hey you guys still thinking I’m making my pick) Stanford, because overall they have better players. Stanford won’t be able to keep up with their speed.

Hokies win 30 – 24

Sugar Bowl

Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Arkansas Razorbacks

In recent history the Ohio State Buckeyes have struggled against the SEC in bowl games. The Bucks have had trouble trying to stop the spread offense. Now they did beat Oregon last year (who runs a spread offense), but maybe it was in admiration.

The Arkansas Razorbacks are a good team that has proved themselves in the SEC. They have an NFL quarterback and a serviceable coach. However they’re not that good. Now I give them credit for over achieving, but Ohio State isn’t going to give them any. “So congratulations Arkansas now brace for a beating.” They have no business playing in this game. You may say, “Ohio State struggles with the SEC.” I agree that they have struggled, but this team is barely a top 5 SEC team.

Ohio State should beat Arkansas in dominating fashion.

Buckeyes win, 30 – 20

Rose Bowl

TCU Horned Frogs vs. Wisconsin Badgers

This is the best game out of all of the bowl games. I’m expecting a heavy weight championship fight. You have the bruising running game of Wisconsin in one corner, and TCU’s defense in the other corner.

I hear people trying to downgrade TCU because of their competition, and I agree. I don’t think they are the 3rd best team in the country. However, that doesn’t matter. I judge teams based on what I see. I saw TCU play, and they have the best defense in the Country. I think it will make for an interesting game, because Wisconsin has the best running game in the country. The Horn Frogs offense is also underrated. Their senior quarterback Andy Dalton can flat out play. I think their passing game could pose serious problems for the Badgers.

I had the misfortune of experiencing Wisconsin when they beat Ohio State (And man did they beat them. I haven’t seen someone dominate the spotlight like that since Beyoncé was in Destiny’s Child). Wisconsin is a good football, and they’ll be ready to play. Some of their wins are a bit overrated, but they won the games. The problem with Wisconsin is their biggest strength is their biggest flaw. The Badgers run the ball, run the ball, and run the ball. That’s a good way to win in the Big Ten, but when you play warm weather games on a neutral field. You have to be able to throw the ball.

I think TCU will stop Wisconsin’s running game and narrowly win this game.

Horned Frogs win, 22 – 20

The BCS National Championship

Oregon Ducks vs. Auburn Tigers

Auburn is better than Oregon. However, the best team doesn’t always win. So allow me to make a case for Oregon.

The Ducks have the most efficient offense in college football (by efficient I mean they score fast…I wanted to define that is case you didn’t have a dictionary handy, or hadn’t left your house since 1910). Their spread offense is not like the other ones being run in college football. Usually a spread offense is based on a finesse style of play where the object is to get the ball to your athletes in space. Oregon’s offense can not only spread you out, but with LaMicheal James they have the ability to be a power running team. This makes the opposition vulnerable to play action passing one every play. Consequently your defense is never comfortable and always off balance. Defensively the ducks are extremely limited. They play great with a lead, but in tight games their flaws are evident.

The Auburn Tigers are the best team in the country. With Cam Newton they have the ability to control your entire team. Newton single handedly got Auburn to the national championship (which is what you’re supposed to do when you’re getting paid).I would like t be able to point to all the qualities Auburn has, but I can’t find them. I don’t know how they beat LSU, Arkansas, and Alabama. I picked against Auburn in every big game. I’m not going to look like an idiot again. The Tigers are beast. Cam Newton will earn his pay check.

Tigers win, 35 – 21

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 8


The Last Two Undefeated SEC Teams Will Battle This Weekend

Let’s begin…

    The AP Ranked #1 team went down this weekend. The Ohio State Buckeyes were beaten by The Wisconsin Badgers (feel free to substitute “dominated” for the word beaten). That was the kind of game where one team took the upper hand early and held on for the win. I don’t think The Badgers are a better team, but they were last Saturday.

    After this weekend I don’t know who the best in anything is. I don’t know the best team or the best quarterback. Then I looked at Boise State. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Boise State has the best quarterback in college football, in Kellen Moore. I don’t think they have the best team, but I think they will play in the National Championship. Eventually I think the best team will rise to the top. So, just sit back, try not to get work up about the BCS, and watch the games.

    My game of the week is LSU v. Auburn

Breakdown

    The LSU Tigers v. The Auburn Tigers will be a match between the only unbeaten teams left in the SEC. Let me start with LSU, the most underrated, undefeated team in college football. Everyone wants to fire Les Miles because of his coaching, and sometimes I think he’s actually trying to lose games. However, the guy just keeps on winning. This year LSU has Patrick Peterson, the most exciting player in college football this year. If you have heard about him, YouTube him now, I’ll wait… On the other side of the field is the Auburn Tigers. At quarterback they have what many people think is the leader in the Heisman Trophy race, in Cameron Newton. Newton was nothing short of spectacular in Auburn’s win over Arkansas last week. Cam Newton accounted for 4 touchdowns last week, in what was the highest scoring game in the history of the SEC. Although Newton ran for 3 touchdowns and 188 yards, I do think he will hold up physically because of his size (Unlike Denard Robinson who was injured again this weekend. I think I had that right). So, make no mistake about it. Cam Newtown is the real deal. I think that Auburn is good enough to stay unbeaten at home, but if this game is close LSU will win. As much as I want to straddle the fence, I will predict a close game.

LSU wins 26 – 24

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 3


Nebraska Will Take On Washington In Seattle

Let’s begin…

Review

    Did big teams show up this weekend? I think so. Alabama, Ohio State, Oklahoma, and Florida pounded their competition. They proved that they are in the 10 of college football. One of those teams will win the National title this year, and all of them will play in a BCS game.

    The big performance of the weekend goes to Denard Robinson of Michigan. He showed Notre Dame in one game why they’ve been losing for the last 10 years. He has something Notre Dame hasn’t had…speed (along with dreadlocks and shoes without any laces).

    I think I feel bad that Boise State loss this weekend without even playing (thanks to Virginia Tech‘s losing to James Madison).

Preview

    There aren’t many good games this week. I will be watching Michigan State v. Notre Dame and Iowa v. Arizona. However my game of the week is Nebraska v. Washington. This is probably not the sexiest game, but I have to give some love to the west coast.

Breakdown

    The Washington Huskies really have their backs against the wall this weekend. Nebraska is a better team at least I think they are. If you take a quick look at them, you would think they are the power team of last year. However, when you look closer they are a one dimensional team, with a run first mentality. They have looked great against terrible teams, and still haven’t been able to generate a passing game. Washington on the other hand is a more balanced team. They do have a limited defense, but they have a good coach to compensate. They also have two ex-factors working for them. They have home field advantage and they have a great quarterback (Jake Locker). If Washington can stop the run they will win the game going away. I don’t think they will do that, but they will do enough to win.

I have Washington wining, 27 – 24

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

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Posted by on September 15, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 2


The Game of The Week Will Be in The Horseshoe

Let’s begin…

Review

    “Boise State and their Cinderella story lives to fight another day.” What? I saw the game on Monday night. I had some food to eat, I had some drinks, so I could have been a little sleepy, but I didn’t see a Cinderella team on the field. They were wearing those weird Cinderella like uniforms, but you can’t let that throw you off. A Cinderella doesn’t go undefeated for 2 years, and win an opening day road game in front of 90,000 people. What I saw Monday night was a BCS contender. Now I did pick Virginia Tech to win the game, but I was wrong. Boise State is a better team than Virginia Tech, and they proved that in D.C. on Monday night.

    I was also somewhat impressed by Notre Dame. I don’t know if I was impressed as much as I was surprised. They had an offensive game plan. I haven’t seen them have a game plan for 4 years. Good for Notre Dame. Hopefully the next time I’m surprised it’s because you beat a team that was actually good.

Preview

    So this week in college football there are great power teams in action. You have Michigan v. Notre Dame. That game has some baggage attached to it. If Michigan can win that game Rich Rodriguez will probably keep his job. At the same time, if Notre Dame wins Brian Kelly might get a lifetime contract. By the way where is Michigan’s quarterback from? Dude doesn’t tie his shoes. He’s probably from some place where they chase rabbits for fun. Penn Sate v Alabama could be an upset, however it’s more likely to be a massacre. My game of the week is Miami v. Ohio State.

Breakdown

    Someone is going to pass a test this week. Will Ohio State step up, and prove they have a big game team after recent years of disappointment. Will Miami’s young talented team pull an upset, and propel themselves into National title contention. For Ohio State this game comes down to expectations. “Can you live up to being a favorite?” The Buckeyes have better players in every position, a better coach, and home field advantage. For Miami you have to have composer in a hostile environment. The Hurricanes need to play out of their minds. They can’t get caught up in everything surround the game. They must run the ball, and focus on getting first downs. However that mind friend, will not happen. Miami is young, inexperienced, and they’re going to “The Horseshoe.” That’s a bad combination. You may be “The U” but you won’t beat “The” Ohio State University.

Ohio State wins, 31 -17.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

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