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The 2011 NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Round 2


Let’s begin…

The Chicago Bulls vs. The Atlanta Hawks.

After struggled to dominate games in the first round, there is reason to believe that they could struggle this round. This may seem like blasphemy, but Derrick Rose is not the second coming. That right I said it. In the playoffs you can’t win with a small guard being your leading scorer. There is only 1 small guard to lead their team to a championship, and his name is Isiah Thomas. By the way Thomas would wipe the floor with Rose. Dude isn’t in his league (Another notable small guard to lead his team to the finals is Allen Iverson, and he would wipe the floor with Rose too). With that being said, this isn’t the championship. This is the second round against the Atlanta Hawks.

When looking at the Atlanta Hawks you have to like some of their matchups. In their starting lineup they have the advantage at 3 and maybe even 4 of the five positions. Chicago will not be able to match their interior toughness. With the combination of Zaza Pachulia and Al Horford will overwhelm Boozer (which is nothing new, just take a look at the last series). Henceforth the Bulls will not be able to rely on post scoring. I also think the Joe Johnson vs. Luol Deng matchup could be interesting. Johnson has all the tools to exploit Deng, but he is Joe Johnson. So who knows?

I think the Hawks would be a no brainer to win this series. The problem is Atlanta is the most unreliable team in the playoffs. The Chicago will breeze through this series in rout to the Conference Finals. Derrick Rose and the Bulls live to fight another day.

Chicago wins 4 – 1

The Miami Heat vs. The Boston Celtics

YES YES YES, finally it’s on. The basketball community has been waiting on this since LeBron announced his decision to take his talents. Will LeBron quit once again during game 5 (You know Delonte West will be in the building and Gloria James will be drinking)? I don’t know, but we will all be witnesses.

This is the marquee series in the second round of the eastern conference, and maybe even the entire league. You obvious have headliners in LeBron James, D Wade, and Paul Pierce. However you also have the underlying story line of “The Traditional Team” vs. “We Put This Thing Together Ourselves Now Stop Us.” Let’s get into it.

The Miami Heat have been a work in progress for the entire season. Personally I’m shocked, not because of the amount of wins and losses. I just thought that the flow of their team on both ends of the floor would be more fluent by this point. The have had an unspeakably tough time integrating role players with their superstars. Who would have thought Mike Miller would be an afterthought, while Mike Bibby was in the starting lineup. With that being said the Miami Heat are the most talented team in the playoffs. You could argue that at any time against any team in the league they have the two best players on the floor. I don’t not sure how that will transfer to their series to Boston, but it gives them a great chance.

The Boston Celtics are an interesting this basketball team. Part of me is not sure how to access their chances, because of the amount of players with no significant playoff appearance. On the other hand these are the Celtics. They have championship medal. We aren’t talking about chopped liver (chopped liver? How old am I?). This is Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen.

Boston has a huge advantage at point guard. As a matter fact I would argue that he is the most important person player in this series for the Celtics. Rajon Rondo has a significant advantage against every point guard on the Heat’s roster (unless 1999 Tim Hardaway is walking through that door “Shout Out To Run TMC”). If Rondo can exploit the Heat he way he has exploited playoff teams in the past, this series won’t be close.

If you pair Rondo with Boston’s inside play creates a problem that Miami won’t be able to solve in a best of 7 series.

Boston wins 4 – 2

Be sure to check out the Western Conference preview

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on April 30, 2011 in Basketball

 

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Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?


Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Posted by on December 29, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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“Taking Your Talents to South Beach” Chris Paul Will Make it A Trend


LeBron and Paul Have More Than Frienship in Common

Let’s begin…

So there’s a report out in regard to Chris Paul. According to Chris Broussard, Chris Paul has request a trade from the New Orleans Hornets. Hi preferred destinations are said to be New York, Portland, and Orlando which is said to be a top that list. I think Paul’s request was caused by the decision that the Heat’s small forward made, and it may even reveal why he made the move. He’s said to be “best friends” with Chris Paul (I had to put best friends in parenthesis, because James (used his name) is best friends with everyone. He’s best friends with Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Jay-Z, Donald Trump, Warren Buffet…he’s probably best friends with Mel Brooks (the alcoholic not the comedian). Chris Paul and LeBron (did it again) had conversations about where they would play their respective careers. So, that leads me to believe that they both knew each other was thinking about leaving their respective teams before LeBron (I give up) made his decision. And if you didn’t know that, you’re just not paying attention. So, maybe LeBron made his decision to stay ahead of the curve. Maybe Chris Paul decided to leave now, and exercise his power, after he saw it was possible to pull off. I side with the later. I think players say think about what it would be like to play with another great player, but because of the salary cap they don’t think it will happen. However, this summer that was proved wrong.

    I hope that Chris Paul ends up playing for the Orlando Magic. Now as a Cleveland sports fan I’m a little torn, because I see what James leaving did to a city. At the same time the duty of a true fan is to wish vengeance on a player that doesn’t leave the right way. And what better way to wish vengeance than to hope Chris Paul plays in Orlando. Just imagine LeBron tries to back door his way into a championship, but wait a minute. Chris Paul and Dwight Howard form the Magic 2. Not only are the Magic younger, but the team is better. So you spin this forward 3 years, and Miami hasn’t won a championship. There’s dissension among the Heat, Pat Riley comes back, and Van Gundy is smiling. Imagine the hysteria and the backlash. I can see it right now. LeBron takes an hour out of ESPN, he’s at a Sports Authority in Las Vegas, he donating the money to Hookers, and he says, “This fall I have decided to take my talents to Venice Beach, and play for the L.A. Lakers.”

    This summer things have changed in the NBA. For the last 10 years everyone has been trying to find the next Michael Jordan. “Who’s going to take over?” We’ve been reaching for what the NBA was going to be. “Well now we have arrived at an answer. The NBA is now the league of super powers. Stop looking for the next Michael Jordan, because he won’t be here for another 15 years. Instead embrace the supper teams. For the next 10 years the NBA will be reminiscent to the 70s and 80s. It will become the undisputed number two sport in America, and become must see T.V.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

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Posted by on July 24, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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NBA Playoffs Review Part 1: NBA Finals


Let’s begin…

So it’s over. First, I have to offer a formal apology to Doc Rivers, and the Boston Celtics. I was completely wrong about your team. You all were a true championship team, and I was wrong. So, I will no longer rip Doc Rivers for his lack of coaching skills, especially since he worked Phil Jackson throughout the Finals. So the title for “questionable coaching” now belongs to Flip Saunders. I still can’t figure out how he keeps getting jobs.

The NBA Finals was a very good series. The two best teams this series reached the finals, and they didn’t disappoint. There was a blowout, flopping, comedy, and suspense. That’s everything you want a great series to be. By the way, I love the Shrek and Donkey line. I think I like it because Glenn Davis looks like Shrek (not a compliment if you’re wondering), and a cartoon movie fits Nate Robinson perfectly. Why you ask, because it’s has nothing to do with basketball. And I believe the further Nate is away from the ball, the better his career is. I believe one reason the Celtics didn’t win is Nate Robinson. I just don’t think the basketball hierarchy could have accepted him into the Celtic championship club. Just think: Sam Jones, Larry Bird, Dennis Johnson, Kevin Garnett, Kevin McHale, and Nate Robinson. Someone doesn’t belong in that group.

The Celtics had a fantastic season, and they overachieved. As for the champion L.A. Lakers, congratulations, they were the better team throughout the season. Kobe Bryant has now put himself in the discussion of being one of the top 5 NBA players of all time. Now that we have gotten that out the way, let’s talk game seven. Game 7 came down to one thing, closing the game. The Celtics were in the position to win NBA title, but it was derailed Paul Pierce the super hero. Somewhere in between Game2 against Cleveland and Game 7 against the Lakers, Paul Pierce forgot that the reason he was in the finals was Paul Pierce. Without Rondo, the Celtics wouldn’t have gotten out of the second round. However, at the end of Game 7 Pierce is running isolation plays. How many games did he win this post season running isolation? I’ll tell you, none. Dude pass the ball, and run the offense through Rondo. Here’s a rule of thumb, don’t be Vice Carter if you don’t have to be.

Once again Congratulations to the Lakers.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

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Posted by on June 19, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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NBA Finals 2010 Preview, who will win? I know…


Let’s begin…

“Oh, so we made it this far…” It’s time for the final act, but before we do that, lets put Orlando and Phoenix to rest.

    Orlando, what happened? Please don’t tell me. Let me guess. Was it Vince Carter? So, I guess this series puts the whole Vince Carter, Hedo Turkoglu debate to rest. Now everyone knows. Even though I thought everyone already knew. I guess Vince is like a woman that’s been on Maury 7 times. We’re hoping she finds the father, and we hope Vince can find a playoff game. In the mean time it’s fun watching him try. Orlando was a better team than the Boston Celtics, but the best team doesn’t always win. At the same time you have to give the Celtics credit. They knew they could leave Rashard Lewis open. They knew Vince was a playoff bum. And they knew it would take Stan Van Gundy 3 games to play J.J. Redick. Redick is not a great player, but they needed basketball IQ on the floor. That’s right Orlando lost because they were dumb. Now that they’re done lets start the Dwight Howard rumors. How about Howard to the Knicks?

    “Phoenix, the rollercoaster season is over. You guys over achieved. No one thought you would even slightly put it together. I give you credit for entertaining me once again, and not playing defense. You guys even tried playing a zone. I haven’t seen a zone since I played JV basketball.” I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that they played a zone, or the fact that it worked. I think I have to give you credit for at least trying, but enjoy the finals at home. Also get ready for the offseason rollercoaster. Lets call it, “Amare Stoudemire.”

The Finals

    So we have arrived. Celtics v. Lakers. The most storied franchises in the NBA. Old fans will watch because it reminds them of their youth. Young fans watch because of Kobe Bryant. Everyone else watches it, because they don’t want to watch hockey. I can’t believe that Boston made it. Not only do they have Doc Rivers as a coach, but they beat Miami, Cleveland, and Orlando. Those were the three toughest possible Eastern Conference matchups. The Lakers on the other hand were expected to be in this position. Many people felt they were the best team all season, and they proved to be the best team in the Eastern Conference. If you’re keeping count at home, they’ve been to 3 NBA Championships in a row. Now lets ask Phil Jackson if he’ll leave L.A. to coach the Nets.

    This is a tough series to call. I could see it going either way. So let’s break it down player for player.

    Kobe v. Paul Pierce. I give the edge to Kobe. He’s superior in every way, and he’s the best player in the NBA.

    Ron Artest v. Ray Allen. This matchup is even. Offense cancels out the defense for both players.

    Rajon Rondo v. Derrik Fisher. Rondo v. Fisher, need I say more. This match up is a mismatch and it’s not even close. The point guard position is the Lakers biggest flaw.

    Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum v. Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins. I give the Lakers a slight edge in the front court. The Lakers are better offensively while the Celtics have the defensive edge. Great offense always beats great defense.

    Rasheed Wallace, Glen Davis, Tony Allen v. Lamar Odom, Jordan Farmar, Shannon Brown. I definitely take the Celtics bench. Rasheed will be smart and physical. Glen Davis will play hard. At certain times during the NBA Finals Tony Allen will bet the best player on the floor. Lamar Odom is up and down, east and west. He could give you a great game, but it depends on how many Gummy Bears he eats at halftime. The rest of the Lakers bench is useless. I give a huge edge to the Celtics.

I keep trying to talk myself into the Lakers winning the finals, but I can’t do it. I think they can win if Rondo doesn’t play well, but I don like picking a team based on a big time player failing. I will give the Lakers a punchers chance. They have the best and baddest man on the planet, Kobe Bryant. If Kobe can pull this off, I will rank him right up there with Jordan. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I will take the Celtics in 5. Rajon Rondo will be the Finals MVP.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on June 2, 2010 in Basketball, Sports

 

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Taser, Tiger, and a Triple Double: Sports week Review


Let’s begin…

Alright so let’s review a little of what happened in sports this weekend.

Why don’t we start with the quitter this weekend? Tiger Woods, I never thought I would say Tiger Woods was a quitter, but he is. Tiger, you’re my man, but come on. Two weeks in a row you have quit on the golf course. This weekend you said you quit because of neck pain. Really Tiger, you’re neck is bothering you? Tell the truth Tiger…it’s the hoes. They use to help you concentrate, and now that Ginger is gone you’ve lost your edge. It was obvious that it was the hoes when I watch your swing. Two years ago during the U.S. Open I say you hit one of the best shots you’re ever hit, and I noticed during your backswing you mouth the sentence “Pimpin ain’t easy.” You lost the risk in you. By the way if you’re going to quit, don’t blame it on your neck. Blame it on the Alcohol. Just say, “Hey I was doing shots at the Green Iguana last night, and the Bacardi is distorting my depth perception.” And just think all of this could have been avoided if you had 2 cell phones.

So, by now you’ve probably heard and maybe even saw the kid that got tased during the baseball game. Look he ran on the field like an idiot was laughed at like an idiot, and he got tased like an idiot. And I’m glad they did it, not because he could have hurt someone, but because I wanted to laugh. I made that the background photo on my computer. I haven’t seen something that funny, since that kid got tased on the University of Florida campus. “Don’t tase me bro.” is the best line ever uttered.

I think I will speak for everyone when I say I have save d the best for last. Cavs v. Celtics Game 4, Rajon Rondo had a great triple double. To grab 18 rebounds are commendable, but to do that from the point guard position is special. He put it down, and made it official that the Boston Celtics are his team. I know Pierce, Allen, and Garnett think differently, but just look at the box score in this series. If you need more evidence look at KG’s knees, Allen’s one dimensional game, and while LeBron blows past Pierce, notice how much bigger that patch of grey hair is getting in Rasheed’s head. I’m not going to bang Sheed, because he showed up, this weekend, but I will bang his head patch.

Other things this week include the overblown perfect game, Steve Nash ousting the Spurs with his eye hanging out, and I think I saw a hockey score. Why are they playing hockey. I thought we gave hockey to Canada in exchange for healthcare.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

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