2011 NBA Season Lottery Teams Rankings, MVP, and Best Team

The Heat, Lakers, and Thunder Are All Powerhouse Teams

Let’s begin…

NBA Lottery Teams, Power Rankings

The rankings are based on a combination of quality of players, expectations, and how awful the team was. I’m ranking best outcome to worse outcome.

“This is it. Don’t get scared now.”

1. L.A. Clippers: This was clearly the best lottery team this season. They toyed with the idea of making the playoffs while being just bad enough to make it into the lottery. Couldn’t have done it better myself.
2. Houston Rockets: This is the arguably the best team in the lottery. They obviously have some holes to fill in the front court, but they have one of the best front offices in the NBA. They will be fine. Look for them to make the playoffs next year.
3. Milwaukee Bucks: This is a playoff team that caught some bad breaks. Look for them to get back on track next season. “Fear the Dear”
4. Phoenix Suns: This franchise is in denial. They should have started rebuilding 3 years ago after the Shaq experience. They have to get what they can for Steve Nash and cut bait with Vince Carter as soon as possible. Do it for the kids.
5. Golden State Warriors: I don’t even know what to call this. I think it’s a basketball team, but I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish. I’m not sure they are even trying to win games, but I love this organization, because hands down they have the best fantasy players.
6. Utah Jazz: After losing their two best players what could you reasonably expect. If you’re a Jazz fan just pray Jimmer Fredette is off the board before the Jazz make their pick.
7. Minnesota Timberwolves: For the talent this team had they should have won a few more games. At the same time this is Minnesota. I’m not sure they know they still have a basketball team.
8. Sacramento Kings: Welcome to the best high school team of all time. If John Calipari were a GM this is the team he would put together. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kings end up having to vacate wins.
9. Charlotte Bobcats: You changed coaches, traded away your best players, and Michael Jordan is your de facto GM. Other than that things are great.
10. Washington Wizards: Your team stinks, but at least you have John Wall.
11. Cleveland Cavaliers: “Damn” Nuff said
12. Toronto Raptors: I know why this debacle happened, but did you have to wallow in the debacle?
13. Detroit Pistons: I wanted to put Toronto last, but then I remembered that no one playing for the Pistons likes to organization. So I will jump off the ship with them.

My All NBA Team

C Dwight Howard

PF LaMarcus Aldridge

SF LeBron James

SG Dwyane Wade

PG Derrick Rose

I almost put Kevin Durant at shooting guard because he should be on this list.

2011 MVP

This belongs to Dwight Howard. I don’t want to hear about how Derrick Rose is so great. Look, dude isn’t even top five in the NBA (FYI top five: LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Dirk Nowitzki). Don’t get me wrong he’s a good player, but he is replaceable. On the other hand no one changes the game on both ends of the floor the way Dwight Howard does. He is the most dominate force in the NBA, and the MVP.

Best Team in the NBA

The Los Angeles Lakers are the best team. It may be seen as a copout, but they’re the best. The bottom line is they would be the favorite against every other team in the NBA. They have the best closer in Kobe Bryant, and the best coach in Phil Jackson. The Lakers should win the championship.

Season Synopsis

This has been the best regular season in recent history. I think it can spark another golden age in basketball, and I want to thank LeBron James (you’ll have to excuse me for a moment I just threw up in my mouth). James and the Miami Heat changed the way originations put their teams together. Now thanks to them we have powerhouse teams in big markets (the downside is terrible teams like Toronto ad Cleveland…just threw up in my mouth again).

There are 6 teams that have a legitimate shot at winning a championship. I can’t remember the last time that was the case. Wide open playoffs should make for some excitement.

“It’s Go Time!”

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

Refire The Miami Heat Hype; Can The Orlando Magic Win It All?

Another Christmas, Another LeBron James Win

Let’s begin…

I knew it would happen if Miami beat L.A. on Christmas day. I knew writers would fuel it, because of the easy story line. I thought the Lakers would stop it dead in it’s tracks. What I didn’t know is the Lakers could care less about it.

“It” is the hype machine. Let’s refire it.

The stage was set for the main event on Christmas day. The Miami Heat vs. the L.A. Lakers in the Staples Center, The Heat 3 versus Kobe and the boys. The game started at 5 o’ clock, but I’m still waiting for the Lakers to show up (Maybe there on Isaiah Rider time and they’ll show some time in the second quarter next week). I would like to say the Lakers quit, but that would be giving them too much credit. They just no showed.

I have to give Miami credit. They won the game. They showed up, and dominated. I don’t remember them missing a jump shot. It was like watching Pleasantville (when everyone was black and white…I think I’ll stop with the lame movie references). They didn’t make any detrimental mistakes the entire game, which is surprising because Eric Dampier and Joel Anthony are on the team. I didn’t even know they could catch a basketball. I saw the look in their eyes and they were shocked too. So, big ups to the Heat.

With that being said my opinion on the Heat hasn’t changed. I think they’re top 3 in the Eastern Conference and a championship contender. That opinion isn’t changing until they win something.

The Magic Back To How They Were?

I was somewhat impressed with the Orlando Magic, but more with what they did before the game.

The Magic made two huge trades last week. They brought back Hedo Turkoglu, and acquired Gilbert Arenas. More importantly, they got rid of Vice Carter and Rashard Lewis. Vince Carter has never went to another team, and made it better. He has always made the team worse. (If you don’t believe me look it up). The problem with Vince is he always shrinks on the big stage, milks injuries (By the way he hasn’t played a game since the trade because of…wait for it…a knee injury), and mails in games all the time. He’s, just, puree (A saying I made famous in high school, which means no one but me knows of it). Vince Carter is everything you don’t want in a franchise player.

As for Rashard Lewis, dude is just over paid. If he were making less money he would have stayed in Orlando. At least he gets to go to D.C. It should be easier for him to get his steroids there.

With the trades Orlando made they publicly admitted they made a mistake. They should have paid Hedo (Even though he’s over paid), because of what he was to their team. He was the guy that step up in clutch moments and led the team to the finals. He even made Rashard Lewis look good. Turkoglu has always been big time, even going back to his days in Sacramento. I don’t have much to say about Gilbert. I just hope he doesn’t bring guns in the locker room, or take a dump in someone shoes. So, I give the Magic credit for rectify their mistake.

I think Orland has gotten back to what made them a good team. They have a clear franchise player in Dwight Howard (please see this on Dwight Howard), and a proven clutch performer in Hedo Turkoglu. The fact that they beat Boston says nothing. If you want to dissect it, you could say Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins weren’t playing. You could also say Orlando beat and lost to Boston in the playoffs, so the game proves nothing. What I saw was a group of players that all knew their roles. That’s what got Orlando to the Finals two years ago, and they now have a chance to win a championship.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian and Writer

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/

 

NBA Finals 2010 Preview, who will win? I know…

Let’s begin…

“Oh, so we made it this far…” It’s time for the final act, but before we do that, lets put Orlando and Phoenix to rest.

    Orlando, what happened? Please don’t tell me. Let me guess. Was it Vince Carter? So, I guess this series puts the whole Vince Carter, Hedo Turkoglu debate to rest. Now everyone knows. Even though I thought everyone already knew. I guess Vince is like a woman that’s been on Maury 7 times. We’re hoping she finds the father, and we hope Vince can find a playoff game. In the mean time it’s fun watching him try. Orlando was a better team than the Boston Celtics, but the best team doesn’t always win. At the same time you have to give the Celtics credit. They knew they could leave Rashard Lewis open. They knew Vince was a playoff bum. And they knew it would take Stan Van Gundy 3 games to play J.J. Redick. Redick is not a great player, but they needed basketball IQ on the floor. That’s right Orlando lost because they were dumb. Now that they’re done lets start the Dwight Howard rumors. How about Howard to the Knicks?

    “Phoenix, the rollercoaster season is over. You guys over achieved. No one thought you would even slightly put it together. I give you credit for entertaining me once again, and not playing defense. You guys even tried playing a zone. I haven’t seen a zone since I played JV basketball.” I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that they played a zone, or the fact that it worked. I think I have to give you credit for at least trying, but enjoy the finals at home. Also get ready for the offseason rollercoaster. Lets call it, “Amare Stoudemire.”

The Finals

    So we have arrived. Celtics v. Lakers. The most storied franchises in the NBA. Old fans will watch because it reminds them of their youth. Young fans watch because of Kobe Bryant. Everyone else watches it, because they don’t want to watch hockey. I can’t believe that Boston made it. Not only do they have Doc Rivers as a coach, but they beat Miami, Cleveland, and Orlando. Those were the three toughest possible Eastern Conference matchups. The Lakers on the other hand were expected to be in this position. Many people felt they were the best team all season, and they proved to be the best team in the Eastern Conference. If you’re keeping count at home, they’ve been to 3 NBA Championships in a row. Now lets ask Phil Jackson if he’ll leave L.A. to coach the Nets.

    This is a tough series to call. I could see it going either way. So let’s break it down player for player.

    Kobe v. Paul Pierce. I give the edge to Kobe. He’s superior in every way, and he’s the best player in the NBA.

    Ron Artest v. Ray Allen. This matchup is even. Offense cancels out the defense for both players.

    Rajon Rondo v. Derrik Fisher. Rondo v. Fisher, need I say more. This match up is a mismatch and it’s not even close. The point guard position is the Lakers biggest flaw.

    Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum v. Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins. I give the Lakers a slight edge in the front court. The Lakers are better offensively while the Celtics have the defensive edge. Great offense always beats great defense.

    Rasheed Wallace, Glen Davis, Tony Allen v. Lamar Odom, Jordan Farmar, Shannon Brown. I definitely take the Celtics bench. Rasheed will be smart and physical. Glen Davis will play hard. At certain times during the NBA Finals Tony Allen will bet the best player on the floor. Lamar Odom is up and down, east and west. He could give you a great game, but it depends on how many Gummy Bears he eats at halftime. The rest of the Lakers bench is useless. I give a huge edge to the Celtics.

I keep trying to talk myself into the Lakers winning the finals, but I can’t do it. I think they can win if Rondo doesn’t play well, but I don like picking a team based on a big time player failing. I will give the Lakers a punchers chance. They have the best and baddest man on the planet, Kobe Bryant. If Kobe can pull this off, I will rank him right up there with Jordan. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I will take the Celtics in 5. Rajon Rondo will be the Finals MVP.

-Kortney Shane

Comedian (Maybe a writer)

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

KortneyShaneComedy@gmail.com

https://thekortneyshanepillar.wordpress.com/