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Kortney Shane’s College Football 2010 Season Review “Thank You Cam Newton!”


Cameron And Cecil Newton Got Paid?

Let’s begin…

My take away from this season is one thing, Cam Newton. There are other stories that I will talk about, but Newton is the main event. So let me get the undercards out of the way.

The most surprising story this year is the Texas Longhorns. Now I know they lost Colt McCoy (McCoy was their quarterback for the previous 4 years and currently holds the records for most career wins in college football. He now plays for the Cleveland Browns which I think is the highlight of his career), but you’re Texas. You’re supposed to get quarterbacks like Bill Cosby gets Jell-O pudding, “very easily.” Texas has decided to fire their offensive coordinator which is a bit of a knee jerk, but after this kind of season someone has to go. They’ll be better next year…I think so.

The most overrated portion of College Football is the Pac-10. Now before I rip the Pac-10 allow me to say I love the west coast. As a matter of fact I live in Seattle. I think there are serviceable football teams in this time zone, and some excellent quarterbacks. However this is not a great place for football. Between Google, lattes, and tree hugging there is no emotion left for sports. So to compare the Pac-10 to the SEC is about as smart as Jake Locker coming back to school another year (Even Lindsay Lohan thinks that was a bad decision). If you give the Pac-10 time and patience, they will come through below the big boys every time.

Over the last year and two months Urban has conducted a clinic on how to quit a job after success. If you didn’t attend the clinic, shame on you because it was open to the public. After two titles and Tim Tebow, Meyer saw that he was at the top of the heap. Actually it wasn’t a heap. It was more like a cliff, with mediocrity and irrelevance at the bottom. So, what does Urban do? He toys publicly with the idea of retiring (because he knew it was going to be tough to stay on top), and eventually ends up coming back for another year. Now he decides walks away after taking half a step off that cliff (He probably saw a lot of jagged rocks and Nick Saban laughing at him).

Urban Meyer said he retired from the Florida Gators to be with his family. Coaching at a high level is time consuming and unhealthy. Only thing that makes coaching worse is losing. I think it’s odd when people want to spend more time with their family as soon as their ship starts sinking. I’m not going to say he is lying. I will say he hasn’t coached his last game. “Urban thanks for showing the public how to get out. Now get in there and coach the Denver Broncos.”

Finally we arrive, Cam Newton!

First let’s get something straight. Cameron Newton got paid to play college football…now let’s move on.

For the last year I’ve been trying to think of a way to pay college players without creating a competitive advantage for NCAA teams (if you have any suggestions email me). Amidst my struggle, here come Cam Newton and his pops. Until I figure that out I want to formally adopt Cecil Newton’s (Cam’s father (I like to call him Don King Jr)) pay for play scheme. So, until I figure out a solution, “Parents are the only people allowed to negotiate contracts for college athletes. It’s only right that kids get paid. Now excuse me…I have to figure out how to keep Boise State out of the BCS.”

Cameron Newton has game. Anyone would like to have a player like him on their team. I watched this guy week after week trying to find the flaws in his game, and every week I ended up disappointed. I would mumble under my breath, “There’s no way a guy could win with a team that bad. His coach is Gene Chizik for goodness sake. Prior to this year his record was 13-24.”

I am skeptical about how much he will win as an NFL quarterback, because the guy has a lot of LeBron James in him (You win big individually but you can never quite get over the hump and win championships at the highest level). During an interview he uttered the phrase, “…I also told him. I was going to take my talents to Auburn.” That phrase should be on the ban list in the “Good P.R. Handbook.” Stop with the “taking of talents.” Especially is you’ve already stole a laptop, cheated on a test, and lied to the NCAA. How about you take the money from Auburn and go to the NFL.

The college football season was good. I could have done without all the Pac-10 breakdowns and BCS debate shows. The only thing that pisses me off more than the BCS, is people that debate it at nauseam. We all get it the BCS stinks, but it’s not going away. Treat the BCS like a spouse that you owe a lifetime of alimony. The only way to stop it is to kill it. So let’s be quiet until it dies.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

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Posted by on December 10, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 9


This Weekend Features A Big Ten Showdown Between Top 25 Teams

Let’s begin…

    Now that the Oklahoma lost (the third #1 team to lose in 3 weeks) it’s wide open for Boise State to move into the top 2…or not. Auburn (as you know by now) has leaped up to number one in the country. If you’re Boise State you can’t get worked up about what’s happening. There are teams beating better teams than the teams you’re facing, but that’s old news. The problem is the teams above you are undefeated. Even with that considered, you can’t get worked up. Look it doesn’t matter who is ranked one or two until the season is over.

    The most impressive thing I saw last weekend was Cameron Newton‘s passing ability. It’s probably an indictment on me more than it is a complement. I don’t watch Auburn because they’re not exciting and i don’t think they’re that good (by the way, still don’t think they’re that good). However Cam Newtown has great talent, and he could be a starting quarterback in the NFL next year.

There’s not many selection this weekend, so there’s no need to tease my game of the week. My game of the week is Michigan State v. Iowa.

Breakdown

Michigan State better bring their fake punts to Iowa this weekend. They will need everything in their arsenal to beat The Hawkeyes. Although Michigan State is undefeated, they’re often not talked about. I think this weekend will be a great opportunity for the Spartans to establish themselves as championship contenders. If they beat Iowa this weekend, don’t be surprised if they are ranked 3rd in the BCS (“Boise brace for impact”). On the other hand you have the Iowa Hawkeyes. Last week they were handed their second loss of the season by Wisconsin. With that loss they are probably out of the hunt for the Big Ten title. The only way for them to keep a glimmer of hope of winning the Big Ten, is to win out the rest of the season. Iowa has everything to lose Saturday. I’m not buying Michigan State stock. They win sloppy games with trick plays. That’s a sell in my book. If you include the fact that Iowa has a home field advantage, I don’t see the Spartans winning.

Iowa wins, 18 – 31

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 8


The Last Two Undefeated SEC Teams Will Battle This Weekend

Let’s begin…

    The AP Ranked #1 team went down this weekend. The Ohio State Buckeyes were beaten by The Wisconsin Badgers (feel free to substitute “dominated” for the word beaten). That was the kind of game where one team took the upper hand early and held on for the win. I don’t think The Badgers are a better team, but they were last Saturday.

    After this weekend I don’t know who the best in anything is. I don’t know the best team or the best quarterback. Then I looked at Boise State. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Boise State has the best quarterback in college football, in Kellen Moore. I don’t think they have the best team, but I think they will play in the National Championship. Eventually I think the best team will rise to the top. So, just sit back, try not to get work up about the BCS, and watch the games.

    My game of the week is LSU v. Auburn

Breakdown

    The LSU Tigers v. The Auburn Tigers will be a match between the only unbeaten teams left in the SEC. Let me start with LSU, the most underrated, undefeated team in college football. Everyone wants to fire Les Miles because of his coaching, and sometimes I think he’s actually trying to lose games. However, the guy just keeps on winning. This year LSU has Patrick Peterson, the most exciting player in college football this year. If you have heard about him, YouTube him now, I’ll wait… On the other side of the field is the Auburn Tigers. At quarterback they have what many people think is the leader in the Heisman Trophy race, in Cameron Newton. Newton was nothing short of spectacular in Auburn’s win over Arkansas last week. Cam Newton accounted for 4 touchdowns last week, in what was the highest scoring game in the history of the SEC. Although Newton ran for 3 touchdowns and 188 yards, I do think he will hold up physically because of his size (Unlike Denard Robinson who was injured again this weekend. I think I had that right). So, make no mistake about it. Cam Newtown is the real deal. I think that Auburn is good enough to stay unbeaten at home, but if this game is close LSU will win. As much as I want to straddle the fence, I will predict a close game.

LSU wins 26 – 24

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 5


 

Stanford Takes On Oregon In A Top Ten Matchup

 

Let’s begin…

    Another great week of College Football is in the books. While Texas was getting absolutely dominated by UCLA, Terrelle Pryor strengthened his grip on the Heisman trophy. After watching the games this week I have one question. As much as I would love to question why Notre Dame is still on T.V., I don’t have the energy or the ink. What I want to know is why the Big East still owns an automatic bid into the BCS. There’s not one team in the Big East that could beat any of the teams in the Big 12, SEC, Big 10 or the Pac-10 (I don’t include the ACC because that’s a bad conference, and they shouldn’t have an automatic bid either). The teams aren’t every kind of scary. I would argue that the Mountain West has better teams at the top of their conference…okay I won’t go that far because the Mountain West is Garbage (pronounced garbaaagg).

    Conference games begin this week, so you’ll start to get a good barometer on what teams are. That means there are many good games this week. I have my eye on 2games, Oregon v. Stanford and Alabama v. Florida. As much as I want to breakdown the SEC I just can’t. They have too many good games left to play (they’ll have more opportunities) and I’m not putting Alabama’s logo on my blog 2 weeks in a row. So, I’m paying attention to the Pac-10

Breakdown

    Ever since LeGarrette Blount put that big corn-fed guy from Boise State to sleep on the 30 yard line, the Oregon Ducks have grown something. Something that Rhymes with guts, and they’re kind of like guts but not really. The Ducks are on absolute fire offensively. They score quick and often. They will also have home field advantage this week, and I love home field advantage. Stanford is a great Pac-10 team. They have one of the top 3 quarterbacks in college and the have a great coach. Ever since they beat USC 2 years ago I would argue they have been a top 3 team in the Pac-10. I think Andrew Luck will have a decent game, but it won’t be enough. The Cardinals are coming off of an emotional win, and I don’t think they can get up 2 weeks in a row. Oregon on the other hand still has a lot to prove. They are playing to get in the National Championship this year, and if they win this game. They will jump over Boise State, and be #3 in the country.

I think the Oregon Ducks will win the game, 45 – 17

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview: Week 3


Nebraska Will Take On Washington In Seattle

Let’s begin…

Review

    Did big teams show up this weekend? I think so. Alabama, Ohio State, Oklahoma, and Florida pounded their competition. They proved that they are in the 10 of college football. One of those teams will win the National title this year, and all of them will play in a BCS game.

    The big performance of the weekend goes to Denard Robinson of Michigan. He showed Notre Dame in one game why they’ve been losing for the last 10 years. He has something Notre Dame hasn’t had…speed (along with dreadlocks and shoes without any laces).

    I think I feel bad that Boise State loss this weekend without even playing (thanks to Virginia Tech‘s losing to James Madison).

Preview

    There aren’t many good games this week. I will be watching Michigan State v. Notre Dame and Iowa v. Arizona. However my game of the week is Nebraska v. Washington. This is probably not the sexiest game, but I have to give some love to the west coast.

Breakdown

    The Washington Huskies really have their backs against the wall this weekend. Nebraska is a better team at least I think they are. If you take a quick look at them, you would think they are the power team of last year. However, when you look closer they are a one dimensional team, with a run first mentality. They have looked great against terrible teams, and still haven’t been able to generate a passing game. Washington on the other hand is a more balanced team. They do have a limited defense, but they have a good coach to compensate. They also have two ex-factors working for them. They have home field advantage and they have a great quarterback (Jake Locker). If Washington can stop the run they will win the game going away. I don’t think they will do that, but they will do enough to win.

I have Washington wining, 27 – 24

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on September 15, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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Kortney Shane’s College Football Preview


 

Could This Be a Down Year For the BCS?

Let’s begin…

    This year throughout the college football season, I will be previewing each week of college football, while paying special attention to “My Game of the Week.” This means I will not be focusing on D-3, D-2, D-1AA, Tulsa, Vermont, or any Conference USA football. I will analyze and predict football games each week.

So, that’s what I will be doing. I hope you all enjoy, and as also comment and let me know what you think.

        Now let’s get to the preview.

The Top Ten according to me.

  1. Alabama
  2. Ohio State
  3. Texas
  4. Virginia Tech
  5. Florida
  6. Oklahoma
  7. Boise State
  8. Miami
  9. Iowa
  10. TCU

     

Also receiving votes: LSU, Washington, Stanford, UConn, Wisconsin, Pittsburg, Arkansas, and No one from Conference USA. USC received no votes, but…Reggie Bush is still receiving money. I think that this year will be somewhat of a down year for college football. There will be many teams that will have to opportunity to make it to a B.C.S. Bowl game. Don’t be surprised if both TCU, Boise State, and Washington, make it into the B.C.S. With that being said, I think there are 3 teams that could possibly win the championship.

Conference Previews From East to West

                Big East: I’m going to pick the USF Bulls to finish first. I love their coach, I like their location (Florida schools can ball. I don’t know if you’ve noticed), and that’s the worst B.C.S. Conference.

ACC: Virginia Tech will win the ACC. I do think that Miami has the most talent. However, the talent is too young, and young talent in Miami can be a bad combination. Give them another year, and I think they could make a National Championship run.

SEC: The SEC will be won by Alabama. They’re the best team so why not.

Big Ten: Ohio State is once again the class of the Big Ten, and the will win the Conference title for the 6th straight year. The bigger question is will they lose a Big Ten game and Jeopardize their title chances.

Big 12: Texas will win the Big 12. This is definitely a down year for this conference, so it’s kind of hard to predict. I pick Texas because they generally recruit better talent. Plus I like their quarterback to fill Colt McCoy‘s shoes, better than Oklahoma filling Sam Bradford’s shoes.

Pac-10: This conference is definitely the most wide open. If not for the sanctions that USC will be facing for the next 2 years, I would pick them hands down. However, because of the sanctions Washington, Stanford, Arizona State, and Oregon have a real chance to dominate. With all that being said talent wins in college sports. That’s why I’m picking the USC Trojans to win the Pac-10. They just have a better team than everyone else. There biggest road block will be keeping their players motivated to play, while knowing they won’t be rewarded with post season play.

Everyone Else: Obviously you have to keep an Eye on Boise State. You don’t need me to tell you they have an oppurtnity to make history, by being the first non-B.C.S. school to play in the championship game. TCU is another team that I love. I definitely think they will make it to another BCS bowl game. Notre Dame will continue to be terrible. Notre Dame Apologist will tell you their building a team and they recruit top players. Well if that’s true, why don’t you win? Boise State wins, and they (supposedly) recruit lesser talent. Notre Dame will only win this year if they finally embrace what they are, a team that has limited talent, and must rely on a change of pace game.

Big Winners and Big Losers

    The big winners this season will be

The SEC: They will continue to show their dominance.

The Big Ten: This year they will reestablish themselves as the second best conference in the country.

The Heisman Trophy winner will be Terrelle Pryor

        The Best college player will be Julio Jones

    The Big Losers

        The Michigan Wolverines, if I were Rich Rodriguez I would rent and not buy. “Hey Rich, your rents do.”

        USC will be a loser, because of the post season ban. The amount of money and recruits they will lose could really hurt them in the future.

        The BCS Bowl system will be a loser. After all the bad publicity they’ll get this season, I don’t know how they win…unless everyone watches all the games? MY bad, the BCS is still a winner.

Small conference will be the big loser, because after all the publicity Boise State, TCU, and Utah get this season. They will no longer have a need for you. Those teams will leave for bigger and better conferences, rendering the WAC and MWC even more irrelevant than they already are. Personally I thought that was impossible, but if you have faith, scrubs always come through.

    

So, that’s what will happen this season. Feel free to react with a comment, or just continue to mumble under your breathe.

And by the way, The Ohio State Buckeyes will be National Champions.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2010 in College Sports, Football

 

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