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The 2011 Eastern Conference Finals, Chicago Bulls vs. Miami Heat


Three of the Best Players Will Be Showcased In Eastern Conference Finals

Let’s begin…

Eastern Conference Finals The Chicago Bulls vs. The Miami Heat

In the Eastern Conference we have the top 2 seeds battling it out for the right to go to the NBA Finals. When this season started I wouldn’t have dreamed of this being a possible scenario (which probably says more about me). However after some injuries and bad trades (shout out to Otis Smith and Danny Ainge) here we are.

Don’t be prisoners of the moment. We have seen Derrick Rose and the Chicago Bulls accomplish great feats throughout the regular season. At one time it was believed that they were the odds on favorite to go to the finals, but as the great Notorious B.I.G. said, “Things Done Changed.” During the post season the Bulls have been proven to be a limited team that does everything right. They’re kind of like a good looking guy with a limited vocabulary. Dude looks good, smells, and has good hygiene, but at the end of the day he going home alone, because he doesn’t have the mouth piece needed to get it done before last call (anyone can get it done after last call. At that point only low hanging fruit is left. You get no points for landing grenades). You can point to the Bulls and they’re defensive intensity, but everybody is playing with intensity at this time of the year. In addition Miami is the best defensive team left in the playoffs. So, Chicago’s two biggest strengths are null.

Now the Bulls definitely have the advantage at point guard. And when I say advantage, I mean it isn’t close. Derrick Rose will embarrass any point on Miami’s roster. Rose probably relishes the opportunity to go up against Mike Bibby. Heck I relish the opportunity to go up against Mike Bibby. Miami should petition the NBA to have the point guard position stricken from NBA rosters, and propose 4 on 4 as an alternative. So everyone would agree that Rose will have his way. Then what?

The Bulls don’t have anybody consistently outside of Rose. Carlos Boozer would be great in this series, but he’s not healthy. So, you’re left with an energetic Joakim Noah, a good player in Luol Deng and a specialist in Kyle Korver. If Miami is smart they will defend Korver and Deng with LeBron and Wade. Bosh will guard Boozer, which is a wash, because Boozer is injured and Bosh is…Bosh. The Bulls are then left with Noah at an advantage at Center. That’s just isn’t enough. You can point at depth as a means to offset this problem, but what happens when LeBron and Wade play 40 minutes…oh yeah they drop 30 on your 7th and 8th men (Depth can be the most overrated thing in the playoffs, especially when the other team’s core is young).

The only way the Miami Heat will lose is if LeBron James and Dwayne Wade have bad games. Those two guys must play great simultaneously for 4 games. The Heat don’t have the margin of error to get by without either of those guys. If the Bulls can somehow find out how to get one of those guys off their game, they will win this series. Now can they do it?

The Bulls problem this series will be offense. Defensively they will be fine. They may even be great, but if they can’t score they will lose (please see the Boston Celtics). This series is summed up perfectly by a friend of mine who said, “If you take away the 3 best players in this series. The Bulls will win this series hands down, because of their depth.” The problem is the 3 best players are playing in this series, and Miami has the best 2.

The Miami Heat win 4 – 1

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on May 14, 2011 in Basketball

 

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The 2011 NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Round 2


Let’s begin…

The Chicago Bulls vs. The Atlanta Hawks.

After struggled to dominate games in the first round, there is reason to believe that they could struggle this round. This may seem like blasphemy, but Derrick Rose is not the second coming. That right I said it. In the playoffs you can’t win with a small guard being your leading scorer. There is only 1 small guard to lead their team to a championship, and his name is Isiah Thomas. By the way Thomas would wipe the floor with Rose. Dude isn’t in his league (Another notable small guard to lead his team to the finals is Allen Iverson, and he would wipe the floor with Rose too). With that being said, this isn’t the championship. This is the second round against the Atlanta Hawks.

When looking at the Atlanta Hawks you have to like some of their matchups. In their starting lineup they have the advantage at 3 and maybe even 4 of the five positions. Chicago will not be able to match their interior toughness. With the combination of Zaza Pachulia and Al Horford will overwhelm Boozer (which is nothing new, just take a look at the last series). Henceforth the Bulls will not be able to rely on post scoring. I also think the Joe Johnson vs. Luol Deng matchup could be interesting. Johnson has all the tools to exploit Deng, but he is Joe Johnson. So who knows?

I think the Hawks would be a no brainer to win this series. The problem is Atlanta is the most unreliable team in the playoffs. The Chicago will breeze through this series in rout to the Conference Finals. Derrick Rose and the Bulls live to fight another day.

Chicago wins 4 – 1

The Miami Heat vs. The Boston Celtics

YES YES YES, finally it’s on. The basketball community has been waiting on this since LeBron announced his decision to take his talents. Will LeBron quit once again during game 5 (You know Delonte West will be in the building and Gloria James will be drinking)? I don’t know, but we will all be witnesses.

This is the marquee series in the second round of the eastern conference, and maybe even the entire league. You obvious have headliners in LeBron James, D Wade, and Paul Pierce. However you also have the underlying story line of “The Traditional Team” vs. “We Put This Thing Together Ourselves Now Stop Us.” Let’s get into it.

The Miami Heat have been a work in progress for the entire season. Personally I’m shocked, not because of the amount of wins and losses. I just thought that the flow of their team on both ends of the floor would be more fluent by this point. The have had an unspeakably tough time integrating role players with their superstars. Who would have thought Mike Miller would be an afterthought, while Mike Bibby was in the starting lineup. With that being said the Miami Heat are the most talented team in the playoffs. You could argue that at any time against any team in the league they have the two best players on the floor. I don’t not sure how that will transfer to their series to Boston, but it gives them a great chance.

The Boston Celtics are an interesting this basketball team. Part of me is not sure how to access their chances, because of the amount of players with no significant playoff appearance. On the other hand these are the Celtics. They have championship medal. We aren’t talking about chopped liver (chopped liver? How old am I?). This is Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen.

Boston has a huge advantage at point guard. As a matter fact I would argue that he is the most important person player in this series for the Celtics. Rajon Rondo has a significant advantage against every point guard on the Heat’s roster (unless 1999 Tim Hardaway is walking through that door “Shout Out To Run TMC”). If Rondo can exploit the Heat he way he has exploited playoff teams in the past, this series won’t be close.

If you pair Rondo with Boston’s inside play creates a problem that Miami won’t be able to solve in a best of 7 series.

Boston wins 4 – 2

Be sure to check out the Western Conference preview

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2011 in Basketball

 

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The New York Knicks Should Get Use To Early Playoff Exits?


Let’s begin…

Really New York, Really? This was team you were all excited about. All anyone said going into the playoffs was, “The Knicks are the most likely team to upset in the Eastern Conference.” The Knicks followed up those predictions, by being the only team to be swept out of the playoffs. Even Ricky Rubio thinks the Kicks got too much hype. “Man that was a waste of time.”

Now granted the Kicks were injured, Amare Stoudemire got banged up, and Chauncey Billups was virtually ineffective. Which is kind of the way he plays when he’s healthy at this point in his career (Too Soon)? At the same time, the Knicks got swept, and weren’t even competitive in two of the losses. I hate to brake it to Knicks fans (actually I love breaking it to New York. Anytime they leave their groin open I kick them) but get used to losing early in the playoffs.

The New York Knicks have obvious deficiency. Defensively they are inept, their coaching can be questionable, and the bench is challenged to be serviceable. I mean anytime Renaldo Balkman is in your potential playoff rotation, things ain’t good. Now these are problems that could be fixed, but it won’t be that easy. You have to factor in the looming CBA this offseason which presumably will decrease the salary cap. So the Knicks will be able to add pieces via trade, but they will not be in the market for major free agent accusations. This means you are looking at the Knicks core for the next 5 years. So at best they will be the third best team in the east at best for the foreseeable future (Miami and Chicago are 1 and 2 in no particular order). So say it with me, “Things ain’t good.”

I expect to be a very competitive team in the regular season, and post season going forward. They may even have a season where they finish with the best record. I mean they have the best scorer in the league. With that being said, they aren’t winning a championship. Their style of play coupled with their roster, is not set up for winning in the playoffs. So, good luck with that New York. You know there’s always Fubu.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?


Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 29, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Emergency Post: LeBron James Talks Contraction “Child Please”


Should James Stop Talking?

Let’s begin…

At what point is, “I’m just a young kid” no longer a valid excuse for making a bad decision? I think it’s at the age of 25 or whenever you start making adult decisions. Whichever comes first.

I’m just a young kid is LeBron James‘ go to move. More than his step back jumper, or a dunk in traffic. He loves to tell you how young and innocent he is.

In the latest edition of I’m just a kid. James made a comment over the weekend where he supports the idea of contraction, and all-stars teaming up in the NBA (personally I agree with the statement, because of the level of incompetence in certain organizations. Can you say, L.A. Clippers)? He stated that it would be a better league, because teams would be more competitive.

This statement is unpopular because people around the league will lose jobs, and the players union is trying to negotiate a deal with the NBA. The players union wants to get their clients the most money possible. In order to receive that money you have to show that the league is profitable and the players deserve a huge chunk. So, if teams are contracted it shows that teams aren’t profitable, and it hinders the players negotiating power. In conclusion LeBron helped the other team, which isn’t the first time. Please see 2010 playoff Boston game 5.

When LeBron was questioned about his comments he said, “I don’t even know what the word contraction means…” Really…you want me to believe you made it to the age of 26 without knowing the definition of contraction. Come on man. Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining because sooner or later I’m going to taste the salt.

If LeBron just came out and said I’m a douche people would respect him more. And if you don’t know what words mean, STOP TALKING. Take a page out of the Michael Jordan Hand Book For P.R. Dummies and say nothing (Jordan never took a stand on anything. You could ask him if Wheaties truly was the breakfast of champions and he’d plead the fifth). Everyday I’m happier he left Cleveland, and took his talents to South beach…another “I’m just a kid” move.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 28, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Christmas Day Basketball, Featuring Juggernauts


Will The Miam Heat Hype Machine Crank Up?

Let’s begin…

I can’t wait for the Christmas, because of the slate of intriguing NBA games. I feel like I’m 7 years old again I might just sleep by the Television and wake up every 15 minutes to see if it’s 11:30 (2:30 east coast time. Allow me to show some love to the west coast here. They have to watch the Seahawks play for goodness sake. Let me throw them a bone). This has been the most exciting NBA regular season since 1995 when Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls. The NBA has star power, intrigue, and most importantly…juggernauts. If I knew all it took was a decision by LeBron to create this kind of excitement? I would have signed up for it a long time ago. I would have even help scrounge up some kids to beef up that boys’ and girls’ audience.

Now there are plenty of people opposed to the NBA as currently constructed, because of the unwatchable teams at the bottom of the league. If that’s your concern I understand (Shoot I’m a Cleveland Cavaliers‘ fan, so I feel your pain. You couldn’t pay me to watch 82 games of that). This summer I thought this would be bad for the league. Then I realized, “I’m emotionally invested in the NBA during the summer? This is great.” Do you know what’s worse than having 15 unwatchable teams? (You’re not really supposed to think about that question. That’s just a non-rhetorical question that makes me feel like I’m making a groundbreaking point “I’m dropping knowledge”)…having 2 great teams and 25 uncompelling teams that are just okay (please see the NBA 1998 – 2004).

There are 8 NBA juggernauts in this order: Boston Celtics, San Antonio Spurs, L.A. Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (tie), Chicago Bulls, and Oklahoma City Thunder (Feel free to complain). These teams have managed to make the regular season mean something, when it means nothing at all. I would argue out of all professional sports, basketball’s regular season means the least. In the last 10 years only 2 teams have led the regular season in wins and went on to win the championship. So, these Christmas day games are going to be great, but outcome it really doesn’t, unless Miami wins by double digits.

If the Miami Heat beat the L.A. Lakers convincingly; ESPN, VS, and even The Food Network, will re-fire the hype machine. You remember that machine…the one that continues to show the first 30 seconds of the decision, followed by the championship celebration in Miami the next day. It’s been out of order ever since Boston beat Miami for the second time and LeBron accidently bumped his coach on purpose. I don’t expect the out of order sign to come off of that machine. Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers will be ready to play. I think Kobe’s been ready to play ever since Miami celebrated their “9 consecutive championships” (They haven’t actually won 9 championships. Just in case some dope is looking that up). This game will be competitive, but the Lakers have too much for the Heat to deal with. Miami will lose this game, and sport networks will actually have to work for a lead story.

Enjoy the games and embrace the juggernauts. Personally I’m going to start taking Benadryl and drinking NyQuil, so I can fall asleep.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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This Thursday LeBron James’ Talents Will Be In Cleveland Ohio


This Thursday December 2nd LeBron Will Be In Cleveland, But Will He Bring His Powder?

Let’s begin…

On December 2nd at 8pm TNT will have my undivided attention. LeBron James and his talents will be in Cleveland Ohio at the Quicken Loans Arena.

Now this is great for me. I’m a Cleveland sports fan, and this is one of two times i will be able to see my team on television. I will also get to see the smile on Dan Gilbert‘s face as the city of Cleveland welcomes LeBron. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gilbert flies in Delonte West and seats him behind the Miami’s bench.

Now I’m not delusional. I’m expecting Cleveland to not only lose but be dominated by Miami. I expect LeBron to channel is inner Wilt Chamberlain, and go for 100 points.

I also think the Cleveland Arena to be the ugliest scene in the NBA since the malice in the palace. I think beers and batteries will be thrown. I believe the over under on in game interruptions sits at 3 (and I’m taking the over). I only have one request from Cleveland fans. At some point in the game I want everyone to stand up, grab their elbow, and chant, “Game 5, Game 5, Game 5.”

After this summer I’m not sure how smart LeBron James is. I know LeBron James the publicist, should not only be fired, but he should be pelted with common sense. Many people believe his public image can’t get lower. However, I believe his public image elevator could find a trap door in the basement if he decides to throws chalk up into the air Thursday night.

LeBron James has no perception of reality (If you don’t know that, you’re just not paying attention). Why don’t we take a look at the past? He wore a Yankees cap to an Indians home playoff game, and dismissed it by saying he grew up a Yankees fan. When he was called out for quitting on his team, he used his elbow as an excuse. And he used a $2.5 million dollar donation to the Boys and Girls Club, as a pawn in his narcissistic approach to “The Decision”. The public could accept his excuses as fact, because he was able to hide any malicious intent. However, that will change if on December 2nd, he continues his pregame tradition of tossing chalk into the air (a tradition that belong to Kevin Garnett before him and Michael Jordan before him). That action will not only be a kick in the groin for Cleveland, but it will be an unveiling of the character of someone that was idolized. Someone who would like you to believe he’s a kid that has just made some mistakes.

There are times when you have to deal with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. On December 2nd LeBron James will walk into his ex-boyfriend’s house with his new lover. He should be proud of what he has now, but don’t forget about who use to love you. Respect the fans, take the boos, and for goodness sake don’t throw powder in their faces.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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