“I Apologize”…Dwyane Wade and Kobe Bryant Have Everything In Common

Kobe and D-Wade Look On..."I'm a Dope That Was Lame"

Let’s begin…

As much as I love being right you have to admit when you’re wrong. And I was/am/maybe wrong about Dwyane Wade (still can’t admit it).

Now I’ve always thought the hype that surrounded Dwyane was premature and unwarranted. Granted he was the MVP of the 2006 NBA Finals (what a shot to my argument), but what did he do in the playoffs without Shaquille O’Neal or LeBron James (I will give you time to think)…nothing.

One of the untold stories about Wade’s career is without Shaq and now LeBron James, he’s only been out of the first round of the playoffs one time. This has been one of my main sticking points with Wade (sticking point?? Who do I think I am?). If you’re going to be viewed as the one of the top 3 players in the league, you have to get out of the first round. However, I’ve never looked at the other side of that equation, which would go something like this, “When he does have help he gets the job done.” Now I would admit that perhaps I overlooked this.

Winning is an ability. I’m not sure if it’s a skill, but it is an ability. While it may be easy to dismiss this notion, there is something to be said for winning. Winning is why players become Hall of Famers (please see Robert Horry. By the way I’m looking for a Horry jersey. Somebody hook ya boy up). Winning is one of things we hang over players careers as a means to diminish their accolades (please see Charles Barkley). One of the best examples of winning amplifying a players career is Kobe Bryant (excuse me I have to vomit).

Let’s think about Kobe’s career for a minute with the championships aside. He’s been the MVP, the scoring champion a couple times, and a perennial all-star. Now look at Wade. He’s never been an MVP, but he’s a perennial all-star and has also won a scoring champion. So what’s the difference between Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade…nothing (that’s right I said it)? If Kobe Bryant had played with the same teams that Dwyane Wade has played with. The results would be the same. That’s a fact. Without Hall of Fame Players around him, Kobe Bryant made it out of the first round of the playoffs one time (eerily similar to D-Wade). So, if we’re going to hail Bryant as winner guy, the same should be done for Wade.

So I was wrong about Dwyane Wade. He is a great player, and a future Hall of Famer. My only question is can he win without Shaq…Kobe did it.

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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2011 NBA Season Lottery Teams Rankings, MVP, and Best Team

The Heat, Lakers, and Thunder Are All Powerhouse Teams

Let’s begin…

NBA Lottery Teams, Power Rankings

The rankings are based on a combination of quality of players, expectations, and how awful the team was. I’m ranking best outcome to worse outcome.

“This is it. Don’t get scared now.”

1. L.A. Clippers: This was clearly the best lottery team this season. They toyed with the idea of making the playoffs while being just bad enough to make it into the lottery. Couldn’t have done it better myself.
2. Houston Rockets: This is the arguably the best team in the lottery. They obviously have some holes to fill in the front court, but they have one of the best front offices in the NBA. They will be fine. Look for them to make the playoffs next year.
3. Milwaukee Bucks: This is a playoff team that caught some bad breaks. Look for them to get back on track next season. “Fear the Dear”
4. Phoenix Suns: This franchise is in denial. They should have started rebuilding 3 years ago after the Shaq experience. They have to get what they can for Steve Nash and cut bait with Vince Carter as soon as possible. Do it for the kids.
5. Golden State Warriors: I don’t even know what to call this. I think it’s a basketball team, but I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish. I’m not sure they are even trying to win games, but I love this organization, because hands down they have the best fantasy players.
6. Utah Jazz: After losing their two best players what could you reasonably expect. If you’re a Jazz fan just pray Jimmer Fredette is off the board before the Jazz make their pick.
7. Minnesota Timberwolves: For the talent this team had they should have won a few more games. At the same time this is Minnesota. I’m not sure they know they still have a basketball team.
8. Sacramento Kings: Welcome to the best high school team of all time. If John Calipari were a GM this is the team he would put together. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kings end up having to vacate wins.
9. Charlotte Bobcats: You changed coaches, traded away your best players, and Michael Jordan is your de facto GM. Other than that things are great.
10. Washington Wizards: Your team stinks, but at least you have John Wall.
11. Cleveland Cavaliers: “Damn” Nuff said
12. Toronto Raptors: I know why this debacle happened, but did you have to wallow in the debacle?
13. Detroit Pistons: I wanted to put Toronto last, but then I remembered that no one playing for the Pistons likes to organization. So I will jump off the ship with them.

My All NBA Team

C Dwight Howard

PF LaMarcus Aldridge

SF LeBron James

SG Dwyane Wade

PG Derrick Rose

I almost put Kevin Durant at shooting guard because he should be on this list.

2011 MVP

This belongs to Dwight Howard. I don’t want to hear about how Derrick Rose is so great. Look, dude isn’t even top five in the NBA (FYI top five: LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dirk Nowitzki). Don’t get me wrong he’s a good player, but he is replaceable. On the other hand no one changes the game on both ends of the floor the way Dwight Howard does. He is the most dominate force in the NBA, and the MVP.

Best Team in the NBA

The Los Angeles Lakers are the best team. It may be seen as a copout, but they’re the best. The bottom line is they would be the favorite against every other team in the NBA. They have the best closer in Kobe Bryant, and the best coach in Phil Jackson. The Lakers should win the championship.

Season Synopsis

This has been the best regular season in recent history. I think it can spark another golden age in basketball, and I want to thank LeBron James (you’ll have to excuse me for a moment I just threw up in my mouth). James and the Miami Heat changed the way originations put their teams together. Now thanks to them we have powerhouse teams in big markets (the downside is terrible teams like Toronto ad Cleveland…just threw up in my mouth again).

There are 6 teams that have a legitimate shot at winning a championship. I can’t remember the last time that was the case. Wide open playoffs should make for some excitement.

“It’s Go Time!”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

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Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?

Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

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Christmas Day Basketball, Featuring Juggernauts

Will The Miam Heat Hype Machine Crank Up?

Let’s begin…

I can’t wait for the Christmas, because of the slate of intriguing NBA games. I feel like I’m 7 years old again I might just sleep by the Television and wake up every 15 minutes to see if it’s 11:30 (2:30 east coast time. Allow me to show some love to the west coast here. They have to watch the Seahawks play for goodness sake. Let me throw them a bone). This has been the most exciting NBA regular season since 1995 when Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls. The NBA has star power, intrigue, and most importantly…juggernauts. If I knew all it took was a decision by LeBron to create this kind of excitement? I would have signed up for it a long time ago. I would have even help scrounge up some kids to beef up that boys’ and girls’ audience.

Now there are plenty of people opposed to the NBA as currently constructed, because of the unwatchable teams at the bottom of the league. If that’s your concern I understand (Shoot I’m a Cleveland Cavaliers‘ fan, so I feel your pain. You couldn’t pay me to watch 82 games of that). This summer I thought this would be bad for the league. Then I realized, “I’m emotionally invested in the NBA during the summer? This is great.” Do you know what’s worse than having 15 unwatchable teams? (You’re not really supposed to think about that question. That’s just a non-rhetorical question that makes me feel like I’m making a groundbreaking point “I’m dropping knowledge”)…having 2 great teams and 25 uncompelling teams that are just okay (please see the NBA 1998 – 2004).

There are 8 NBA juggernauts in this order: Boston Celtics, San Antonio Spurs, L.A. Lakers, Dallas Mavericks, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (tie), Chicago Bulls, and Oklahoma City Thunder (Feel free to complain). These teams have managed to make the regular season mean something, when it means nothing at all. I would argue out of all professional sports, basketball’s regular season means the least. In the last 10 years only 2 teams have led the regular season in wins and went on to win the championship. So, these Christmas day games are going to be great, but outcome it really doesn’t, unless Miami wins by double digits.

If the Miami Heat beat the L.A. Lakers convincingly; ESPN, VS, and even The Food Network, will re-fire the hype machine. You remember that machine…the one that continues to show the first 30 seconds of the decision, followed by the championship celebration in Miami the next day. It’s been out of order ever since Boston beat Miami for the second time and LeBron accidently bumped his coach on purpose. I don’t expect the out of order sign to come off of that machine. Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers will be ready to play. I think Kobe’s been ready to play ever since Miami celebrated their “9 consecutive championships” (They haven’t actually won 9 championships. Just in case some dope is looking that up). This game will be competitive, but the Lakers have too much for the Heat to deal with. Miami will lose this game, and sport networks will actually have to work for a lead story.

Enjoy the games and embrace the juggernauts. Personally I’m going to start taking Benadryl and drinking NyQuil, so I can fall asleep.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

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KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/