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“Hey New York I Thought Everyone Wanted To Play There…You Should Have Told Cliff Lee”


Cliff Lee Stuns New York

Let’s begin…

“Oh Cliff, thanks for giving me a knife to stick in the side of New York’s delusion.” When you talk to a New York sports fan they have a way about them (I would call it swagger, but their confidence is based on being something they’re not). Everybody says, “New York always gets there man.” That’s all I ever hear. Well somebody should have told Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee (I’m still waiting on LeBron James to show up. “You promised him to me. Somebody get Isaiah Thomas on the phone.”). Both of them spurned New York this summer for another franchise.

I have to give Cliff Lee credit. He used two teams as pawns in order to get what he really wanted.

  1. A Chance to be competitive every year
  2. Pitching in the National League
  3. No Pressure

I can’t wait to watch the press conference. I’m expecting him to show up with Don King and Nick Saban. Cliff Lee will step to the microphone and say, “These are two of my three best friends. Shout out to Kanye West, he couldn’t make it. Nick told me not to talk too much. So, I’m happy to be a Philly and let’s go Heat.”

I’m not going to completely dump on New York, because they did sign one big free agent “number 2, Derek Jeter (pronounced Jee-tah), number 2″ Oh yeah, and good luck signing Andy Pettitte. I think the city on New York should put some money together, and buy C.C. Sabathiaa back brace. He’s going to be sore carrying that pitching staff.

The truth about New York is no one wants to play there. That’s why they have to over pay superstars. If it were true that everyone wanted to play in New York, the Knicks and Mets would be contenders every year. A majority of athletes and people don’t want to live in cold weather. In order to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. You have to entice them. That is why the Yankees are the best franchise in baseball. They’re willing to pay you to be uncomfortable (Boston is also willing to do it, because the Yankees have forced them to do it). However if all things are equal…there are a lot of people lining up to take their talents to South Beach. That is why New York sports fans are delusional. They have one friend that’s good looking but, they all walk around like they’re hottest girl in the club. When in actuality, if your friend isn’t with you? You should be at a truck looking for change.

In this last paragraph I’m going to grab the Yankee fans off the Brooklyn Bridge (It will probably be a while before you had the chance to jump, because you have all those Mets’ fans in front of you). The Red Sox or the Yankees will represent the American League in the World Series (I give the nod to Boston because they have better pitching but its close). They have the best 2nd baseman in baseball (Robinson Cano) and a 1st baseman (Mark Teixeira) in the top three. And they also have tons of money. So, they’ll be okay.

Now excuse me while I figure out who the Cleveland Indians are going to bring in.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Baseball

 

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2010 Philadelphia Phillies, This Seasons Unsinkable Ship


 

"The Philadelphia Phillies Are The Favorite To Win Another World Series"

 

Let’s begin…

I have this theory called “The Unsinkable Ship.” I named it the Titanic. It was one of the most glamorous architectural structures ever. It was said to be an unsinkable ship, until later on when it sank. The requirements of being “The Unsinkable Ship” are as follows.

  1. It has to be a team, individual, or situation that is unproven
  2. The subject must widely be considered as the favorite to win on a big stage
  3. They must have a flaw no one talks about

    Every few years there’s a team or individual in sports that is widely seen as unbeatable. This year that team is the Philadelphia Phillies. Every time I turn on the Television or listen to sports talk radio. All I hear is, “The Phillies are great” and “The Phillies have the best rotation in the history of baseball.” Umm please stop if I’m wrong, but didn’t the Phillies lose in the World Series last year. You can say they upgraded at pitching(which they did), but Roy Halladay has never pitched in a big game, Roy Oswalt has a history of back problems, and Cole Hamels wet the bed in the World Series last year. However everyone keeps talking about how they’re better than the Yankees. Stop me if I’m wrong but didn’t the Yankees beat the Phillies last year with Cliff Lee (who is a better pitcher than Roy Halladay). And even if the starting lineups hold up, what will they do about their bullpen? The bullpen is the flaw that no one is talking about. The Phillies may breeze through the National league, but when they match up against great hitters they will have problems. I think they will run into those great hitters in the World Series. Some people will call it an upset. I will call it, Alex Rodriguez, Mark Teixeira, and Robinson Cano.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2010 in Baseball, Sports

 

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